Health Care Rage

:For a similar article written by [[ODB|a grumpy British man]] who [[liberal|hates America]], see [[Obamacare]].
The [[old media]] has the distinct disadvantage of being pasteurized of any sort of anger at all when it comes to reporting news on the recent health care bill’s passage. Sure, you can turn on buffoons like [[Sean Hannity|Hannity]], [[Glenn Beck|Beck]], and [[Billo The Clown|O’Reilly]] and listen to them cry out words like “Authoritarianism” and “Tyranny,” but you just cannot get the full spectrum of fury that the ever-changing internet displays. Comments on news articles, forum rants, and blogs demonstrate, in a grand manner, the ability of common idiots to jump to the next level of absurdly moronic behavior.

And it isn’t just the right-wing mouth-breathers who are in on this gig. Liberal [[Hippy|hippies]], long known for their horrendously loud mouths, have added to the online cacophony, ramping up the vitriol to never before seen levels of acrimony. These internet tantrums, akin to the phenomena of being a sore winner, are dripping with smarmy jabs and ad hominem attacks that, when observed by those on the right, incite even further spasms of spittle flinging ire.

This vicious circle, made of [[conservative]] punch and [[liberal]] counter-punch, is what makes Health Care Rage so full of absurdity, but the best part, by far, is that the debate is only beginning, and it has already spilled into [[IRL]].

Because of conservative [[lawlsuits]] and other meddling, we can expect another three years (at least) of this sort of [[lulz]].

History

By now you probably know more about health care reform than you ever thought you would have to know or ever wanted to know. If you do not, the events of March, 2010 have probably brought you up to speed quite quickly. In a nutshell, the [[Obama]] administration had the desire to pass a bill into law that would reform how health care, insurance companies, and small business owners would be dealt with in the future. Obama cited several reasons for this, including:

*helping the [[Homeless|needy]] (see also: NIGGERS)

*driving down existing health care costs (while also driving up [[taxes]] and killing small businesses)( While also counter acting that by making it so small business's don't have to provide health care to employees)

*ensuring that health care [[Taxes|stays affordable]] in the future (sticking your children with ballooning payments into an untested void that no one is sure will work)

What President Obama didn’t realize at the time was that roughly 50% of the American population didn’t want to fix health care and the above cited reasons were a bunch of crap. The other 50% who supported the bill did so out some feeling of remorse over how the health care industry has treated poor, disadvantaged folks and also because they believed it was high time for this reform to be made. Obama himself had ulterior motives, namely his presidential legacy…even though he already has that sewn up because he’s black. But, remember kids, all statistics are made up on the spot.

In any event, the bill was voted on and passed. Conservatives cited that the move to vote on the bill in the house was unconstitutional and therefore illegal. Liberals cited the never-ending republican filibuster was an extreme measure that needed to be circumvented so that real change could be made for the betterment of the American people. What everybody cited was the fact that nobody had read the bill all the way through and that it was fully understood by nobody. This intricate lack of understanding has prompted rage from both sides of congress as well. Republicans argue that it is packed full of pork and [[communism]], liberals claim that the bill needed to be passed to be fully understood. This was illustrated best by Speaker of the House [[Nancy Pelosi]] stating “[[Liberal Butthurt Syndrome|We have to pass this bill to see what it contains]].”

2012

On [[srsly|Thursday]], June 28, 2012, the Supreme Court upheld the reforms signed into law by Black Jesus in 2010. This caused massive asspain to the right, many of whom http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">plan to [[doing it wrong|move to Canada]], because they don't have Nationalized Healthcare there. Oh, wait... they do.

Cast of Characters

To gain a better understanding of the whole mess…and to figure out who people are talking about, it is best to introduce a limited dramatis persona so that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] readers can fully understand who they are reading about.

[[Barack Obama]]

Elected as part of the [[Black Jesus|liberal backlash]] against [[George Bush]], Obama promised “Change!” as his election platform. Nobody knew where this change might be coming from, and nobody knew which direction it was headed, but whatever the case, it landed firmly on health care reform. Liberals think he is the messiah and conservatives think he is either the second coming of [[Lenin]], [[Hitler]] or the [[Satan|Anti-Christ]], they can’t seem to make up their minds.

The [[Tea Party]]

Obama’s main opponent in all of this mess. Tea Party members claim to be the voice of America’s John Q. Public, but more often than not they end up looking like rich greedy ungrateful assholes, or the brainless redneck sheep whos 50+ hours a week of labor keep aforementioned assholes undeservedly spoiled. Originally founded by [[Fox News]] shortly after Obama’s election, Tea Party members want to convey a conservative agenda in difference to moderate reform, but since they denounce every word that comes out of a democrats mouth, they usually appear to be toting some party line.

On the day of the actual vote, Tea Party protesters in Washington were accused of hurling such insults as “[[NIGGER]]” and “[[FAGGOT]]” at House members as they entered the capital building. Since no [[youtube]] video files of this exist, it can be speculated that this name-calling was just fiction drummed up by democratic supporters of the bill.

[[Nancy Pelosi]]

Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives and as such, she is second in line to the Presidency behind [[Joe Biden]] if somebody decides to shoot Obama. Conservatives view her as a shrill harpy of a woman who is incapable of opening her mouth without lying. Liberals view her as the living combination of Mother Teresa and [[Santa Claus]]…who brings gifts of good will, Medicare and Medicaid benefits, charity, and welfare to all the good little minority boys and girls.

[[Law|Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act]]

Public Law 111-148 was passed by congress on March 23, 2010 by a 219-212 vote. Democrats mostly voted along their party line, with a noticeably small amount of dissenters (39). Republicans voted in lockstep as well, with every last one of them voting against the bill. It was not enough and the bill was passed as a law on March 25, 2010 along with some reforms tossed in called the “Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010.”

Republicans say that the bill (now a law for the time being) is packed full of all sorts of communistic bullshit and as many as 38 state attorneys general began preparing lawsuits to block the law at the states level. This is where the real hate begins to stir. Despite the fact that Obama, for much of his early presidency, had a supermajority, he was unable to pass the bill in the Senate. With the death of Senator Teddy Kennedy, he lost his supermajority and was now vulnerable to a Senate Fillibuster…which is basically people getting and keeping the floor of the House by talking gibberish. The only way to pass the bill was to go around the congress and push a vote via the “Slaughter Rule” which is an unconstitutional way to just pass a bill without a vote because an already similar bill had been voted on and passed.

Democrats say that the law (the lawsuits don’t exist yet) is for the good of the people whether they want it or not. They cite the massive rise in healthcare costs and say that their constituents are sick of being pushed around by republican fat cats…and they just aren’t going to take it anymore. Also, they feel that the models of Canada and Europe should be emulated, [[truth|because free healthcare works so well in those communities.]]

Minor Characters

c8otX2ZdT6Y
I'm not sure you want to watch pundits like Imus discussing this.


*[[Rush Limbaugh]]. A political windbag who says that healthcare reform is the first massive step towards socialism and (gasp) communism.
*[[Glenn Beck]]. Another pundit who can’t keep his mouth shut about the illegalness of the healthcare reform bill. He claims that this is the end of the world and that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. Raped and murdered a young girl In 1990.
*[[Daily Kos|Harry Reid]]. Democratic Senator of Nevada. He is pro-life yet supported the healthcare bill despite the fact that it would pay for abortions with tax money.
*[[Abortion|Stupak-Pitts Amendment]]. An amendment that removed free abortions from the healthcare reform bill. While the language of the Stupak-Pitts Amendment was left out of the actual healthcare reform law, it was added by Obama via Executive Order 13535. This was a case of cutting off something that was wanted…because nobody in their right minds would actually vote FOR free, abortions paid for with tax dollars.
*[[Democracy|November 2, 2010 Midterm election day in the United States]]. On this Tuesday, all 435 seats in the United States House of Representatives and 36 of the 100 seats in the United States Senate will be contested in this election along with 38 state and territorial governorships, many state legislatures, four territorial legislatures and numerous state and local races. Because of this, many political pundits believe that the healthcare reform bill passing will make this election day one of extreme anger and extreme right-wing victories.

Final Boss

After many days of chronic back pain and spending his days fapping to Breloom in his mom's basement, a man named [[Luigi Mangione]] decided to take matters into his own hands and shot the CEO of [[Jews|United Healthcare]], causing international levels of butthurt amongst rich fuckwads everywhere.

Let the Rage Begin

Now that all of the history and players are set, it is now time to display what has gone on so far on the internet.

Republican Rage

Template: frameView/Edit

Template: frame
This template inserts specific content or formatting. View template page for more details.

|border=#EE6363|background=#ffffff}}

Democrat Rage

Template: frameView/Edit

Template: frame
This template inserts specific content or formatting. View template page for more details.

|border=#3299CC|background=#ffffff}}

Video

Don't lose your mind, there are videos for both Liberal rage and Republican rage, just scroll through.

Template: fvView/Edit

Template: fv
This template inserts specific content or formatting. View template page for more details.

The view from Britain

:See also: [[Obamacare]]
In the UK's [[red|National Health Service]], [[heart]] attack victims have to queue for three days in the corridor before being given a second hand aspirin pumped from the stomach of a failed [[suicide]], and then are usually misdiagnosed and have their leg cut off or something by an [[Azn]] who got a medical degree online at the University of [[Africa]]. [[tabloid|YouGov]], the crap polling organisation, asked UK victims of the NHS;

"Would you support anything that kills more Americans, such as [[Osama bin Laden]], [[texas|special needs with guns]] and Obamacare?"

97% answered "yes". (The other 3% were in a vegetative coma after been deliberately run over by [[communist]] NHS ambulances.)

See Also

*[[Luigi Mangione]] - He did it right.
*[[Conservatism]]
*[[Liberalism]]
*[[Neo-con]]
*[[Socialist]]
*[[Obamacare]]
*[[Dead baby dumping|Where America is Heading]]
*[[Why do you hate America?]]
*[[HealthCare.gov]]
*[[How To Wash Your Hands]]

External Links

This being a rather hot-button topic right now, to see an example of this sort of thing, one only need to use a search engine with the following search terms: Pelosi, Harry Reid, Obama, Health Care, Reform, Senate, House, Canada, Europe, Dialysis.

* http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d111:H.R.4872:" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Full text of the bill - have fun reading through this thing.
* http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/03/25/2010-03-25_rep_anthony_weiner_receives__threatening_letter_suspicious_package_after_health_.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Threats!
* http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2010/03/22/2010-03-22_healthcare_bill_the_key_points_you_need_to_know.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Key points within the bill
* http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2010/s2857723.htm" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Health Care Backlash
* http://archive.fo/Wo4qg" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Healthcare reform could cause civil war.
* http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0310/34838.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The only thing worse than winning ugly is losing uglier.