ChildLine

Happy phone is happy.

ChildLine is a [[British]] support line for [[13 year old boys|children]] who're getting [[raped]] or [[falcon punch|abused]]. It is also a rip-off of [[Chris Hansen|Dateline NBC]] except not as lulzy. Unless you really like prank phone calls or you [[retard|keep dialing the wrong number]], then you qualify for the 99.99% who actually call up because you're getting your ass kicked by mummy or daddy. Take note of the person on the other end sighing constantly, as it proves what many are thinking, [[Nobody Cares|NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]

It was founded before the internet by horse-toothed hellhag Dame Enid Rancid, host of [[BBC]] light entertainment spacktacular That's Life!, who nevertheless failed to spot http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218389/Esther-Rantzen-fears-Jimmy-Savile-sex-scandal-destroy-ChildLine-legacy.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the world's biggest pedo when he was right under her nose the whole time.

Ways to [[Troll|Help]] ChildLine

Don't worry, the sagely words of the [[Pedophile|many people

*Call up saying you're actually [[Madeleine McCann]]
*Claim you were raped repeatedly by [[Bubba]]
*Phone up saying you know your alphabet, starting with 'A is for Assrape', 'B is for Buttsex' etc.
*Ask if [[Condom|durex]] is better than [[Condom|Pasante]], then say that your Dad agrees
*Describe your 'ordeal' in way which is similar to the [[Holocaust]] and ask why your nose is so fucking big
*[[Oprah Winfrey|Email them saying you 'Do Not Forgive, Do Not Forget' and 'Have over 9000 penises']]
*Ask why daddy has started using the [[Banhammer|hammer]] instead of the belt
*Quote every jail scene from American History X
*Ask why niggers like KFC
*Ask where hitler sent the jews
*Ask the use of sex toys and where you can aquire them
*Go "urh-urh-urh-urh, now then, now then, guys and gals" until the operator cries

And [[At least 100|many, many other]] ways.

Videos

Chris Hansen is not pleased.

The shitty little advert involving a fucked up doll as a metaphor
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What happens if you tell anyone.
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What [[you]] should be doing...
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....and what your dad [[Goofy Time|will do]] if you don't.
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[[The Best]] And Harshest Reality

See Also

*[[Jimmy Savile|Sir Jim'll]]
*[[Child Abuse]]
*[[Chris Hansen]]
*[[Goofy Time]]
*[[Trolling IRL]]
*[[Lulz]]

External Links

*http://www.ChildLine.org.uk" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Their site. You know what to do.
*http://www.childlinerocks.co.uk/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Their fail of a concert to raise awareness of child abuse.
*http://www.charities.co.uk/childline-charity.php" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool charity bro.
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChildLine" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wikipedia thinks it knows childline.
*http://apps.facebook.com/childline/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ChildLine trying to appeal to a broad audience.

[[Category: Stub]]
[[Category: Drama-generating_techniques]]