Rainbow Road

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It's the road you go when you die

Appearing quickly in a pseudo-meme near you, Rainbow Road is a song that will quickly bring you to tears. Sung in tune to the music of Mario Kart's track of the same name on Gamecube/Wii/Nintendo64 (not the SNES version. They changed it, fag), the music video features a hip young singer Jew speaking the [[truth]] about this [[awesome]] track. Clearly, this song will go down as one of the [[lie|greatest lyrical achievements of the 21st century]]. NOTE: This song is not to be confused with a [[shoop da woop|Royal Rainbow]], an ultimate fail of a [[meme|classic meme]].

Origins of Rainbow Road

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Ever since the first Mario Kart game came out on the [[Super Nintendo|SNES]] console, children and adults who live in their parents basements playing nothing but video games every day have come to discover Rainbow Road as the hardest track in the entire game. The SNES version featured a pixilated track of many colors with thwomps, jump pads, and [[expert|no rails]], meaning you could fall of the track if your careless or an [[newb]]. To make matters worse, the coins blended in with the yellow spots on the track and computer drivers would blow you away if they so much as touched you during your tenure on this track. It should also be noted that coupled with lightning bolts and the heart-attack-like music, this track has been known to cause [[seizures]] to [[13-year old boy|13-year old boys]].

The Nintendo 64 version was much easier to handle, making it complete with a more [[gay|rainbow-like]] track coloring and rails. It included neon signs that flickered images of Toad, Mario, Yoshi, and the rest of the shitty [[Nintendo|Nintenny]] created by Shigeru Miyamoto. This track featured a more comfortable music score, not as psychotic as the SNES track, but still. It is also the longest track on Mario Kart 64.

[[Gamecube]] programmers was slow to release Mario Kart Double Dash, but when they did, [[butthurt]] Nintenfags were not disappointed. Returning to roughly the same music as the Nintendo 64 version, the track was a combination of rails and no rails, one big boost jump, and lots of chain champs sounding like dogs and wanting to [[rape]] you just before the finish line. Unlike the 64 track, however, there aren't a lot of cheat-worthy shortcuts to be had, so you have to beat the track legitimately, [[fag]].

Nintendo decided the previous Rainbow Road tracks were just not good enough for the [[Wii]] version. So, in their [[retarded|infinite wisdom]], game developers decided to make the track gayer than ever - adding hundreds of stars and asteroids in the background in addition to making little star tunnels and various obstacles. Because of the transparent nature of the track, players can easily lose their cars and drive off the edge. Coupled with poor music that has nothing to do with the previous tracks, and sounding more like the beginning of Knight Rider if it featured Heath Ledger and the setting was in California or Hawaii.

Behind the Music

The actual song to go along with the track was done in tune to the [[Gamecube]] version of the track. Performed by the band Rhymes With Stomach out of Madison, Wisconsin, the video has slowly become a hit among some of the *chan boards. Rhymes with Stomach is a two-member team which includes Mark Kump (the [[Wise beard man|bearded]] singer featured on the video) and Chris Waelti (some other guy who apparently had nothing to do with the Rainbow Road video). The band initially tried to perform some [[crap|crappy]] Christmas tunes, but failed when they realized none of them knew how to play a musical instrument. So, full of vigor, in February of 2008, the "band" created a tribute to Rainbow Road, which is actually partially a tribute to Mark's uncle Walter, who is [[lie|not yet dead]]. The band is currently unaware of the song's popularity, as displayed by their [[MySpace]] page.

Warning: Listening to this song more than ten times a day may cause [[AIDS]] and heart atta-HNNNNNNGGGGG.

Rainbow Road and The *Chans

Rainbow Road is currently a http://img.7chan.org/b/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">section on [[7chan]] as of July 2008. Click on the page and you will enter a world of hell featuring flashing texts and background featuring the hit song atop the board in loop mode. For the most part, [[Shit no one cares about|no one really cared]] about the recent change on 7chan, but when [[4chan]] was stricken with a serious bout of [[cancer]], 4chaners had no choice but to settle for less than greatness. Hence, Rainbow Road has quickly gained popularity, because [[fact|no one goes to 7chan unless 4chan is down anyway]].

PROTIP: To stop the flashing background and text, simply hit escape.

Copypasta

It's called a road it's called a Rainbow Road. It is a road that you go. It's called a road it's called a Rainbow Road. And you will know when you get there! It's called a road it's called a Rainbow Road. It is a road that you go. It's a road that you go when you die! It's a road called Rainbow Road. It's a road we're all gonna go. It's a road called Rainbow Road. It's got Princess Peach, Mario, and the Toad. It's a road called Rainbow Road. It's a road we're all gonna go. We'll gooooooOOOO! It's Rainbow Road it's where you go when you die! It's Rainbow Road! I'll miss you again, uncle. It's Rainbow Road it's where you go when you die! It's Rainbow Road! I'll miss you again... ooooon Rainbow Road! It's called a road it's called a Rainbow Road. It is a road that you go.

Fan-made Videos

Most of the fanvids are pretty [[gay]], but there are some that attempt to mimic the [[win]] of the first great hit.
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Rainbowroll'd. Too bad it's the short version, [[amirite]]?

Gallery

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See Also

*[[gay]]
*[[Nintendo]]
*[[7chan]]

External Links

*http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=143486263" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MySpace profile of the "band"
*http://www.garageband.com/artist/rhymeswithstomach/songs" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">"Band" Profile
[[Category:music]]