London Olympics

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version. Looks even [[moar]] like [[buttsecks]].]]

It all began [[Last Thursday]], when officials revealed the hip new [[London]] 2012 Olympics logo to the public. This new logo was supposed to be [[ghetto|urban]], [[awesome]], [[wut|active]] and [[extreme]]; however, it turned out to be one of the most ghastly sights since the public broadcast of Janet Jackson's nipple piercing. The cost of this logo to British taxpayers was a whopping [[over 9000|£400,000]] (about $604,000). Yes, it cost that much for someone to draw two simple, ugly geometric figures with a pair of highlighters.

The public's reaction was nothing short of outrage, and the logo was described as "a broken swastika" https://web.archive.org/web/20080421114514/http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/sterlingtimes/vpost?id=1940575&trail=15]." class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">It's amazing how the campaign was so bad that it's brought back nightmares of [[Godwin's law|World War 2] and the [[Holocaust]]. [[some_argue|Some even claim]] it's a [[jews|jewish]] logo spelling out "Zion." In fact, careful examination of the design will invariably reveal its resemblance to two people having [[buttsecks]]. You see it now!

None of the British public like it. A [[13 year old boy]] could've done better for a fiver!

Animated Epilepsy Version

As though the standard logo wasn't bad enough, the official website also featured a [[flash]] animation of the logo in action. The animated version involving a diver flashed so rapidly that it caused epileptic fits across Britain, exactly what [[Pokemon]] did to [[Japan]] and the [[Scientology|Church of Scientology]] did to the [[Epilepsy Foundation]]. The offending animation was removed from the site, but a segment of the animation has been preserved on ED for those who are still interested in what it feels like to have a [[AIDS|seizure]].

Fan-Created Designs

As a result of the increasing [[crybaby|outrage]] over the logo many different [[Troll|fan]] versions were submitted to the official site and numerous others keen to cash in on all those delicious Olympian-clicks. Most of them were desperately poor and riddled with [[cancer]] however, there was one design that [[Shock|stood out]] amongst all the others:


.]]


Yes, someone was [[Winrar|smart]] enough to implement the beloved [[Goatse]] into their submission thereby creating possibly one of the greatest and most [[lulz]]worthy symbols ever devised. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bb0_1181036190" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">It even made it onto live television. The person responsible for the playful tomfoolery was a poster on the British imageboard [[B3ta]].

London Olympics 2012 'Zion' Logo

Of course, since jews have a hand in most of the world's entertainment in some way or another it seems as if they found a way to weasel their way into the 2012 Olympics by subliminally spelling out "ZION" in the logo.
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False Flag Attack Conspiracy

[[Some argue|Many believe]] that a carefully orchestrated [[terrorist]] or 'nuclear' attack is about to be staged, to unify the planet and usher in a [[New World Order]], based upon the presence of [[Germany|swastika]] and [[Illuminati]]-symbolism ([[Tinfoil hat|subliminally transmitted to the brain]]) as depicted in the following video:

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The Great Ceremony

showing that they are ready [[Holocaust|to do it again]]]]

Basically this arse of a [[anal prolapse|"display"]] started off with a magnificent delving into the uncared realms of English history on a set that looked uncannily like where the [[Teletubbies]] live. Deep, deep into the unexplored histories of [[boring|boredom]] where mutton-chopped [[crap]] actors wandered around the stage like lost souls in a mystic pub. All the while, idiotic commentators blathered into their spit covered microphones about the [[shit|importance]] and [[buttsex|significance]] of all these [[period]] clothed twats.

Finally, after Kenneth Branagh had finished his cigar chomping gurn-fest, strutting around the Olympic playfield like a [[Creepy Woody|demi-god]], large polystyrene sculptures of implied [[penis|penor]] jutted out of the ground, while the grinning volunteers dances merrily around the balls, happy for their twelve seconds of fame.

approved.]]

Then shit got really weird, really fast. In a tribute to the fact that, unlike [[America|some other retard countries]], Britain has [[literature|a rich literary tradition]] and free national healthcare service, [[J.K. Rowling]] came out in front of the crowd and read a section from [[Peter Pan]], displaying a surprisingly [[boring|dull]] reading voice for somebody globally [[bullshit|regarded as a master storyteller]]. Then a load of sick kids where wheeled in on glowing hospital beds by doctors and nurses who proceeded to dance around to the theme from The Exorcist like characters from a [[gay|Andrew Lloyd-Weber musical]] while their [[loli|youthful]] [[shota|charges]] presumably slowly died of [[cancer]] and [[AIDS]].

The doctors and nurses eventually fucked off, but then, suddenly [[pedophiles|a load of guys]] [[goth|dressed in black]] appeared and started to [[rape|menace]] the children, before [[WTF|an enormous inflatable]] [[Harry Potter|Voldemort]] began to rise out of the ground. There were also [[shit nobody cares about|a few other villainous characters, including a giant inflatable Queen of Hearts, a giant inflatable Cruella de Vil and a giant inflatable Mr. Punch]], but those faggots aren't nearly as [[Jewgold|marketable]] as Voldemort and so nobody gave a fuck about them.

Then, because nobody appeared to know what the fuck was going on at this point, [[over 9000]] [[MILF|Mary Poppinses]] descended from the sky and wrecked Voldemort's shit. Everybody in the audience, both in the stadium and at home, just kind of shrugged and went with it.

All the while, renowned wax-faced David Beckham was clumsily driving a speedboat around the Thames, with a strategically placed token [[black|black]] girl holding the Olympic zippo lighter quivering with undeserved [[orgasm|joy]]. This eventually culminated in a [[gangbang]] of shitty unknown sportsman setting fire to a great shinning flame in the center of the olympic stadium, simply illuminating Britains inability to create something even close to the grand [[china|Chinese]] drum/firework/child labor explosion of an opening ceremony in the previous [[lol|lolympics]].

And to top the entire mountain of [[balls|bollocks]] off, [[sellout|Paul McCartney]] shambled onto the stage and croaked out a wheezy dying man's version of "Hey Jude", but not before the [[Arctic Monkeys]] had turned up to play that one song of theirs. Just to remind everyone in England that all their real pop stars are [[dead]], dragging the entire country's respectabiilty into the grave with them.

Despite being a tribute to British history, little was shown about [[Britain]]'s long record at [[scam|scamming]], [[thief|pillaging]], [[rape|raping]] and [[genocide|obliterating]] other countries, a great pity for the audience, as that would surely have made the ceremony a lot more [[lulzy|entertaining]] - although, admittedly, seeing all the people from other countries coming over to Great Britain and planting their flag in the soil in the hopes of going home with gold could be interpeted as being somewhat akin to colonialization, just in reverse.

Understandably, [[The Queen|Her Majesty, the Queen]] looked completely [[rage|fucked off]] throughout the whole [[Shamefur Dispray|shamefur dispray]].

Meanwhile in [[America]], TV networks censored the London Olympics opening ceremony because they thought it was too 'liberal'. Countries like [[Saudi Arabia]], on the other hand, left it uncensored. [[Some argue]], however, that it had nothing to do with politics and that it was simply because Americans aren't gay enough to want to watch that crap.

[[A Challenger Appears]]: Chicago 2016!...oh shit, it's Rio 2016

[[President Obama]], his wife and [[Oprah Winfrey]] spent quite a lot of time in Copenhagen, [[buttsecks|petitioning]] for Chicago to be the location for the 2016 games. Obama feels that [[Shit no one cares about|Greece]] and [[England]] shouldn't have all the fun by keeping graft and waste-ridden athletic competitions to themselves, and needs to feed his ego by being [[Unwarranted Self Importance|a president who personally brings Olympic games to the USA]]. Obama was pressured by Oprah and his [[morons|homies]] back on the street to get the games so they could get all that IOC money to dress up parts of the ghetto. That is tear down some [[Shithole|housing projects]], throwing some poor [[niggers]] on the street to build a state of the art Olympic village for the athletes. [[Win|Construct more overpriced venues so they can overcharge the IOC to build facilities with low standard materials, and cheap labor so they can pocket the difference]]. After the games are over let the facilities become abandoned and fall to ruin to be overrun by the same squatters they threw out on the street 4 years prior.

If [[shithole|Chicago]] had hosted the games, new logos and the city's storied tradition of political crony-ism and [[USA|corruption]] would surely have generated enormous [[lulz]]. But Obama and his wife decided that he was so amazing with the [[Nigger|Nigra]] Powers that they only gave 20 minutes speeches after a [[Crap|crappy]] video about how great Chicago is. Then again they both probably knew their beloved city did not stand a chance to Rio. Rio has things that Chicago didn't, Hot Beaches, Hot naked girls, titties and Hot underage naked girls, which won over the crown in Copenhagen, the CP capital of Europe. All Chicago has is Lake Michigan with fat slobs laying on the beach.

Alas, Chicago was voted out on the first round. There goes the chance that Chicagoan Marc Griffin's High Caliber Table Game, [[Bulletball]], would become an Olympic Sport. However, Rio does have shantytown slums, beaches, [[whores|hot bitches]] and a child prostitution network that even [[ACORN]] would evny. This raises Pedobear's hopes that Bangkok, Thailand will one day host the games. With Fox News and Obama's conservative opponents voicing concerns of President Obama's crony corruption, and a video of a kid being beaten to death in that fine city. With these corruption and safety concerns the IOC decided to give the 2016 games to Rio a city just as run down and corrupt and crime ridden a chance to suck on the International money tits. So now Rio can tear down the favela's, throwing niggers out on the street, to build an Olympic village and facilities that will be abandoned after use, to fall to ruin and be overrun by the same squatters they threw out 4 years prior. They are already well on their way with creating a shitty logo that is being blamed for plagiarism.

In a nutshell

A Better Alternative

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See Also

...]]
*[[LOLympic Games]]
*[[Michael Phelps]]
*[[Epilepsy]]
*[[Fan art]]
*[[Office of Government Commerce (OGC)]]
*[[Next Thursday|2012]]
*[[Olympic Flame]]
*[[United Kingdom]]
*[[illuminati]]
*[[9/11]]

External Links

*http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/6724245.stm" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">BBC's news story on the removal of the animated logo due to epilepsy.
*http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/382869" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The faggots at Newgrounds have their own homoerotic interpretation of the logo
*http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bb0_1181036190" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">That BBC news reporter didn't understand...
*http://archive.fo/3txcY" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">There's even a Facebook group. People are beginning to catch on.

]]|[[Aliza Shvarts]]}}
|[[Max Harris]]}}


[[Category:Events]][[category:Drama-generating techniques]][[category:2012]]