Epic Games

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Epic Games, formerly known as Potomac Computer Systems and Epic MegaGames, was a video games company that became famous for producing once successful titles such as the [[Unreal Tournament]] and [[Gears of War]] game series but has since evolved into a subsidiary of [[Tencent]] that solely exists to [[Butthurt|sue other companies that are more profitable than them]], disrupt the natural flow of open markets by making multi-platform games exclusive to their barely functional games store and [[Money|buying up]] every competitor that might pose a threat to them and to brainwash [[12-year-old|children]] with their 24/7 advertising platform known as [[Fortnite|Fraudnight]].

The company was founded by [[Retard|Tim Sweeney]] after he dropped out of [[college]] as he realized a degree [[Moron|would of]] led to him having a long and fulfilling life and so he instead moved back into his parent's [[basement dweller|basement]] to make and sell terrible [[vidya games]]. After hitting gold with the game [[Unreal Tournament|Unreal]] in [[1990s|1998]], the company then specialized in [[Copypasta|selling the same game over and over again]] before adopting the model of [[Original character|blatantly stealing ideas from other titles]] to include in their own.

After the multi-billion dollar success of Foreskin, the company ceased development on all other titles that were in the works at the time to concentrate on milking more money out of little kids with Abortnite. A [[Old|new Unreal Tournament game]], which was supposed to be [[You|built with the help of community contributors]], was canceled in July [[2017]]. A shitty Smite / [[Dota]] MOBA rip-off game called Paragon was [[nuke]]d in April the following year.

In December of [[2018]], the Fortnite Game Launcher was officially rebranded as the Epic Games Store, opening a can of delicious [[drama]] for years to come.
__TOC__

The Epic Games Store

, Epic [[Fail|increased their store revenue by 2.94%]] while users hoarding their free games [[Lol|increased by 370%]].]]
times a week.]]
yet?]]

The Epic Games Store, also known as the Fortnite Launcher and https://twitter.com/TimSweeneyEpic/status/1168289918667198464" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Just Another Desktop Icon, was first conceived by Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney in 2014 while shitting out a massive, spicy burrito as a simple launcher to launch their first-party games. After leaving the PC gaming business during their [[Gears of War]] era on the [[Xbox]] as it was https://www.neowin.net/news/pc-piracy-drove-us-to-consoles-says-epic-games/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">unprofitable and full of pirates, Tim Sweeney visited [[Gabe Newell]] to smell and take a bath in his gargantuan amount of cash. This gave him the idea to open up the platform to third-party developers in late 2018 to make even more [[jewgold]] than Lord Gabe.

After the store was launched [[You|people]] immediately noticed the lack of many [[Today|modern]] features like [[Victory|achievements]], [[Heaven|cloud saves]], [[forum]]s or even a frigging [[Meme|shopping cart]] (which is [[What|still not implemented in 2021]]). To ensure customers that they were still working on the platform Epic Games created a roadmap on [[Troll|Trello]] in which they showed their goals for the next 6 months and beyond. After failing https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckepic/comments/bt5ap8/looks_like_epic_is_going_to_miss_their_deadline/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">again and https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckepic/comments/bvfebj/cloud_saves_has_been_delayed_the_3rd_time_by_now/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">again to implement even the simplest of features Epic Games https://www.epicgames.com/store/en-US/news/trello-revamp-tracking-features" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">eventually stopped using the roadmap altogether despite still directly [[Fail|linking to it on their store page]]. To get around the problem of having no dedicated forums Epic Games suggested using their newly created sub[[reddit]]

for help and support. However, any https://i.redd.it/8peanv7x9rc41.png" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">legitimate criticism gets immediately labeled as a troll post and gets removed while general support questions were forbidden to be posted as of https://www.reddit.com/r/EpicGamesPC/comments/ofjil2/when_i_log_into_my_account_is_says_this_account/h4dmonj/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">June 2020 to keep the public perception that [[Bullshit|there's nothing wrong with the EGS]]. Despite all of this, [[fuckwit]] sellout developers stormed out of the gates https://www.dualshockers.com/epic-games-store-benefits-players-paradox-interactive/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">to claim the Epic Games Store will benefit both players and publishers, even though the PC landscape was already filled with [[at least 100]] other game storefronts and launchers.

In January [[2019]] Epic secured one of their first big EGS exclusive games, [[Russia|Metro Exodus]]. Announced only 2 weeks before its intended release on [[Steam]], the reason given for the deal was that "it allows to invest more into the [[Garbage|Metro franchise]]". After the game was released players noticed what a https://steamcommunity.com/app/412020/discussions/0/3658515990049864203/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">broken, buggy, unstable piece of shit the game was, cementing the fact early on that games that take Epic's bribe money are usually unfinished bags of garbage that the developers had no faith in to begin with to release on other, more popular storefronts where they would have been review bombed to hell and back while [[Jew|still earning some money for their sloppy work]]. The game was also released on Microsoft's [[Xbox|Xbox Game Pass]], proving that Epic "exclusive" deals are really [[Cockblock|"Just-Not-On-Steam"]] deals. One of Epic's latest big exclusives it secured was the [[Kingdom Hearts]] series [[Nobody cares|coming to PC for the first time]]. In line with Epic's goal to benefit players publishers, the entire collection was priced at [[Capitalism|$230]], while the [[Playstation|PS4]] version could still be [[LOL|bought for about $30 on Amazon]]. At release, the offer was then https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/30/kingdom-hearts-series-out-on-pc-and-already-discounted-14331430/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">quickly discounted day-1 when [[Epic Fail|Epic noticed that nobody had pre-ordered the weeb shit collection in the first place]].

In May 2019 Epic held its first EPIC [[Garbage|MEGA]] SUMMER SALE. However, to stay true to their [[Epic Fail|company name]], the sale didn't go without major fuck ups from Epic's side. As Epic has shown that it wants control over everything that exists on the planet [[earth]], they reduced the price of their then major exclusive title [[Borderlands]] 3 without informing anyone at Gearbox Software or 2K Publishing. This prompted https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2019-05-18-borderlands-3-pre-order-pulled-from-epic-games-store-amid-mega-sale-kerfuffle" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2K to pull the game from the store altogether. But not only publishers were buttfucked by the sale: One player https://www.gamereactor.eu/epic-games-store-user-banned-for-buying-too-many-games/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">was banned because he had bought too many games during the [[ALL CAPS|MEGA FAIL SALE]], which Epic responded to by saying his [[Retard|buying behavior]] triggered their anti-fraud protection but [[Fucktards|still didn't unban said player]]. [[Irony|A shopping cart would have been nice to have in this case]], eh Epic?

But if you thought a barely-functional store, crappy overpriced exclusives, a mentally challenged CEO, and shitty sales weren't lulzy enough then fret not, as Epic also has constant data breaches to keep you invested in their ecosystem metaverse, that is if https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckepic/comments/brfexm/they_literately_sent_my_personal_info_to_a_random/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">they don't send your data to unknown individuals themselves. In late 2018 the first breach occurred, exposing the personal data https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fortnite-security-flaw-exposed-millions-of-users-to-being-hacked/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">of over 200 million Fucknut players. Just 2 years later, https://www.dbltap.com/posts/epic-games-dismisses-rumors-about-account-security-01ewnh0e920f" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">another possible breach happened that Epic was quick to [[Damage control|debunk]]. And, because Epic is useless as fuck, https://www.gamepressure.com/newsroom/reports-suggest-giant-leak-of-epic-games-user-data/z03238" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">yet another breach happened just a few months later, this time exposing the data of over [[Losers|106 million users]] while Epic blamed [[Norton]] instead of themselves as they usually do.

As of late, Epic has changed course however as they saw that buying up games to hold for ransom wouldn't get them to their goal of controlling everything in the industry fast enough. So instead they have decided to follow the example of their [[Tencent|Chinese overlords]] and throw even more of their [[Fortnite|Courtfight]] money around, this time to buy up every small and major game and technology software company and developer on the planet. These currently include:
*Rocket League developer Psyonix (this resulted in the game going [[Cancer|free-to-play]], which allows smurfs and cheaters to easily create sock accounts by the thousands while the previously existing trading community got buckfucked in the ass as the store was replaced by a [[Copy and paste|copy-paste]] version of the Forknife store with item prices increasing 10 times their original value and an Epic Games account now being mandatory on all platforms; truly a benefit for all players)
*3D model and asset sharing platform [[Fap|Sketchfab]]
*Portfolio website [[deviantArt|ArtStation]]
*Photogrammetry developer Capturing Reality
*[[Old|RAD Game Tools and Bink Video]]
*[[Fall Guys]] developer Mediatonic
*[[Star Wars|Hyprspace]], developers of facial animation and motion capture software
*[[Awesome|SuperAwesome]], a UK-based firm that specializes in developing [[Pedophiles|"kid-friendly technology"]]
*[[Guitar Hero]] developer Harmonix, to create [[Cringe|"musical journeys and gameplay for Fortnite"]].
*Collaboration with the Tribeca Film Festival to increase usage of Unreal in independent [[Hollywood|film]] productions

So while you might see the Epic logo and [[Gollum|Tim Sweeney]]'s deformed mug on [[Monopoly|everything you buy in the future]] while claiming other companies to be monopolies, it's good to know that Epic is at least https://www.reddit.com/r/FortniteCompetitive/comments/bz34xj/epic_gamesfortnite_is_not_paying_their/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">too cheap to pay their competitive tournament players while spending their cash on all this useless crap.

Epic Games Store sponsor of the PC Gaming Show

In a desperate attempt to stay relevant, Epic Games decided to sponsor the already shitty [[Brainwash|PC Gaming Show]]. The event mostly consists of developers shilling for their new, money-barfing overlords with lots of [[cringe]] moments sprinkled throughout and terrible game showcases despite Epic's claims of https://i.imgur.com/pc3JeKa.png" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">focusing on curated, great games. Viewer discretion is advised.

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Tim Sweeney

Tim Sweeney, also known in anti-Epic circles as Tim Swiney or Timmy Tencent, is the [[Captain Obvious|virgin]] CEO of Epic Games who's living alone in his mansion in Cary, [[North Carolina]]. He can usually be found in his [[Twitter|natural habitat]] making up statements about 'evil' companies trying to monopolize the video gaming landscape while simultaneously [[BAWWW|whining about how his own company doesn't make as much money as others]] and [[Hypocrite|buying smaller companies to monopolize the industry for himself]].

Previously he also regularly stalked the anti-Epic subreddit [[Cancer|r/fuckepic]] until he [[Delete fucking everything|deleted his account]], https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckepic/comments/htsxks/tim_sweeney_monsters_himself_with_hypocrisy_after/fyix4vh/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">making a fool of himself and getting smacked in the face by common sense and logic whenever he posted a comment there.

[Gallery content]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRGUKMKadJ8

Tim Sweeney the hypocrite

Epic VS The World

By [[2021]] Sweeney had accumulated enough money https://www.ladbible.com/news/uk-boy-spends-over-1000-of-mums-money-on-fortnite-20180902" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">stolen from unsuspecting parent's credit cards that he decided it was finally time to swing his [[Micropenis|tiny dick]] around by deliberately breaking [[Apple]]'s and [[Google]]'s app store [[Policy|policies]] in an attempt to scam even more money out of his [[Loli|underage]] player base. By [[Obvious troll is obvious|secretly]] adding new payment options into the mobile version of Fartcunt to circumvent both stores [[Devil|evil]] 70/30 revenue split that just wouldn't embrace Epic's [[shit|far superior]] and [[Lie|sustainable]] [[Hitler|88]]/12 splits, Epic prompted both companies to be butthurt enough to [[And nothing of value was lost|remove the game from both stores]]. In an [[obvious|unexpected]] twist, Tim Sweeney immediately launched a campaign called [[1984|Nineteen Eighty-Fortnite]] that parodies an ad Apple did in the past except with far more cringe included.

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Keep a bottle of [[bleach]] nearby.

It was later https://www.macrumors.com/2021/04/08/epic-games-apple-conclusions-of-law/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">revealed that [[Cunts|the propagandist stunt was already being planned long before Epic had broken the store rules]].

On the 3rd of May, the trial against Apple started. [[Lulz]] immediately ensued when the court had trouble setting up the public live call and hundreds of Sweeney's brainwashed, prepubescent sheeple spammed the call shouting "Free Fortnite" and "Bring back mobile".

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Manbabies start at 5:08

As the trial went on, more and more [[Truth|information]] was released to the public over several days that showed just what [[An hero|a shit stain Epic Games and their store truly are]] despite all of Tim Sweeney's Twitter rants claiming the opposite:

[Gallery content]

In a surprise to absolutely no one, the court ruled massively in favor of Apple while Sweeney went on to spout more nonsense in his Twitter bubble. He is now [[BAWWW|appealing]] https://9to5mac.com/2021/09/10/epic-games-to-appeal-decision-in-apple-lawsuit-as-apple-calls-it-a-huge-win/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the verdict while also starting cases https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/09/epic_vs_apple_in_australia/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">in other countries until he finally finds people dumb enough to agree with his untrustworthy ass.

A lawsuit against [[Google]] is https://www.theverge.com/2021/7/22/22583467/epic-fortnite-google-play-store-lawsuit-amended-complaint-filed" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">already in the works as well to provide even more lulz for your [[fetish|evening pleasure]]. And if you can't wait for even more trials to start then Epic has got you covered with these past delicious lawsuits as well:

*Epic Games sues AR company Nreal [[WTF|for sounding too much like ‘Unreal’]] https://www.theverge.com/2021/5/17/22440131/epic-nreal-ar-glasses-unreal-engine-trademark-lawsuit" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(1)
*Fortnite developers are suing a [[12 year old|14-year-old]] player for [[Hax|cheating]] https://www.joe.co.uk/gaming/fortnite-developers-are-suing-a-14-year-old-player-for-cheating-175519" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(2)
*Epic sues [[Dance|Dancing Pumpkin Man]] over Fortnite emote cease-and-desist letter https://www.pcgamer.com/epic-sues-dancing-pumpkin-man-over-fortnite-emote-cease-and-desist-letter/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(3)
*Apple’s win in Blix (Epic's partner in crime to sue anyone around them) case comes weeks before Epic decision https://www.marketwatch.com/story/apples-win-in-blix-case-comes-weeks-before-epic-decision-11626123377" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(4)
*Epic Games Sued For Allegedly [[Hypocrite|Using Patented Communication Tech For Fortnite]] https://segmentnext.com/2021/06/27/epic-games-sued-communication-fortnite/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(5)

Videos

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See Also

*[[Fortnite]]
*[[Gears of War]]
*[[Unreal Tournament]]
*[[Duty Calls]]
*[[Steam]]
*[[Valve]]

External Links

* https://www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/home" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Official web page
* https://www.epicgames.com/store/en-US/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Epic Games Store
* r/fuckepic on Reddit, the main sanctuary for all anti-Epic discussion and Sweeney's jack-off material
* A subreddit dedicated to collect every bullshit contradiction made by Tim Sweeney
* Official Epic Games subreddit. Don't bother posting support questions or else https://www.reddit.com/r/EpicGamesPC/comments/ofjil2/when_i_log_into_my_account_is_says_this_account/h4dmonj/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">you will be labeled as a troll and told to fuck off.
*