Food

atozoa: recommended by the U.S. Surgeon General's office.]]

Food is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is [[America]]'s favorite pastime as it gives [[fat]] people their blubber. Enemy of [[16 year old girls]] and [[Breatharian|breatharians]] alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die. Some people eat [[Fat|too much]], others [[Pro-Ana|not enough]], regardless, all food eventually becomes [[poop]].

History

Once upon a time, food was healthy. People blissfully ate burgers and steak, and followed it up with deep-fried lard for dessert. Then, in 1972, [[scientist]]s screwed everything up by reporting that unless you want to spend your thirty-fifth birthday [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|clutching your chest]] and turning [[Avatar (movie)|blue]], you better live on [[Vegan|tofu]] and wheatgrass juice. The [[Fat|American]] populace responded by giving the [[scientist]]s the finger and becoming the most obese nation on Earth.

On the internet

Because most internet-users are fat pieces of shit who can't look at [[porn]] while in work/school, thousands of [[website]]s, [[blog]]s and [[forum]]s exist for the purpose of discussing food.

* http://www.peta.org/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PETA Suggests people subsist on their own secretions. Staffed entirely by [[furries]], they are constantly monitored by the [[FBI]] who suspects them of plotting violent assault on [[hamster]] ranchers.

* http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Alcoholics Anonymous Falsely claims that it is impossible to survive on malt whiskey and [[beer]], something the [[Irish]] disprove every day.

* http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20011004_c.jhtml" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Oprah's Hit List of Pro-anorexia sites Sites that angered [[Oprah]] by announcing all food is the work of the [[devil]]. Sites contain helpful tips on sport vomiting, passing out, and calorie counts for oxygen. Oprah suggests we [[strike]] back by eating those with [[anorexia]].

* http://www.atkins.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Atkins Center Caused great rejoicing among all peoples when it announced the healthiest diet was twelve pounds of beef a day but no toast.

* http://www.atkinsdietalert.org/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine Jealous quack killjoys who say Atkins is a [[liar]] and that we should take out big fat life insurance policies on our loved ones if they are on his diet.

JewTubes

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Kimberly Champion from Portland, OR is a champion of cakefarts

Galleries

[[Meat]]

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Candy And Sweets

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[[Fruit]]s and [[Vegan|Vegetables]]

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Classic Cooking

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Other Food

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[[Cereal]]
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File:Pancake turntable.gif|This woman went on to invent mixing decks.
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Where To Obtain Food

* [[Burger King]]
* [[KFC]] – if you're a nigger.
* [[Kitchen]] – if you still reside with [[your mom]], you pathetic fuck.
* [[McDonald's]] – if you're a [[fat|ty]]
* [[Taco Bell]] – if you're a [[basement dweller]].
* [[Subway]] – if you're an overly effeminent pedophilic [[faggot]] named [[Jared Fogle|Jared]].

See Also

*[[BBQ Pit Boys]]
*[[ck/|/ck/]]
*[[Eating disorder]]
*[[Food Pyramid]]
*[[Food Not Bombs]]
*[[Fat]]
*[[Fauxlimia]]
*[[Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears]]
*[[Pro-Ana]]

[[Category:Food and Drink| ]]