ScienceApologist

-- but a cute pink one.]]
ScienceApologist aka Joshua Schroeder is a [[TOW]] editor and [[Science]] https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:ScienceApologist" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nazi who famously got permabanned after a group of pissed-off [[retard|crystal healers]], [[conspiracy theory|conspiracy]] freaks, [[Creepypasta/Paranormal Creepypasta|ghost hunting psychics]], and [[UFO]] nuts successfully [[troll|trolled]] him until he went completely [[batshit insane]]. The [[bureaucratic fucks]] who [[permaban|permabanned]] him for acting like a huge [[dick]]wad soon realized his conflicts and drama were a major source of [[lulz]], so they voted to unban him. When not masturbating to physics textbooks, he's active under the new Wikipedo identity QTxVi4bEMRbrNqOorWBV and is periodically stalked by his sworn enemy and secret [[gay]] lover [[Davkal]].

He pwned them with Science

, communicating with ghosts and space aliens.]]
How it all started: once upon a time, [[Davkal]] created what he thought was a perfectly good Wikipedia article about how some friend of a friend saw a [[bullshit|quantum UFO paranormal thing]] when he was high on [[crack]]. When Scienceapologist pointed out just how much [[bullshit]] this was, Davkal and his crew of [[batshit insane|supporters]] argued QUANTUM this and ANOMALY that, and WOAH DUDE, [[magnets|MAGNETS]], and it's all part of the CONSPIRACY to suppress the [[truth|TRUTH]], man. Basically, every time they'd create some bullshit article, Scienceapologist would get it deleted within 5 seconds. And so, the enemies of Scienceapologist were born.

Hatin on him for real

Over time, [[Darth Vader|Scienceapologist's enemies grew stronger]]. They dragged him into the Wiki equivalent of [[internet court|trial court]] time after time, with Davkal cheerleading the prosecution, arguing that [[shit nobody cares about|cosmic penis magnetism, gay UFO's and Bigfoot's condom]] are proven to be real by "peer-reviewed scientific journals" and everyone had better fucking stop making fun of http://www.toptenz.net/to-10-useless-college-classes-degrees.php" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">parapsychology, or else. But the more of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MaxPont/ArbComEvidence#The_damage_to_Wikipedia_by_the_ScienceApologist_scandal" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">these huge dramas that took place in Wiki Court, the more his enemies got their asses kicked, and the more pissed-off they got.

Sci vs. Phi

Needing more firepower, Davkal formed an alliance with , a powerful [[magick]] [[psychic]] [[fag]] who https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_arbitration/Martinphi-ScienceApologist" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">faced down Scienceapologist in an Arbcom duel to decide whether Wikipedia should say the Earth is round and orbits around the Sun or that it is flat and controlled by shape shifting wizards. Scienceapologist and MartinPhi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Zvika/Interview/Integrated" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">fought many epic pissing battles in public and at one point were subject to a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Incidents/User:MartinPhi" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">restraining order. After making some https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Martinphi_Pentacle.gif" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">important contributions, MartinPhi threatened several [[bureaucratic fuck]]s with a [[Psion Guild|psychic castration spell]] in retaliation for ruining his plan to turn [[Wikipedia]] into [[Harry Potter|Hogwarts]] and have online [[buttsecks]] with [[Fred Bauder]]. The result: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/IncidentArchive507#Indefinite_block.2Fban_of_Martinphi" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MartinPhi permabanned, and megalithic [[butthurt]] among the enemies of Scienceapologist.

Batshit crazy period

on the streets after being permabanned from Wikipedia.]]
By 2010, Davkal had [[MMORPG Freak Out|pulled together a massive crew of malcontents and sockpuppets]] to hound Scienceapologist at every turn. So, if Scienceapologist said https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:Requests_for_arbitration/Cold_fusion#Statement_by_ScienceApologist" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">"The Death Star does not actually exist in reality, you fucking douche", they'd [[baw|cry]] and drag him into Wiki Court for being impolite.

Pretty soon he was in Wiki Court every hour of every day, and finally he just bluntly told these [[asshole]]s to fuck off and die. When Wiki admins cautioned him to stop being impolite and uncivil, he called the admins ignorant jizz-slurping morons and dared the [[bureaucratic fucks]] who ran [[TOW]] to [[unwarranted self-importance|either ban him or crown him King of all Wikipedos]].

So they temporarily banned him, but he came back as an angry sockpuppet to threaten people and act like a complete and utter [[asshat]]. The only solution was to [[permaban]] him, and so the Wiki Court was somberly draped in black, the ban hammer came down, and Scienceapologist's enemies duly rejoiced.

Resurrection

Maybe a year or two later everybody on Wikipedia was just sitting around bored to death. There was no good drama, at least not like the old days. "Hey what about that dude Scienceapologist," they asked, "he wasn't SO bad, let's get his ass back here to stir up some shit". And so a vote was taken, the ban was lifted, Scienceapologist was returned to his rightful place on Wikipedia, and soon, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Davkal" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">his enemies felt a sharp, stabbing pain in their assholes.

Top 10 Wikipedia Articles created by [[Davkal]] but deleted by Scienceapologist

* Mysterious (And Itchy) Pubic Crop Circles
* Penis Dowsing the Gargoyle Chupacabra
* The Scientific Evidence For Invisible Ghost Farts
* Telekinetic Slut Hookers
* Parapsychology Is Respected Science (And If You Don't Believe It, I'll Kill You)
* Cosmological Condom Fetish
* Antigravity Anal Probation
* Paranormal Toenail Fungus Phenomenon
* Unsolved Paperweight Mutilation Cases
* Haunted 1969 Chevy Malibu

Links

* http://web.archive.org/web/20120901213441/http://scienceapologist.wikinet.org/wiki/Joshua_P._Schroeder_%28ScienceApologist%29" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Much BUTTHURT inspired THIS page
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ScienceApologist" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The infamous ScienceApologist account on TOW
* http://www.columbia.edu/cu/physics/student-bios/Schroeder/student.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Doxxing FAIL
* http://www.velikovsky.info/Joshua_Schroeder" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Velikovsky Encyclopedia cry like bitches about ScienceApologist

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