Islam Is The Light

In October of 2008, Rachel Jones, [[white trash|an All-American Mom from Indiana]], purchased Jew "[[Loli|Little Mommy]] Real Loving Baby [[Toddlercon|Cuddle & Coo]] Doll" for her children. Soon thereafter, she heard the toy say with its artificial lips, "Islam Is The Light".

She was [[shocked and appalled]]. From there, word spread like [[fire|wildfire]]. It wasn't long before every single [[Christian]] fundamentalist, [[Alex Jones|crackpot]], and helicopter-mom in the [[dumbfuckistan|country]] swarmed to to unleash their [[batshit insane|righteous]] fury in the name of the [[raptor Jesus|Lord]].

[[This_is_why_we_can't_have_nice_things|This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things]]

Like rotten-fish-guzzling seagulls behind a Polish fishing trawler, [[Fox News]]'s van was the first to scream up to the scene of the hate-crime. Like a good [[troll|news station]] they then proceeded to repeat the "hate statement" [[over 9000]] times over the course of the 4-minute report on it.

The fanatics thus began their [[lemon party|feeding frenzy]].

jdXaZJ3EJzUOne look at him and I become terribly afraid for the Altar Boy.

In an uncharacteristic [[win|display of courage/brains]], the stores stocking the toy refused to recall the first wave of shipped dolls in [[Obama]]'s evil subversive plot to turn all our children into [[emo|deranged]], violent [[terrorists]]. The resulting cyclone of [[bawwwww]] caused by the legions of [[moralfags|raw-burger-faced meddling trailer-moms]] squawking that the toy was "spouting hatred" would have been the end of the story - funny, but not really [[lulz]].

That is, until early 2009, when Jones [[asking for it|innocently]] purchased the [[Nintendo]] DS game [[Chris Hansen|Baby Pals]] for her daughter.

That's right. [[irony|The same mom]] and the same kid. Apparently, the game used the same sound-file as the dolls. Thus, Rachel Jones again became [[rage|incensed]] when she heard, from the speakers of her child's portable [[video game]] system, "Islam Is The Light".

Crave Entertainment, which publishes Baby Pals, has responded to [[attention whore|Rachel Jones]]'s [[BAWW|concerns]].

UBjBAhjgA4o
What's more disturbing? The child's toy under demonic possession,
or that news correspondent's botched botox-job?

So What The Fuck Happened?

Good question. Some claim it to be proof of the [[Weev|evil Islamic conspiracy.]] Some, less [[retarded|prosaic]], think that a [[Anonymous|merry prankster]] working for three dollars an hour making [[oh exploitable|exploitica]] for idiots decided to slip the sound sample into the game to see if anyone would notice.

[[Some argue|Others think]] that the [[Truth|interpretation is subjective]] and that it's [[Lulz|a random assortment of notes]]. [[Flame War|Some argue]] that if you search for something in you will find it, [[Time Paradox|even if it isn't there.]]

Had [[Jack Thompson]] not been disbarred, he'd have a field day pointing out the moral poisons contained in video gaming.

Mattel Corporation has released a http://www.shareholder.com/mattel/downloads/10-13-08_Media_Statement_re_Cuddle_and_Coo_Dolls.pdf" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">press statement, effectively [[lie|denying]] that they [[did it for the lulz]].

For [[anon|our]] part, we can only take it as proof that [[God]]/[[Allah]]/[[Jacknstock]] was real, and that he loves the [[Lulz]].

who began yammering about this in the first place.]]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category: Epithets]]
[[Category: Subcultures]]
[[Category: Trolls]]
[[Category: Drama-generating techniques]]