Jew Hat

The Jew Hat or Judenhut is a cone-shaped pointed hat, often white or yellow which has in recent times become something of a 'little black dress' for [[hipster]] kikes.

History

The below account is [[wikipedia:Richard_I_of_England#Anti-Jewish_violence|100% factual according to TOW]]. It should also be noted that King Richard the Lionheart wasn't just anti-semetic but was also rather fond of [[Crusades|pwning Moslems]].

Although now highly fashionable, the Jew Hat wasn't always so cool; not for Jews that is. Invented at least 900 years ago in [[Medieval]] England by epic Jew ha(t)ter [[IRL troll|King Richard the Lionheart]] to separate the Jews from the Gentiles (since [[foreskin|dropping trou]] wasn't really practical), the Jew Hat was akin to the yellow star [[Hitler]] (who totally stole from the idea from [[the Pope]] around the [[Spanish Inquisition]]) made the Jews wear in [[Nazi]] Germany.

Good King Richard had decided that his coronation was to be a [[mantrain|guy's only]] affair and made a proclamation banning Jews and [[wimmins]]. Since most wimmins are [[tits|easily detectable]], there was no problem there, but the Jews...what to do about the Jew? Richard decided that a [[Curious George|yellow hat]] with a [[circumcised]] knob on top would do the trick and made another proclamation making the Jew Hat compulsory for the Jews.

So far so good. The only problem was, that some brown-nosing money lenders decided to sneak in anyway to curry favour with the new king and upon arrival were easily spotted by their Jew Hats and Richard's courtiers stripped and flogged the Jews, then flung them out of court. Richard then ordered all Jews to be killed and the [[chavs|people of London]] began a [[holocaust|massacre]]. Many Jews were beaten to death, robbed, and burned alive and Jewish homes were burned down. Several Jews were [[owned|forcibly baptised]].

Since having sex with Jews in Medieval Times was also deemed illegal -and thus unsafe- the Jew Hat often doubled as a [[condom|Jimmy Hat]] or a [[dildo|strapon]].

Today

However, much like it now being cool for black people to wear [[slavery|gold chains]], the Jew Hat is back baby! And the Jews are [[cool|claimin' it and representin']] donning the Jew Hat as a fashion statement. In your face King Dick! If you're a Jew, you should go out and get one now. It will make the wearer magically appear [[rich and beautiful|appealing and attractive]] to the [[golddigger|ladies]] since it denotes that you have plenty of [[Jew Golds]] to lend at very [[usury|reasonable rates]].

Jew Hats Through The Ages

See Also

*[[Fashion]]
*[[Fedora]]
*[[Jew-ish]]
*[[Smurfs]]

External Links

*http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=684&letter=J" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Judenhut at Jewpedia
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_hat" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jewish hat on English Wikipedia
*https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judenhut" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Judenhut on German Wikipedia
*http://www.flickr.com/photos/32388242@N05/3797969832/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jew Hat hipster's flickr
*http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en&q=%22judenhut%22&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Where to get one






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