Best Korea

Evildoer Korea aka Best Korea is the opposite of [[Good Korea|Gay Korea]] and one of the greatest anti-American trolls of the last forty years, managing to obtain [[eproctophilia|nuclear weapons]] and a [[space|space program]] without anybody being [[Internet Tough Guy|strong enough]] to stop them. When US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright returned from the country in the year 2000 she confirmed that Kim Jong-Il had at least one tiny missile that he had been repeatedly dipping into her Pu-Tang River.

In the Occupied Southern portion of Korea, businessmen belong to inescapable tribal syndicates. In their little private time they lament not being able to achieve an even higher standard of living in hopes of becoming White Americans by apotheosis through Gangnam Style consumerism. Their children play Starcraft until they spontaneously develop Aspergers and become [[Loser|Hikikomori]] who will be unable to maintain them (or themselves) in old age.

In the People's Republic of Korea, North of the Occupied Zone, workers come home to a loyal and loving family after working productive hours to ensure their country's sovereignty and self sufficiency (Juche) and proceed to relax lighting up large blunts of K2 which they are able to plant or buy cheaply and legally, while waiting for their wives to cook a dinner for which they have a true, Dear Leader, to thank. https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn4ywx/north-korea-is-stoned-all-the-time-which-explains-a-lot" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sticky

Which is the workers paradise after all?

Of Great Understanding the Might of Strong Will of Korer

crying that everyone will know how Adam's nation rekt [[Satan|Ban-Go]]. ]]
Officially The Workers' Paradise, or Koryo for short, is by its own standards the best country in the World, and the only country where taxes are nonexistent. The official currency is the Marlboro 20 pack, so even if [[faggot|you don't smoke]], you should take a lot of cigarettes to your [[BDSM|carefree]] vacation.

The Capital, Pyongyang, has been ranked the Cleanest, Safest, most ordered City in Asia for the last 6 decades consecutively. Additionally it boasts the lowest crime rate of the region, and homicides are almost nonexistent. Instead of the depressing, robotic, traffic lights you'd find in any other bustling metropolis, in the Capital of Paradise, beautiful ladies wave colorful flags to direct traffic and every night the people vote to shut down electricity so as to reduce their carbon footprint, as well as appreciate the star-spangled sky. Healthcare, education and lifelong employment are rights ensured to all Koreans by their Dear Leader, whom they generally thank by building tall monuments to belittle foreigners with.

While [[Fox News|Fucks News]] spreads the lie that Best Korea mistreats its own people, the World Health Organisation says https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-10665964" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">its healthcare system is the envy of the developing world. As America's hospitals are only available to [[Jews|rich people]] it means that Best Korea has already surpassed the United States in this area.

Due to the combination of a [[Communism|Stable Government]], [[Libertarian|NO Taxes]], [[Nazi|NO Crime]], [[Communism|Healthcare benefits]], [[No niggers|Clean Cities]], and [[Holocaust|Untouched Nature]], but somewhat chilly winters, a retirement magazine has ranked North Korea as the number 2 favorite expat destination, Cuba. And because North Korea has the most liberal cannabis laws in the World (less controlled a substance than ginseng), Big Buds Magazine and 87% of ED's Senate ranks it top.

Kim Jong Un's Obesity/Fatty Awareness

As you all may know the leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Un is now estimated to be around 500 pounds of pure lard.

If he does not control his eating habits soon he could die before the [[Drumpf|The Donald]] kills him in a few months.

Kim Jong-Un owns many houses and he spends all his money buying fridges and food, his favorites being Ho-Hos and Dingdongs.

Kim is also known to enjoy hourly drinks of Crown and Coke.

The leader of North Korea daily meal plan is often [[bacon & eggs]] for breakfast, side of stacked pancakes.
For lunch: 10 hot dogs and deep fried kimchi.
For dinner: 4 triple bacon chili Swiss cheese burgers & half a chocolate cake for dessert.
For midnight snack, 1 extra large Swiss cheese pizza and an entire baked dog (stuffed with cats).

Kim Jong Un has trouble sleeping at night due to his enormous ass and bloating from gas...also the fear of being assassinated.

Kim Jong Un's eating schedule is 8am-9AM Breakfast 12PM -1PM lunch Dinner 6PM-7PM Midnight snack 12AM-1AM. Between these hours, he can often be found in his dining room screaming at his chefs to hurry up with his meal orders.

Geography

Best Korea is immediately north of [[Good Korea]] and south of [[China]], limits with [[Russia]] to the northeast, on the top half of a peninsula that is west of [[Japan]]. It has water on both sides, and is probably a convenient place for throwing things into China, or to Vladivostok. It may also have some good surf beaches and shit, but we can't say for sure because they haven't been letting whitey -- or much of anything, for that matter -- into the country. That includes food, internets, or even decent TV programming, which leads for a pretty anti-lulzy lifestyle.

Not all in the PDRK is urban hype, to the Northeast stretches the pristine mountain range that gave celestial birth to the Dear Leader, and while the area is closed to any foreigner, journalist or not, due to its sacred geography; the State informs us that in the region beautiful ski slopes abound where workers spend their paid vacations drinking hot chocolate at their chalets. The State also informs us that the pictures of what would look like Concentration Camps in that same area as seen from Google Earth are actually shopped, another Western lie, and that in fact those pictures are of a [[Glenn Beck|FEMA camp]] near Anchorage, Alaska. But not to worry, the Dear Leader wants to win our affection and is already planning the destruction of the FEMA Alaska KZs with his mighty Typo-Dong.


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People

Millions of folks live in Best Korea, but none of them make Samsungs or Kias. The government is too busy being Bests, and the citizens are too busy starving to death or being shot in the head by government officials to be doing much of anything.

When the poor peasants do come out of their malnourished stupor, they often get together in small groups of seven and a half, usually with a small pack of kimchi, and try to cross the border into [[Gorea]], but mostly end up getting caught by the border guards because they talk too loudly while eating [[shit|kimchi]], then get sent back to Best Korea for torture.

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Stadium of Doom

Public executions are often held here. The fake green tarp is covering up the evidence.

Economy

The North Korean government is very [[jail|concerned]] with what the people of their country do after a hard days work for their [[God|Dear Leader]]. That is why [[truth|opium and marijuana]] are legal there, it's like the Dear Leader giving them a pat on the back for a job well done. The North Koreans in their [[Shithole|perfect]] country feel bad for the rest of the world because they can't enjoy a good [[drug|opium]] session at the end of the day. The North Koreans, appalled at the [[America|oppressive]] governments of the rest of the world, started [[truth|manufacturing]] methamphetamine, heroin, https://sgp.fas.org/crs/row/RL33885.pdf" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">opium, and pills just to give away to other nations. Their generosity being so above that of other nation's that their hope was only wanting [[You|everyone]] to be as happy and carefree as the population of Best Korea. The other [[Gooks|nations]] around North Korea not accustomed to such innate kindness demanded they pay money for their [[Heroin|drugs]], the Dear Leader not wanting to insult other country's customs graciously accepted their monies and buys himself new palaces for [[Communism|himself and all his people]]

Best Korea also makes [[Pro_Ana|healthier North Koreans]] drill constantly for massive parades while the rest starve near unfarmed fields and abandoned factories, thus its the worlds biggest producer of parades.

North Korea net worth

$5 Billion one of the poorest countries on the planet.

Kim Jong-un controls the countries debit card so he spent it on a lifetime's supply of ding dongs, single malt whiskies, and cheese.

Forbes lists Kim Jong Uns net worth at $5 Billion.

The best way we can describe Kim Jong-Un's spending habits is for you to imagine [[Chris Chan]] being put in charge of a country's credit card. I bet Kim Jong-Un's palace is filled to the top with legos and [[My Little Pony|Rainbow Dash]] stuffed animals with holes torn out under their tails.

Food

[[Hillary Clinton|Cunts]] also try to accuse Best Korea of being unable to feed their populace. However the DPRK is one of the few places in the world where the famines are not caused by social relations (as they are in [[Africa|some places]] where "famines" really amount to people [[poor|not being able to afford to purchase food]]). On the contrary, their system of distribution (rationing) has actually limited the effects of food shortages according to the UN. A brief look at the history of food shortages show the root causes and smash the propaganda of [[Christopher Hitchens|idiots]]:

1990 - Growth in energy, industry and agriculture stops for the first time in DPRK history as the country's trading partners in the [[In Soviet Russia|Socialist Bloc]] collapse. Imports of necessities like fertilizer and fuel cease. Economy screeches to a halt.

1995/1996 - Some of the worst floods [[EVAR|in the history of the world]] occur in the DPRK. According to the UN: "Flooding of this magnitude had not been recorded in at least 70 years." More than [[Over 9000|a million tons]] of food lost, crops ruined. The flooding destroys coal mines and absolutely cripples hydroelectric power production (which is the major source of electricity) - more sources of energy gone. Combine this with the loss of fertilizer and fuel imports and [[Mr. Hands|industrialized agriculture]] becomes almost impossible. Between the floods in this period came some of the worst droughts in history, which also wreaked havoc on crops and hydroelectricity. TL;DR - Raped by god.

Now - Although food production nearly doubled between 1997 and 2007, a lot of that progress was destroyed by another huge series of [[Crapflood|floods]] in 2007 that was combined with the reductions of food donations from abroad that the country became reliant on. Also note that Best Korea got the short end of the stick in agriculture, since only 14% of its land is arable (compared to 19% in the south). These borders were imposed by [[Dumbfuckistan|Murka]] and it is their fault. Best Korea is a mountainous (80% of the country is covered in mountains) and a much colder place than Gay Korea, making it less hospitable to crops. Due to fuel shortages as a consequence of the Yankee embargo, Best Korea has had to [[Britney Spears|deforest]] vast swathes of land to make new farmland, which ironically makes floods significantly worse.

[[Win|Korean Government]]

) deity ]]
.]]

Evil Korea was founded by Kim Il-Sung who was a fucking superhero. When he died people rushed out into the streets and wept, then when thousands of cranes descended from the sky to collect his soul, they witnessed this and allowed his soul to watch over them and guide them forever.

Kim Jong-Ill

Kim Jong-Il (an aging lesbian with a resemblance to Billy Jean King) is WAS [[Pussy-whipped|in charge]]. He frequently used his power to have Desperate Housewives DVDs imported to the country despite trade embargoes. Kim Jong Il's other pastimes included writing [[Shit nobody cares about|operas]] and ass-raping his eunuchs.

Mr. Jong-Il Kim was frequently in trouble with the UN while alive. The UN said that he was not allowed to import any more caviar, wine, and European chefs. He was also no longer allowed to import any more thirteen year old Chinese and Russian ladyboys. This was [[Japan]]'s idea because they hate Best Korea. Mr. Kim is expected to starve to death without these basic supplies.

|}}
}}

Why wasn't Kim Jong-Il taken out during his reign? Well if you live in Korea, deep down, you still love this guy and always will. From his kidnapping of a South Korean director in order to make Pulgasari (socialist giant monster furry porn)

to his kidnapping and brainwashing of Japs in a plan to make them zombie spies infiltrating their home country (instead of just using spies), the world delights in his plucky antics. Kim was a cartoon super villain brought to life and in doing so made the world just that little bit more magical. It was a treasure to see him pwn millions. '''

Simply put, Kim did everything [[for the lulz]].

Oh and what happened to those Japs he kidnapped and sent to spy on Nippon? After they returned to Great Leader with the latest animu, they were welcomed with open arms. After years of international diplomacy, Kim gave in and agreed to send their ashes and those of Jap soldiers who fought on the side of South Korea during the Korean War back to their families.

Most of them.

New ugly capital buildings in Pyongyang

Instead of feeding his people the dictator instead decided to spend billions in developing new fake apartment complexes most likely empty shells which no one can afford to live in. They truly are ugly and gross looking. Don't worry [[The Donald]] will soon destroy them by Twatter.

Facts about the gross ugly looking new buildings

*They we're built by brainwashed slaves. Construction in North Korea is part of prison hard labor.

*No one can afford to live in them.

*For the amount the new buildings cost you could feed all of DPRK for an entire year.

*The whole world is laughing at the ugly design. LOL

Kim Jong-Il holding the World Ransom for 65 Trirron Durararu

Butthurt from their World Cup loss, North Korea resumed their business as usual. And by that, it means extorting money from the [[America|Western World]]. In rememberance of the 60th Anniversary of the Korean War, Kim Jong-Il thought it is about time for America to pay up...with interest...say

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to start with? (See: Austin Powers; Dr. Evil) According to [[Wikipedia]] and the [[CIA]], the world gross domestic product is only $61 Trillion and America has a GDP of about $14 Trillion. Upon hearing this demand, the world laughed at North Korea but the KCNA said they were [[Serious Business|serious]].
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Kim Jong-Un

.]]

Kim Jong-Il designated his youngest son Kim Jong-Un (also known as Rocketman) to be Paradise's next leader after the cancer ate what was left of him and 8 thousand whooping cranes delivered him to Valhalla. Un or the Dear General as he's known, had just turned 25 and was busily demonstrating his https://www.npr.org/transcripts/113583750?storyId=113583750" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Fireworks Enthusiasm at the time. Shortly afterward Kim Jong ILLness departed this life to enslave North Koreans in heaven. Un was immediately promoted to the rank of Kim Jong putting him in control of the entire country.

Kim Jong-Un wholeheartedly believes in carrying on his father's beloved legacy and inherited his small arsenal of nukes to aid him in this quest. He constantly threatens war with the USA over every slight insult. Some Conservative Extremists who can't understand [[Black_Jesus|Jesus']] doctrine of [[Afghanistan|peace]], would point out that having a spoiled teenager who likes fireworks having total control upon a country armed with nukes might render the West Coast in deeper shit than [[California|it already is]], but of course this is to be dismissed as the Right Wing Paranoia that it is.

Kim's hobbies include photoshopping images to pretend his army isn't totally tiny, hiding the fact that he can only afford one hovercraft. He also likes to say racist shit about Obama like calling him a "clown," a "dirty fellow," "does not even have the basic appearances of a human being," "a monkey in a tropical forest", and "a crossbreed with unclear blood" that "still has the figure of monkey while the human race has evolved through millions of years." His government has also said, "It would be perfect for Obama to live with a group of monkeys in the world's largest African natural zoo and lick the breadcrumbs thrown by spectators."

At one point Sony made a movie [[The Interview]] about assassinating him, an act which if someone made about assassinating the US, the USA would lose its shit like when [[JEWS DID WTC]], and so he sent hackers to scare Sony.

Struggle With Clash Oppressing Bullet the Power of The Leader

Not to be confused with [[Good Korea]] (or [[Gorea]] for short), Best Korea is a founding member of the [[Axis of Evil]] and currently the [[United States]]'s main acquisition target in east Asia. Best Korea is valuable in the United States' [[Manifest Destiny]] 21st century plan as it provides diversity to what would otherwise be an all-Muslim list of acquisition targets.

OK, [[Cuba]] isn't Muslim either, but it's really very small and most of the inhabitants already live in [[Florida]]. It's really just a rogue territory of the United States, anyway. Both Cuba and Best Korea are on the list of countries to [[rape|spread]] [[capitalism|democracy]] to.

On July 4, 2006, North Korea launched its taepodong ("tapered penis") missile, which immediately got [[pwned]]. The U.S. responded [[Serious Business|by taking North Korea off its MySpace friends list.]] Quoting an unnamed top-level official, "Man, not cool. I told him not to fire that shit, so why does he always gotta be such a drama whore?" In retaliation, the U.S. launched a giant fucking rocket into orbit, just to show who's boss.

On October 8, 2006 (in [[America]] time, not theirs), Best Korea reportedly conducted an underground nuclear test. Although the rest of the world had already [[defriend|unfriended]] Best Korea, [[China]] had not-but that changed in an instant. However, the poor saps in the UN fail to realize that Best Korea is a [[friends only]] country-meaning that, thanks to [[China]], the world has probably [[suicide|pwned itself]]. Way to go, commie bastards.

On May 25, 2009, North Korea announced that it had conducted a second nuclear test prompting outrage from countries all across the globe. The announcement came just after geological sensors in South Korea detected an artificial tremor. South Korea at the time was [[bawww|mourning]] some [[old_people|old guy]] who died, and thus was even moar [[butthurt]] than usual. According to the Russian Defence Department, the blast yield of the second bomb was between 10 and 20 kilotons, comparable to the size of the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of WWII with the added irony that Hiroshima is the closest Japanese City to North Korea's Nuclear Capable Missile launch sites. When asked for the rationale behind such a provocative gesture, Mr. Kim simply responded, "I [[did it for the lulz]]". Rumor has it that North Korea's Nuclear weapons testing is actually a highly advanced form of [[IRL]] [[trolling]].

After the Japan shit bricks and South Korea went into [[rage|RAGECON 2]] the Kim decided to take the IRL trolling to another level after Obama and the [UN] filled his mail box with moar [[pussy|letters of condemnation]], Crazy Kim decided to dig up the 56 year old Armistice that more or less ended the Korean War, and burned it in front of the world announcing "Do something about it, try and stop me, I'll set off one in Seoul or Tokyo because bitches dont know about my nukes" later added "We will wipe out one third of the Japanese population for the lulz".

This immediately caused the U.S. to go from [[Serious business|DEFCON 4]] straight to DEFCON 2, while the Pentagon started to take North Korea seriously as the glorious nation it is and draw up plans on having to deal with a third war, with Clinton and Obama saying they aren't to accept A north Korea with nukes. Meanwhile in Japan, the nips have gone into total rage mode and stated they want nukes too so they can just Nuke Pyongyang themselves instead of waiting around while the U.S. sits twiddling it's thumbs as Tokyo gets nuked. This is apparently preferable to relying on the U.S. who keep pussy footing around North Korea as the U.S. is all talk and no action. While all this was going on, Crazy Kim started to set up another Taepo-Dong 2 to test just to spit the UN, Japan, and the US's faces, and should launch by June 10th if everything goes well and North Korea hasn't levelled Seoul yet.

New news, Japan [[hurr|intelligence]] has found that the Dear Leader is planning to top off his recent [[lulz]]-spree by launching a 4000 mile range [[dong|missile]] at [[hawaii]], 4500 miles away... on the [[4th_of_July|FOURTH OF JULY]]. Everyone knows that nothing of value would be lost, but the idea of an attack on [[america|american]] soil is one that would cause the [[your_mom|middle-class whores]] of the states collectively shit their pants. This is clearly an attempt to break the all time [[IRL_troll|IRL Troll]] record, currently held by [[Adolf_Hitler|Hitler]] and his [[old|1940's]] attempt to cure the world of it's severe case of [[jews|jewdom]].

Unity and Mind the People's Love of Heart

This just in evil Korea killed a [[Gorean|good Korean]] and wounded several others with a [[Call of Duty|mortar strike gained by killing a good Korea boat]] a while back. Reports say it was done [[for the lulz]].

50 shells hit the island while most hit the water. the south then RAGED and fired 80 shells back.There have been 4 confirmed kills, 2 South Korean marines and [[LULZ|2 civilian casualties with 16 civilians wounded]]. 2 marines? No big deal that's only 100 minerals. Reports say that [[Kill it with fire|houses and mountains had caught fire]].

After news got around about the incident The north Koreans replied that [[NO U|The south fired at them first.]]
the UN and friends began to [[baw]] while the [[japs]] [[shit brix]] and [[Zerg Rush|began to prepare for any eventuality]].

Experts at the academy of political [[drama]] predict [[MOAR]] [[drama]] to develop in the coming days but will gradually begin to die down until the north gets bored and decides to [[troll]] the south some [[more]]. They predict this will happen some time during June-July 2011.

Arrest of two American Journalists

In the recent arrest of two Nitedstates journalists (azns), Current TV journalists Laura Ling and Korean-American Euna Lee decided to really fuck shit up on planet earth after crossing the DMZ to paridiso North Korea. North Korea's government, which is on the fucking edge of the edge, just found their awesome alibi to kill the shit out of a few tens of thousands of people. Great Job!

Luckily for the young journalists, [[Bill Clinton]] had [[Yellow Fever]] and decided to take a private pleasure trip to North Korea with the objective of freeing them from their forced labor to give him a double dose of hot azn poontang. All Slick Willy had to do was grease up Kim Jong Il's TAEPO-[[penis|DONG]], and they were all back on [[Al Gore]]'s jet fucking like bonobos before sundown.

[[Otto Warmbier]]

Not even important. He was a dirty [[Jew]] [[Americunt]] spy from [[Ohio]] who incompetently tried to bring down Best Korea for his evil [[CIA]] masters.

He was found guilty and punished by an impartial an fair jury according to criminal laws and procedures set forth by the UN.

Only after the [[liberal|bleeding heart]] intervention of [[Nigger|Dennis Rodman]] did Kim Jong-Un understand how weak [[Americunt]]s are and released [[Otto Warmbier]] out of sympathy for Otto's family.

You can read about [[Otto Warmbier]] [[Otto Warmbier|HERE]]

The Korean War Almost Resumes (Again)

It seems that recently, North Korea [[duh|might have been involved]] in http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8589507.stm" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the sinking of a South Korean ship, [[pwned|killing half of its over 100 crew members]]. South Korea says that they will [[asking for it|punish North Korea for this incident]], and North Korea says that if that happens, [[consequences will never be the same|it will mean war]].

Tensions are [[secks|mounting]] and technically [[OH SHI-|the Korean War never ended]]. Of course the South Korean army wouldn't be able to defend a sand castle, let alone all of South Korea, even though every citizen is required to serve for an amount of time. Eventually the [[US]] will have to intervene since there is [[Duke Nukem Forever|still unfinished business in Korea]].

Get ready to pack your shit out of the sand pit, asshole of the world Iraq, and come to the battlefield of North Korea, as that armistice is being thrown out the window. Who will win in this battle, will BEST KOREA's million man army topple the [[USA]]'s armed forces, or will Yoosa [[rape|wrestle]] North Korea into [[BDSM|submission]]? See it next time on [[Dragon Ball Z]] FUCKOO ZAT JAPANESU CURAPU!!!1111

World Festival of Youth

Glorious North Korea held the 13th World Festival of [[Loli|Youth]], which is pretty much a way for commie countries to exploit their citizens and encourage propaganda. The 1989 festival in Pyongyang was the largest to date, featuring citizens from 177 nations and about two million North Korean citizens pretending to be westernized and awesome.

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Capitalist Pig Monkey Lies of Western Gangster Shame

How to troll North Korea: You can't, North Korea has no Internets (

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,) unless you actually go there and try some [[IRL trolling]], provided you don't get shot along the way.
Ask them where to find Oldboy.

Actually, you can https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2011/1/8/n-korea-twitter-account-hacked" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">hack https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/8247833/North-Koreas-Twitter-account-hacked-to-call-for-uprising.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">their https://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-01-09/hackers-target-n-koreas-heir/1899046?section=justin" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">site. If you can't, just troll them on their official site. They try to [[Anti-lulz|censor everything]] posted on their site so try hiding your troll by writing the real message vertically. [[fact|It worked.]]

The [[Good Korea]] government actually opened up a contest for who troll the best. They are giving out https://gall.dcinside.com/board/view/?id=hit&no=10083&page=1" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">souvenir to anyone who participate.

World Cup Defeat

On June 21, 2010, [[Portugal]] had [[pwnt]] North Korea 7:0 in their World Cup match, thus [[banned|permabanning]] them from the competition.
The humiliation had caused great [[Butthurt|butthurt]] for Kim Jong-Il, who declared [[Jihad]] upon Portugal, and issued an order to behead all the north korean [[n00b]] players who made them [[Luser|the laughing stock of soccer fans worldwide]]. They were mostly [[Japan|Japanese]] and [[Good Korea|Good Korean]] players paid to play on the NK team. Even the people in the stands were paid actors from China.

The Korean Scrolls IV: America

Turns out that [[The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion|Oblivion]] must be popular. The government has released a propaganda video of burning soldiers and Obama, to the tune of everyone's [[shit|favorite]] game by Bethesda. Pure trolling at work.

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*

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Typical North Korean rocket launch

Facts

*That Kim Jong Il is fucking dead.

*That North Korea is actually run by Mr. Kim Il-sung, Jong-il's [[dead|deceased]] father, and the entire country still worships him like a God. When Kim Jong-il has to sign off on legislature, he has to sign it as Kim Il-sung. [[Crazy]] [[ass]] [[gook]]s. In fact, [[some argue]] Kim Il-sung, who [[almost raped|almost died]] due to his age and addiction to [[McDonalds]] was assassinated by his son, who succeeded the throne.

*That 95% of people diagnosed with pancreatic cancer do not survive? Ruh-Roh Kim.

*Kim was born in a log cabin on North Korea's Paektu and during the birthing he assisted his mother's midwife in the cutting of his own umbilical https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2011/dec/19/kim-jong-il-things-never-knew" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">cord.

*If a North Korean looks a foreigner in the eye, he/she will be kidnapped and tortured for life. This has proven difficult with [[Chinese]] tourists, since all azns rook arike.

*Though [[torture]] may be widespread in North Korea, it's carried out [[IDIFTL|only for the Lulz]]. Example:

Sadly, the North Koreans are so poor that when they are sent to camp all their meals are served cold because they can't afford to pay for the gas to turn on their ovens.

*North Koreans tell each other "Dearest Leader Facts", since "[[Chuck Norris]] Facts" are banned.

*http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim totally got 38 under par and five hole-in-ones in his first evar game of golf. (Chance: 1 in 1,250,000)

*http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8676678.stm" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim created nuclear fusion.

* Kim learned to drive when he was https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/kim-jongun-learned-to-drive-at-age-three-north-korean-children-to-be-taught-10165694.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">three

*https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2004-jun-26-fg-gourmet26-story.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim hires people to check his grains of rice are the same size.

*Kim is not fat, he's just big boned.

*https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/kim-jong-il-the-tyrant-with-a-passion-for-wine-women-and-the-bomb-421016.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim injects him self with whore blood to stay young

*

*Kim is allegedly good at basketball. At 5'3", we can see why.

*Kim has a 10 inch cock, although he hardly ever gets a chance to look at it because he never needs to https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2011/dec/19/kim-jong-il-things-never-knew" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">piss or shit

*The total ages of Kim's four ex wives is less than 10 years old

*North Korea has no internets but somehow, Kim has a

*Kim once executed a defence chief with an anti-aircraft gun, for the [[LULZ]] of course.

*That if you kill a North Korean, any North Korean, you will get 72 virgins in Heaven, even if you're a fucking Muslim, because God hates them that much - and even more, as manifested in their punishment of having Kim Jung Il.

*

*

.

Behold. The infamous vid-spot by Apple Inc., currently banned in the [[USA]] and [[Japan]] featuring the [[faggot|Dear Leader]]:

http://www.vidivodo.com/60513/banned-apple-tv-commercial" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">APPLE TV COMMERCIAL BANNED BY U.S. GOVERNMENT

2016 USA election response from Kim Jong-Un

I don't care who wins the election as long as they are nice to me.

North Korea bans you from using these user names

If caught using these user names you could face
life time hard labor in a North Korea Prison camp

Banned user names

Kim Fatty Fat Fat

Kim Fatty One

Kim Fatty Two

Kim Fatty the Third

Kim Half-Moon the Third

A search for ‘Kim Fatty the Third’ on Weibo currently tells users the results have been removed
“according to relevant laws and policies”.

Chinese news websites have also reportedly begun to delete users'
comments that include the nicknames on their platforms.

North Korean Internet

. Obviously DPRK uses a OS based on the communist Linux kernel with KDE]]

North Korean Hackers

Great Leader Kim Il-Sung predicted in 1960 that the internet would become a battleground to fight the imperialist American pigs, and thus instituted the [[CSIII|Mirim College]], where tens of thousands of North Koreans are trained in the art of network infiltration to disrupt South Korean bloggers. It is an established fact that students of this school are incapable of operating a microwave despite being able to write code in [[Assembly]]. Because North Korea only has one block of IPv4 addresses (175.45.176.0 – 175.45.179.255), they connect through China who are more than happy to take the blame for all their mischief.

When amazingly well-trained high technology wielding fans of Kim Jong-Un known as the [[GOP|Guardians of Peace or GoP]] heard that there was going to be a movie about Dear Leader they were happy... until they found out that movie was The Interview starring Seth Rogen. Instead of being majorly pissed that it was a Seth Rogen film (I mean, seriously- who watches that shit?) they instead got all [[butthurt]] that Dear Leader was being portrayed as Gasp! A NORMAL PERSON and not the god on earth he actually is! How Dare those horrible Americans besmirch the name of Dear Leader Jr by saying that he really does poop or pee and likes American pop music! On top of all of this audacity, the American swine even say how pathetic the North Korean armed forces are and that Dear Leader can be killed by bullets which is totally 100% American lies!

This resulted in the great 2014 Sony hacking that first leaked the film's contents, then tried to make Americans leak their pants by threatening [[9/11]] style terrorist bombings on every movie theater that dares to play The Interview. Of course everyone in the disgusting consumerist USA listens to the rattlings of a few people who can speak perfect Korean (and not so good English) and decided to never watch that film. Oh, wait- it was just Sony and a few scaredy-cat theater chains like Regal and AMC that decided that they shouldn't see it. Even [[Black Jesus|The president]] said that the movie shouldn't be pulled, but nobody listens to that guy am I right?

[[Anonymous]] threatened to pirate The Interview mercilessly. Random stupid Americans bawwed over not being able to watch the film they already bought tickets for. Most of the world [[Shit Nobody Cares About|Shrugged their shoulders and went on with their day]]. There was outrage: How dare they decide not to let stupid Americans pay money to see yet another poorly written comedy that's mostly dick, fart, and/or fat jokes especially when it has a very predictable plot, bad actors, and a really lame ending!

In the end the film was released on December 25th 2014 via Video on Demand across Youtube, Amazon, Xbox, and many other outlets. A few independent movie theaters decided to show The Interview even though Sony pulled the film, not believing that Glorious Best Korea could bomb every single one of them from Space! Well, the Americans were right. Everything was fine.

Final verdict? A 53% on Rotten Tomatoes for a "meh" movie and nothing actually blew up. How boring.

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|There's a whip-smart, pointed comedy in "The Interview." Unfortunately it's buried in there. Really deep.
| Colin Covert -

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