High Score/Great Prophet(s)
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Last updated: 5 months ago
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! RANK
!
! PROPHET(S)
! ORDER
! CHOSEN
! BLESSED
! METHOD OF SACRIFICE
! MARTYR
! YEAR
! LORE
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linkGuyana
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| [[Kool-Aid|Jim Jones]]
| The Peoples Temple of the Disciples of [[Marx|Christ]]
| 918
| 11
| Mass Self-Sacrifice
| Y
| 1978
| Self-proclaimed socialist-God [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|commanded that his followers drink cyanide-flavored Kool-Aid]] after realizing that pwning a congressman on a friendly visit to his humble town was bad PR.
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linkUganda
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| Joseph Kibweteere, Credonia Mwerinde
| [[Wikipedia:Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God|Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God]]
| 778
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Mass Sacrifice
| Unknown, Unknown
| 2000
| Promised the apocalypse at the turn of the millennium; locked their followers in a church during service and then blew it up after being exposed. Directed by [[Michael Bay]].
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linkKenya
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| Paul Nthenge Mackenzie
| [[Wikipedia:Good News International Ministries|Good News International Ministries]]
| 429-1042
| 72
| Mass Self-Sacrifice
| N
| 2023
| Told [[idiots|followers]] to starve themselves to death to meet Jesus.
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linkGreece
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| [[Wikipedia:Mariam Soulakiotis|Mariam Soulakiotis]]
| The Old Calendarist Pefkovounogiatrissas Monastery
| 177+
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Conquest
| N
| 1939-50
| Upset over changes being made to the calendar, a bunch of naughty nuns went and started their own renegade convent, where their nubile young novices were kept in chains when not being beat, whipped, and flogged. Like all greasy Greeks, they also insisted that everyone hand their monies over to them.
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linkMalawi
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| Tomo Nyirenda
| Mwana Lesa Movement
| 176
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Conquest
| N
| 1925
| [[Black Jesus|Nigger priest]] traveled to several [[Africa|Africunt]] countries until he became friends with the chief of a random village, then decided to hunt down the people he viewed as dirty [[infidels|witches]] and [[Waterboarding|drown them in a river]].
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linkThe Aztecs
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| [[Wikipedia:Motecuhzoma Xocoyotzin|Motecuhzoma Xocoyotzin]]
| People of Aztlan
| 100+
| 1
| Conquest
| Y
| 1502-20
| In fear of the world ending in 2012 and the calamity caused by Spanish Jews trying to find El Dorado, he did what is nowadays often referred to as the first Holocaust ever by no one, only to get stoned by his own people and becoming an hero by refusing to eat or have his wounds dressed.
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linkAmerica
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| [[David Koresh]]
| Branch Davidians
| 86
| 50
| Disputed
| Y
| 1993
| After stockpiling weapons for the upcoming apocalypse, the ATF showed up to raid them. This lasted 51 days before their entire compound was burned down.
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linkFrance
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linkBelgium
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| Joseph Di Mambro, Luc Jouret
| [[Wikipedia:Order of the Solar Temple|Order of the Solar Temple]]
| 75
| 3
| Mass Self-Sacrifice/Conquest
| Y,Y
| 1994-97
| Prophetically deemed a newborn the [[Antichrist]] and commanded for it to be stabbed. Subsequently a mass suicide was ordered by the prophet and his followers, [[wtf|dressed in ceremonial robes with plastic bags on their heads.]]
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linkBrazil
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| João Ferreira
| [[Wikipedia:pt:Pedra do Reino|The Stone of the Kingdom]]
| 54
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Mass Self-Sacrifice/Conquest
| N (Killed by follower)
| 1838
| Some weird [[Brazil|brazucas]] that believed [[Wikipedia:Sebastian, King of Portugal|Dom Sebastião]] would [[No|return]] and that his kingdom was [[WTF|enchanted by some stones]]. Just like [[Jim Jones|another cult leader]], he made his followers drink supposed "[[Fake|holy water]]". After that, João announced that he [[drugs|had a vision]] where a blood sacrifice would be needed for Sebastião as proof of their faith, so obviously this then led to a 3-day massacre where some of his followers would [[An hero|jump off high places]] while others would carry out murders.
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linkAmerica
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| Marshall Applewhite
| [[Heaven's Gate]]
| 39
| 1
| Mass Self-Sacrifice
| Y
| 1997
| Castrated self to prevent earthly desires. Had his followers dress aesthetically and wrap plastic bags on their heads when Comet Hale-Bopp came near Earth so that the [[UFO|alien]] spaceship hiding behind it would [[Star Trek|beam them up]] to their salvation.
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linkAmerica
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| [[Wikipedia:Clementine Barnabet|Clementine Barnabet]]
| The Church of Sacrifice
| 35+
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Conquest
| N
| 1909-11
| 'Murrica's first Negress serial killer and the mammy of a coon quintet that hacked up other jiggaboos for bad juju rituals that would make them immortal and invisible to the poh-leece. Lawdy.
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linkMexico
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| [[Wikipedia:Ervil LeBaron|Ervil LeBaron]]
| Church of the First Born of the Lamb of God
| 35+
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Conquest
| N
| 1972-81
| Instructed the rightful killings of many false prophets and pharisees, including his heretic of a brother and [[Homeopathy|Rulon Allred]].
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linkSouth Korea
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| Park Soon-ja
| [[Wikipedia:Evangelical Baptist Church of Korea|Odaeyang Trading Co.]]
| 33
| [[Epic Win|0]]
| Mass Self-Sacrifice
| Y
| 1987
| Trading company that was a front for a religious sect that committed mass suicide because of doomsday shit. The leader was also being investigated for fraud. So convenient that doomsday was approaching, right?
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linkJapan
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| Shoko Asahara
| [[Aum Shinrikyo]]
| 27
| 6000+
| Conquest
| N
| 1989-95
| The second coming of [[Jesus|Christ]] unleashing his wrath on this sinful world via [[Zyklon B|gassing]].
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linkAmerica
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linkMexico
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| [[Wikipedia:Adolfo Constanzo|Adolfo de Jesús Constanzo]], [[Wikipedia:Sara Aldrete|Sara Aldrete]]
| Los Narco-satanicos
| 25+
| 1
| Conquest
| Y,N
| 1986-89
| Found favor with the dark [[Voodoo]] gods and ensured a bountiful drug trade by sacrificing [[Spic]] street trash, but then went and fucked it all up and drew attention to themselves by offing a Gringo.
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linkAmerica
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| Yahweh ben Yahweh
| [[Wikipedia:Nation of Yahweh|Nation of Yahweh]]
| 23
| 2
| Conquest
| N
| 1979-90
| [[Black Hebrew Israelite]] whom had his disciples deliver holy judgment to defectors, [[White devils|Edomites]], and so-called Jews. DAS RITE!!!!
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linkAmerica
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| Robin Gecht
| [[Wikipedia:Ripper Crew|The Ripper Crew]]
| 18+
| 4
| Conquest
| N
| 1981-82
| A breast-fetishizing Satanist had his flock help him rape whores, who were then given mastectomies so that their precious mammaries could be stored for later use as snacks and sex toys.
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linkAmerica
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| J.C.X. Simon
| [[Wikipedia:Zebra murders|Death Angels]]
| 15-270
| 10
| Conquest
| Y
| 1973-74
| Nigger Mudslimes (is there a worse combination?) popped caps in honky asses, and occasionally honored their dual heritages by groping and/or cutting the heads off of cracker women.
|- style
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linkAmerica
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| Wallace Fard Muhammad
| [[Nation of Islam]]
| 9
| 2
| Conquest
| N
| 1930-
| Another black Muslim cult that made its followers believe that crackers were created by [[Yakub|an evil black scientist]] to punish humanity, [[Lol|despite the founder being white]].
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linkAmerica
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| [[Charles Manson]]
| The Manson Family
| 9
| 2
| Conquest
| N
| 1969
| Convinced people to murder strangers to start a race war prophesied by The Beatles.
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linkSoviet Canuckistan
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| Charlie Ouyerack, Peter Sala
| The Belcher Islands Cult
| 9
| 0
| Conquest
| N, N
| 1941
| A pair of ice niggers, presumably out of it on fire water, decided to become the Eskimo Jesus and God, and clubbed anyone who objected like baby seals when not locking them outside naked in the snow to be the [[Injuns|Injun]]-cicle welcome wagon for OG white Jesus.
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linkMexico
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| [[Wikipedia:Magdalena Solís|Magdalena Solís]]
| The High Priests of Blood
| 8+
| 0
| Sacrifice/Conquest
| N
| 1962-63
| Brought the Incan ways back in style with sex, drugs, and good old-fashioned Blood for the Blood Gods.
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linkAmerica
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| Immanuel David (formerly known as Charles Bruce Longo)
| [[Wikipedia:David family murder–suicide|Family of David]]
| 8
| 1
| Mass Sacrifice
| Y
| 1978
| Guy who believed that he was Jesus and whatnot, that thought he could destroy the world if he concentrated hard enough, saying that the Star of David didn't belong to the dirty Jews and actually belonged to him. Three days after killing himself, his wife become an heroine by throwing herself off a balcony along with her seven children. One of the children survived.
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linkSouth Korea
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| Woo Jong-min
| Youngsang Church
| 7+
| 0
| Conquest (before his leadership, during his leadership it is unknown)/Mass Self-Sacrifice
| Y
| 1998
| Standard Korean doomsday cult that committed mass suicide in 1998. Also killed a person in 1984, if not more.
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linkJapan
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| Miyamoto Shinji
| The Church of the Friends of the Truth
| 7
| 0
| Mass Sacrifice
| N
| 1989
| After his death, his wife, daughter, and five unmarried women known as the "Brides of God" killed themselves to join him and possibly have sex with him in the afterlife.
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linkAmerica
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| Jack "Ziz" Amadeus LaSota
| [[Zizians]]
| 6
| 0
| Conquest
| N
| 2016-
| A transgender murder cult motivated by the principals of radical veganism and "Rationalism".
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linkSouth Africa
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| Mancoba brothers
| [[Wikipedia:Ngcobo Police Killings|Seven Angels Ministry]]
| 6
| 0
| Conquest
| N (3 were killed by police)
| 2018
| Sex cult run by seven brothers who turned women into their sex slaves to satisfy God and their mother. Due to financial issues, they killed five cops and one off-duty officer. After that, the police pwned seven people, including three of the Mancoba brothers, and the rest were arrested.
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linkCanada
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| [[Wikipedia:Roch Thériault|Roch Thériault]]
| The Ant Hill Kids
| 5
| 0
| [[Torture|Penitence]]/[[Alternative Medicine|Prayer]]
| N
| 1977-89
| [[Moses]] risen to spread [[Rape|free]] [[Incest|love]] to all of God's children, when not beating the sin out of them, or attempting to cure their afflictions through a combination of faith and games of [[Guro|Operation]].
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linkAmerica
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| [[Wikipedia:Glen Helzer|Glen Taylor Helzer]]
| The Children of Thunder
| 5
| 0
| Conquest
| N
| 2000
| Extorted and murdered their brokerage firm clients as the first step in their plan to train Brazilian orphans to assassinate the heads of the Mormon Church, allowing them to take it over and use it to hasten the Second Coming of Jesus.
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linkBrazil
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| Valentina de Andrade
| [[Wikipedia:Altamira child emasculations|Superior Universal Alignment]]
| 3-19+
| 5
| Conquest
| N
| 1989-93
| Convinced that boys born after 1981 were corrupted by evil, they hacked the cocks off of random shotas in hopes that it would appease their alien overlords, who would then save them from an upcoming Judgment Day.
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linkAmerica
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| Carl H. Drew, Robin Murphy
| [[Wikipedia:Fall River murders|The Fall River Cult]]
| 3
| 0
| Conquest
| N,N
| 1979-80
| Pimps and hoes doin' the usual Satanism thang, and butchering anyone who got sick of all of the schlock horror flick-inspired animal mutilation and ominous Latin chanting.
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linkItaly
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| Nicola Sapone
| [[Wikipedia:Beasts of Satan|Beasts of Satan]]
| 3
| 0
| Conquest
| N
| 1998-2004
| A gang of dumbass teenage metalheads, thinking that it was still the 1980s, went out and slaughtered three of their friends for the Prince of Darkness.
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linkMexico
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| [[Wikipedia:Silvia Meraz|Silvia Meraz]]
| The Human Sacrifices Sect of Nacozari
| 3
| 0
| Conquest
| N
| 2009-12
| Encouraged family fun in the form of axings committed in the name of Santa Muerte.
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linkSweden
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| [[Wikipedia:Helge Fossmo|Helge Fossmo]]
| Word of Faith
| 2
| 1
| Conquest
| N
| 1999-2004
| Pentacostal priest who [[Lies|could speak with God]] and lived with his followers in a small, secluded village. Shot his first wife while she took a bath and convinced the family nanny to murder his second wife.
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linkAmerica
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| [[Wikipedia:Rod Ferrell|Rod Ferrell]]
| Vampire Clan
| 2
| 0
| Conquest
| N
| 1996
| Edgy teen that thought of himself as a vampire named Vesago. Decided to kill the parents of a girl he liked, because she described them as abusive. Then they escaped, traveled to other states, ran out of money, and thought it was a good idea to ask another member's grandma for money. It wasn't, and they were arrested.
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linkFrance
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| Arnaud Mussy
| Néo-Phare
| 1
| 2
| Sacrifice
| N
| 2001
| Claimed he was [[Jesus]] and that the world would end and that flying saucers would take them to Venus. This led to one member becoming [[an hero]] and two trying to and failing.
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linkChile
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| [[Wikipedia:Antares de la Luz|Antares de la Luz]]
| Calypso
| 1
| 0
| [[Fire|Sacrifice]]
| Y
| 2012
| [[Hipster|Music teacher]] [[Stereotypical|told followers that he was Jesus]], then [[Epic Win|had sex with all of the]] [[sluts|women]] and [[Fail|got one pregnant]]. After [[Mistake|his son]] was born, he [[WTF|threw him into a bonfire due to believing he was the Antichrist]].
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linkJapan
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| Koji Takahashi
| Life Space Movement
| 1
| 0
| [[Alternative Medicine|Prayer]]
| N
| 1999
| A healer who tried to help one of his followers after he hit his head and fucked it up. The follower left the hospital trusting him, but he just fucked him up even more, resulting in his death. The healer did mental gymnastics to claim that he was still alive, like how blood isn't what keeps people alive, but rather air circulating in their bodies (yes, his followers actually believed this shit). The body stayed there for four months before it was found and the healer was arrested.
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linkIndia
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| Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
| [[Wikipedia:Rajneesh movement|Rajneeshee Movement]]
| 0
| 751
| [[Pandemic|Conquest]]
| N
| 1984
| Contaminated salad bars in the hope that the disease would cause low voter turnout in an upcoming local election and in turn help their shills win the oh-so honorable prestige of county council.
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linkAustralia
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| Anne Hamilton-Byrne
| [[Wikipedia:The Family (Australian New Age group)|Santiniketan Park Association]]
| 0
| 14
| Conquest
| N
| 1968-75
| Would take care of 14 children of adult cult members, telling them she was their mother, giving them drugs and beatings, making them wear matching clothes, and dyeing their hair blonde.
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linkAmerica
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| "Jen", "Renee"
| http://www.demon-sushi.com/warning/index2.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Final Fantasy House
| 0
| 5
| Conquest
| Unknown, Unknown
| 2002
| Lesbian lovers who believed they were characters from Final Fantasy 7 reincarnated on Earth. Convinced a couple of retards to live with them and were told they were also reincarnated, or "soulbonded" as characters from the game. They would be emotionally, physically, and sexually abused.
|}}}
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