Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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PTSD
PTSD

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is the modern name for a condition originally known as shellshock but renamed as battle fatigue, operational oxhaustion and finally post-traumatic stress disorder by successive generations of manchildren who got better and better at covering up reality with euphemisms.
It is a mental condition caused by being in a fucked up [[war]] and then coming home and being unable to brag about your mad skillz because your bullshit country is too politically correct. Frustrated by this, people with PTSD tend to try and look for other outlets for their emotion such as [[heroin]], [[Stephen Paddock|country music]] and [[Islamic State|religion]].

Like most genuine diseases, PTSD has it's fair share of fakers trying to cash in on the [[Marijuana|benefits you get]] from having PTSD. A lot of modern claimants are potheads claiming they got PTSD when Hillary lost the election.

Not to be confused with [[PMS]] - which is far more horrifying to experience and even more horrifying to witness.

Causes of PTSD

Every time a [[Cosplay|comic-con model]] gets ogled by a greasy nerd, she will wake up in cold sweats for the rest of her life. Pretty much every time a supposedly “hard [[Fag|ass operator]] alpha male” sees the teensy, tiniest bit of blood, they proceed to piss themselves and [[BAWWW|cry]] about it for the next twenty years or so. PTSD is, in short, the chronic inability to man the fuck up. Any time you are pushed out of your comfort zone, chances are you have been put at great risk of contracting PTSD. Someone gave you a negative critique on [[DeviantArt]]? PTSD. Screen saver pop up while you're watching a YouTube video? Post. Traumatic. Stress. Disorder. Wait 21 minutes for your [[CP|pizza]]? Pop a celebratory [[Benzos|Xanax]]! You are forever scarred, and need to be treated with deference befitting your condition. [[Wikipedia:Post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Risk_and_protective_factors_for_PTSD_development|Just being Mexican is apparently enough to cause PTSD.]]

Legitimate Reasons To Have PTSD


[[Some argue]] these are [[IRL]] reasons to pull out your own hair and eat it. [[Anonymous|Others]] are inflicted with a sense of [[lulz|sadism]] and feel that the fact these were real events, which happened to real people and left them badly traumatized is funny. Who can blame them?
A Known cause of Post Traumatic Stress
A Known cause of Post Traumatic Stress


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Less Legitimate Reasons To Have PTSD


As though being raped, blown up or mutilated was not funny enough, there are plenty of people who haven't been traumatized but like to pretend they have been. For some reason they think this means [[Attention Whore|they will receive sympathy]]. They have clearly not been on the internet for long.

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A Very Grave Example of PTSD

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Completely bullshit reasons to have PTSD

http://www.timesofisrael.com/holocaust-trauma-can-be-inherited-study-finds/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Your parents survived the Holocaust. Or even your grandparents. Hell, who knows how many generations of scheming Jews will have a financial claim against Germany for the next few centuries because of some shit theory that relies on a heritable mechanism that is totally unknown to science http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24029109" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">("they may have a chemical coating on their chromosomes that would act as a sort of biological memory"). The Jews and their lies: Nevar forget.

Living With PTSD

Step 1. Don't


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Step 2. Ways to milk your PTSD


Failing Step 1, PTSD offers a mass "get out of jail free" card to many situations in life. It makes a bold play that A). You have a mental problem, which you twist into disability, B). Are a veteran of a war, as PTSD is often associated with war, AND C). [[Because of my syndrome|because of my syndrome]]. You can use this to [[BAWWW|talk]] your way out of a ticket, or into the pants of some chick you poured drinks down until she found [[you]] attractive or interesting. The best part is...no proof required. Much like the fabled [[Aspergers]] and [[Bipolar|bipolar disorder]], you can self-diagnose and just make shit up as you go along. You can claim whatever dumbfucked tragedy you want, and because people are so [[Fucktarded|sympathetic]] these days, you'll be swatting at sympathy pussy all day and night.

Things to do with your PTSD
*Act like a faggot.
*Blame everything on your [[because of my syndrome|syndrome]].
*Drive like a fucking retard.
*Back out of activities you don't like because [[lies|IT CAUSES PTSD FLASHBACKS]].
*Feign alarm at the fireworks you've been waiting for all night.
*Pretend to be freaked out by a shoebox on the freeway.
*[[Almost raped|Get almost raped]].
*Act like a wounded bird your entire life.

Notable [[victim]]s

*[[Tawneelynne]]
*[[Kale]]
*[[Metal Gear Solid|Snake]]
*[[PTSD Clarinet Boy]]
*[[Metroid|Samus]]
*[[Fat|Melody]] [[Cunt|Hensley]]

External Links

http://www.change.org/petitions/support-all-vets-applying-for-ptsd-benefits" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Petition to bankrupt the US militrary.

http://www.psychforums.com/post-traumatic-stress/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A forum fit for trolling if ever there was one.

http://www.amazon.com/forum/ptsd?_encoding=UTF8&eventID=3005731" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">When you need help, turn to Amazon

http://forums.catholic.com/group.php?groupid=46" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A place for Catholics to stop causing PTSD and help others deal with PTSD.

http://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A gathering place for the incredibly retarded and perminantly scarred.

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is part of a series on [[Disease|Diseases]] and [[Disorder|Disorders]]
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