Disease

[[File:Sickassfuck.jpg|frame|center|A wax nose, a pair of sunglasses, and a santa beard: then the little fella's ready to hit the town![http://meme.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=1759] ]]

Disease is, per the http://www.dictionary.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">intarweb dicshunary: A pathological condition of a body part, an organ, or a system resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms. But really, what is disease? Why, is it one of the few sources of [[attention]] and pity in the quantities needed by [[attention whores]] to live. As a result of this, both [[IRL]] and [[internet]] attention whores are prone to feigning illness. Especially pretending to have illnesses and diseases that people around them have.

Thought Process

They see that their diseased friends get a lot of attention and pity, and when most of their self-loathing entries and threats of [[suicide]] start to get a response of [[TL;DR]], they are prone to coming up with some disease, again commonly one someone on their friends list has (the really [[insane]] ones will all of a sudden claim to have multiple, conflicting diseases at the same time), and claiming that they have it. This will go on for several days.

The Lie Grows

Eventually they may claim to have seen a doctor who "informed" them that they had exactly what they'd been saying they had. They will act shocked and surprised. If this fails, they may escalate to [[self injury]] and more realistic threats of [[suicide]]. Sometimes, if you're really lucky, they actually mean it. If you're even luckier, there won't be any dipshits with [[stalker|internet crushes]] on them who feel the urge to reply to every one of their entries.

Around this period, expect friends of the disease [[whore]] in question to have conversations that consist of statements such as:

* Her delusions are beginning to become the stuff of comedy [[gold]].
* This is the worst performance of [[Multiple_personality_disorder|MPD]] I've seen since Sybil.

The Symptoms of a Disease

* Foul smelling blood
* Tight throat
* Double vision
* Skin falling off
* A persistent cough
* Manic depression
* Calcification of the extremities
* Aversion to paper
* Multicystic Retroperitonial Sacrococcygeous Embryo-Teratoma
* Steven Spielberg

And Fades Away

Especially in the case of made-up diseases, [[Attention Whore|attention whores]] tend to forget the lies they were telling for attention. A disease requires lots of [[Google]] to keep up with answering questions people may have, that's a lot of work. Invariably, though, there are enablers. Be prepared for fun and excitement!

Common [[Disorders|Diseases to Pretend to Have]]

Missing Penis Syndrome

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Otherwise known as being a woman.

* [[Asperger's Syndrome]]
* [[Bipolar]]
* [[Multiple Personality Disorder]]
* [[Dyslexia]]
* [[Attention Deficit Disorder]]
* [[Fibromyalgia]]
* [[Homosexuality]]
* [[Love Shy]]

Common Diseases to Actually Have

* [[Genital Herpes]]
* [[Internet disease]]
* [[AIDS]]
* [[GRIDS]]
* [[Skullworm]]s
* [[Parkinson's]]
* [[Diabetes]]
* [[Jews]]
* [[Woman]]
* [[Killer Titties]]
* [[You]]

See Also

* [[Disorder]]
* [[Fiero425]]

External Links

* http://verysick.me" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instructional materials
* http://www.asylumeclectica.com/asylum/malady/index.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Æcademic lectures