Internet Disease

Typical Internet Disease

Internet disease manifests itself in different symptoms.

Internet Disease (AKA [[Funny|Instagram Voodoo]] or [[Unfunny|The Angles]]) means displaying old, faded, blurred or otherwise non-descript photographs of oneself, taken with bad lighting and at awkward angles, on the [[Internets]] in order to make you appear more attractive to people online than you are [[IRL]]. Internet disease was invented in 1998 by Natsuki, a [[Japanese|reverse weeaboo]] living in Michigan at the time.

How Internet Disease Works

An internet diseased photo is taken with the subject standing at an angle, thereby hiding his or her obesity, bald spot, scars, etc. Also the contrast of the photo is increased [[drama]]tically in order to obscure unattractive facial features, like acne and [[Chin-chan|the chin]].

By using such [[Witchcraft|techniques]], which are elucidated in greater detail below, individuals afflicted with the Internet disease are able to conceal the fact that they are an unattractive person, and instead become a figure envied (or, at least, not reviled) by others. In a desperate attempt to look like the victims of Internet disease, admirers use the very same techniques as the admiree(s), thus further propagating the disease.

In 2004, the World Health Organization released statistics showing that [[over 9,000]] teenage girls in the United States alone suffer from Internet disease (ID), over half of which have led to disappointing meetings with [[IRC]] and [[AOL]] boys. The paper also claimed that ID is especially dangerous because desperate men far too often end up having unprotected sex with female ID sufferers anyway, leading to the birth of many ID-exposed babies, causing the problem to perpetuate. The WHO has emphatically recommended the immediate use of condoms and vasectomies for all men on the [[Internets]], as well as fallopian-tying for all ID female sufferers.

Techniques

* [[Fat girl angle shot]]
** 135° Birds-eye
** 180° Overhead
* [[High contrast]]
** Over-saturation
** Over-contrast / brightness
* [[Low contrast]]
** Sepia tone (hide [[acne]])
** Black and White (hide everything)
* [[Photomanip]]
* [[Misleading thumbnail]]
* [[Sex by association]]
* [[Chinstrap]]
* Old Pics
* If all else fails: [[Lens flare]]

Gallery

See Also

* [[AIDS]]
* [[Cocaine Babe]]
* [[ETD|Electronically Transmitted Disease]]
* [[Fat girl angle shot]]
* [[IRC Disease]]
* [[MySpace]]
* [[You]]

External Links

* http://www.emobucket.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Emo Bucket, beware full of disease.
* http://groups.myspace.com/almostprettypeople" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A MySpace support group.
* http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=internetdisease" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LiveJournal Community.