Crap

This article is [[:Category:Crap|crap]]. You can help by [
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|action=edit] adding moar crap.].

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I approve of this article!

Crap has an active social life.

Dont take songs literally

Crap or "brown gold" can either be used literally when talking about fæces or figuratively to describe something as being of [[fucktard]] quality. [[Some_argue|Some argue]] that crap is [[M%C3%A4mmi|sexually arousing]], but they are [[Doing it wrong|mistaken]]. Crap also passes for any article found in [[Uncyclopedia]]. Not to be confused with [[crapp]].

Ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang

Libraries approve of shit

The word crap is the [[retarded]] sibling of [[shit]] which is much more offensive and entertaining. If wanting to [[pwn]] someone or incite [[funny]] [[internet drama]], thus increasing the lulz, don’t use this word, you’ll just make a [[dickhead]] of yourself.

Crap also plays an important part in [[teh]] [[English]] language. It can be used for damn near anything. Examples include, but are not limited to, teh following:

* Holy crap!
* Hey, you stepped in some crap.
* I ain't puttin' up with your crap.
* Bullcrap! (Used in objection.)
* This is a crap movie

Funny crap

Poop Back and Forth
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Scene from the movie: "Me and You and Everyone We Know", in this amazing scene a underage [[sea nigger]] meets a [[Cougar|older white female]] online and engages in cyber scat sex. The young [[sea nigger]] boy then meets the [[Cougar|older white female]] in a park an shares a kiss.

Uses

Tasteful cake decoration

Literal crap can be located in a toilet, up your nose or on [[your mother]]'s chest. It is made when your body rejects the disgusting junk you ate which probably includes [[cum]] as [[you]] are a filthy, dirty [[whore]]. It usually comes in solid form but is known to liquefy if your stomach has a moment of clarity where it realises just how pathetic a loser you are and decides to make you constantly shit yourself in front of everyone. It smells terrible so if you plan to put it in someone’s food you’ll need to disguise this.

The toilet is generally regarded as the best place to crap but other options include on a lawn, on a car, [[list of sex moves|in someone's mouth]], or [[Gaiaonline]]. These options are even more fun if you don’t have permission to do them but will need planning to avoid inevitable prison where you will be gang [[rape]]d by [[Bubba]], making [[Goatse]] look like a virgin.

It has been common knowledge that if you shove food [[in the ass|up your ass]] you will crap out your mouth. This is in fact a healthier crapping option and is recommended based on extensive research done on an episode of [[South Park]].

Revenge

"Man, this party sucks... I'll let 'em know how I feel with an Upper Decker."

The [[Upper Decker]]: The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew or a top tank clogged with a log. The [[Upper Decker]] is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it. Below are step by step instructions:

# Turn on the sink if possible to help mask the sounds of the dirty deed.
# Stealthily remove the lid from the back tank of the toilet.
# Stand on the toilet seat and steady your cheeks directly above the back tank.
# Begin defecating while trying to keep as quiet as possible.
# When finished wipe all remaining fecal spatter from your anus and hide the used toilet paper. Between the pages of a magazine or under the bathroom sink is a good hiding place. (or just leave it in the top tank.)
# Quietly replace the lid to the back tank of the toilet.
# Casually exit the bathroom and perhaps even the premises.
# ????.
# PROFIT
[[PROTIP]]: For extra points and many lulz, remove the chain from the flush handle so they have to reach into the shit-water to get the toilet to work.

Types of Crap

The [[England|English

are experts on Crap.]]

Excerpt from http://coloringwithnelson.blogspot.com/2006/05/my-studies-on-crap.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">My Studies on Crap.(Down)

"Hard Crap"

This is usually the first crap that comes out of your rectum. It is hard, yet supple, and has a nice texture and consistency. Unless you're constipated, this crap feels lovely when it slowly leaves your bowels. Usually, the color is a nice dark brown. And, if you haven't had enough fiber in the day, there should be some chunks of last night's tuna or cabbage floating around"—Coloring with Nelson

Floaters

[[X? In My Y?|Farts? In my shit?]]

HOLY SHIT! MOAR POOP!

Stolen from a website https://archive.fo/nIYqa" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">that refers to shit as "poop":

[Clean it up] [What is this shit?] 0

* GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet. aka the Brown October

* CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.

* SATISFYING Poop: The kind where once you're done, you feel as though you've lost fifty pounds. You leave with a sense of accomplishment.

* WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper
between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.

* DECEPTIVE Poop: The kind where you feel like you're about to shit a torpedo, but it turns out to be CORN poop.

* SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.

* POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

* LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

* GASSY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.

* BEERIOD Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

* CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)

* GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

* 'SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

* WET CHEEKS Poop: (Also known as "The Power Dump", or "The Cannonball"). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

* LIQUID Poop: The kind where [[Tubgirl|yellowish-brown liquid]] shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

* Pablo's Revenge: (Also known as "Mexicindigestion") You ate out at a Mexican restaurant and were [[An hero|an hero]] on the salsa. You may have gained the respect of your amigos, but there's a price to pay: an extremely unsatisfied feeling after pooping , and flaming butt cheeks for a day.

* UPPER-CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.

* THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...a sneaky Poop flies out.

* DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

* YOUTUBE Poop: [[Youtube Poop|Okay now...]]

The Many Colors of Crap

A New York Times Bestseller

Crap is usually a dark shade of brown. However, not unliek the [[Gay hanky code]], the same shit can come in many different colors:

Red: Too much beets. Or it could be the result of [[ass rape|surprise buttsecks]].

Orange: You're a druggie who steals [[Your mom|ur mom's]] meds.

Black: A lot of white girls have [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|something black]] in their arseholes. This is not unusual.

Blue-green: You've eaten food with too much food coloring, such as Fruit Gushers. Go ahead. Eat 3 bags and see what happens. Hint? [[Lulz]].

Green: You either drank a [[Mcdonalds|shamrock shake]] or ate [[faggot|Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berry]] cereal.

Greyish-Green: You have a cold. Not uncommom for babies. But it eventually gets [[awwright]]!

Yellow: You have a disease. You're going to inevitably [[shit]] yourself to death. It means you have [[Americunt|too much fat in your poop and you're not absorbing any nutrients]].

Purple: What the Fuck???

White: ~~[[Cum|That's not shit]], faggot~~. You can get white shit from eating sufficient amounts of white chocolate, it is literally the funniest shit you've ever seen. It could also mean she sucked your dick "till da shit turn white" ([[Rap|Colt 45]]). Or it could mean you have renal failure and need to get your ass to the emergency room NAO.

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Scat

[[ZOMG

I'd hit it!]]

I'm sorry, that's not okay

[[Your Mom|Cathy

, eating [[Copypasta|shit pasta]], made out of her [[What|husband's shit]].]]

The Scat fetish involves anything involving crap remotely sex related.

In the video below scat queen Veronica Moser discusses the German scat porn industry in vivid detail.
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Coprophilia: Eating [[crap]]. The main reason [[people]] do this is because they have [[autism]], or are in some way [[retarded]]. But this goes for the vast majority of people on the [[interbutts]].

[[:File:Shiteater.jpg|Human Toilet]]: As part of [[BDSM]] play. Basically you shit on them. [[Lies|They claim not to enjoy it]]. Types of shitplay include:

* [[Cleveland steamer]]: the person craps on another person's chest. So called because of the many [[niggers|shit-colored people]] that inhabit Cleveland.
* Dirty Sanchez: smearing crap underneath a person's nose to make it look liek a mustache.
* Chili Dog: shit on her chest, then fuck her shitty tits.
* Hot Carl: wrapping someone's face with Saran wrap and shitting on it, letting them feel the warmth.
* Rusty Trombone: fuck someone's ass, then they suck the chunks off your dick. Also know as a Fudgesicle if you do it when they have the runs.
* [[Brownpill|The Brownpill]]: A radical new paradigm.
* http://www.crapperie.com" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Go on. Click. You're a sick fuck and you want it.
* http://archive.fo/Y8i1v" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wife walks free after feeding husband feces-laced meal.
* http://women-shitting.net/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hot chicks do their best, it's unladylike.
* http://www.slutload.com/watch/zqixu7YrZyR/Scat-Slave-Shitting-Compilaten-dildofuck-and-smearing-with-mail-and-phone-number.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Online humiliation with scat
* http://www.slutload.com/u/scatcam/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Amateur webcam scat videos.
* [[Motherless]] is also overstocked with all the scat you could ever want.

Risks

It is possible to catch [[AIDS]] from shitplay if teh [[cock]] is yanked out of the asshole and inserted into the mouth without washing. This explains why so many [[fags]] have [[AIDS]].

Crap as a Drug

Discovered in [[Africa]] there is a new drug on the streets that is made from fermented sewage called [[Jenkem]]. Jenkem is huffed giving you an intense high and hallucinations. Used by [[poor]] people and [[totse]] members.

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Variations of Crap

[[At least 100

percent of people who fap to this shit are [[sick fuck|sick fucks]]. Holy crap! Where is [[Blockatiel]] when you need him?!]]

* [[Answerbag]]
* Crapola
* Craptacular
* Craptastic
* Crapunzel
* [[0 pedophiles|Crap-O-Rama]]
* [[MCR]]
* IBS
* http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302024065&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442133526" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">C+Rap
* [[Rap]]
* [[Poop]]
* [[Google]] Chrome
* [[Steve Jobs]]

Other Noteworthy Crap

* [[Politics]] Crap ([[Liberal]] and [[Conservative]])
* [[Evolution]] Crap
* [[Homophobic]] Crap

Buttsecks Fail

The following is a story about failed buttsecks. It's pretty goddamn funny, but very gross. Then again, what on this page isn't?

X-frZIY8LYY

Gallery of Crap

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External Links

* http://www.antiupperdeck.com" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Fight upperdecking!
* http://discharges.org/h/0205" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Crap Information (Down)
* http://motherless.com/18689FA" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Dorian Thorn grows a brown tail
* https://archive.fo/nIYqa" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Includes a handy guide on how to take a dump at work
* http://www.ratemypoo.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">rate my poo
* http://www.poopreport.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Poop War Stories
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRLYOGZRU2Q" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">John Larkin singing about his like for scat and how it changed his life
* http://www.poopsenders.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Send a gift to your girlfriend

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]]|[[Nigger manual]]}}

[[Category:Wikis Suck]]
[[Category:Sex]]

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