Socialist Workers Party

* SWP DID WTC *

* SWP DID WTC *

* SWP DID WTC *

* SWP DID WTC *


* SWP DID WTC *


* SWP DID WTC *

. Respeck.]]
The Socialist Workers Party are a [[n00dz]] uploading [[communist]] [[Illuminati]] that was founded over [[100 years ago]] and [[Pathetic|would rather kindly HAWHAW like to suggest]] a [[IRL]] [[DDR|revolution]]. Their leader is [[Zombie]] [[Karl Marx]], a notorious Anti-Semitic Jewhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Jewish_Question]," class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">they follow his every word. When they are not following his word they sell pamphlets and newspapers explaining how to [[The_Nightmare_Before_Christmas|transform into a homosexual comrade], they pretend to be [[Anarchist]]s, take over [[students|Britfag student protests]] and encourage [[Students|over-priviliged retards]] all to go [[batshit|crazier than Britney Spears on a coke and LSD bender]], smashing in windows along the way. SWP are in a sacred war with [[Rich|Bourgeoisie]], [[BNP]], [[Nazi|EDL]], [[Tory|Tories]] and even [[you]]. It's all about the counterculture [[loli|bbz]]. I'm a Trotskyite. Cigarette? Fancy a shag? [[No|Would you like a paper]]?

Socialist Worker: Newspaper of the Mao

SWP sell a shitty communist newspaper called the "Socialist Worker" that no-one buys on the street, usually outside demonstrations for a cause. Any cause. Including legalizing [[Pedophiles]]. Other causes they support include [[bitches|equality of women]] and helping [[Terrorists|asian]] people attacked by Neo Nazis. They also sold papers at the WTC the day the attacks happened. SWP DID WTC.

reader, nothing unusual here.]]

Rich Lesbian Journalist Laurie Penny trolls "Comrades" about the paper being shit.

Brit fag newspaper [[The Guardian]]'s "comment is free" section (only actually free if you're famous, left wing or present a crappy channel 4 show) [[blogging|published]] [[disability|Laurie Penny's]] article, which called the SWP [[truth|old]], unhip, pointed out that in the 21st century nobody wants to read their shitty [[newspaper]], and that only an empty room was interested in paying to join to set fire to London because they could [[Do it faggot|do it anyway]]. The SWP responded straight away in the hippest way they knew possible: they made a [[failbook|facebook]] http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sour-faced-Socialist-Worker-Vendors-AKA-Revolutionary-Smiles/175541789144500" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">page (may the lawlz be with you) proving they were [[lies|still cool]]. dance dance revolution, comrades!

The SWP bitched about and particularly despised this quote:

The SWP got massively butt hurt by Laurie's attention seeking comments, but by then she had already moved on to complaining incessantly about various fictional rape allegations. Zombie Karl Marx awakened from his slumber and demanded Egor, pronounced "Alex" fix it all [[stat]].

But WAIT! there's more

is being brainwashed here. [[Run_Chubby|Move along]].]]
[[RAGE|Not happy]] with the SWP being [[Raped|frontally assaulted]], [[Hitler|SWP LEADER]] Alex Callinicos [[doing it wrong|used his position as a Guardian comment writer]] to attack Laurie Penny. He kept quiet about the fact [[holocaust denial|he actually runs the SWP in the article]]. [[Bullshit|Which wasn't relevant, at all.]]

You'd think disclosing that Alex [[Seriously|FUCKING RAN THE SWP]] whilst he whined on about [[pretentious]] lady boy Laurie would be important, but of course full disclosure might reveal the [[Brainwashing|Guardian is a peddler of actual Eastern Bloc Era Communism]]. Don't worry though, you can tell Laurie how much you support her personal stance on this by messaging her on her sekrit facebook profile https://www.facebook.com/laurie.penny]." class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Oh wait, is it not sekrit anymore? WE DUN GOOFED, then.

Drama

While requiring a little [[leet|knowledge] of SWP's bullshit, trolling Marxists can result in much [[lulz]] and [[butthurt]]:
*Compare their Fist hand gesture to the Nazi salute and point out the Nazi salute was adapted from 1920's US [[Socialist]] ran schools where children did it in the morning whilst doing the pledge of allegience.
*Say that Socialism is Fascist.
*Mention the failure of the [[Armenia|Soviet Union]].
*Compare Stalin to Hitler, then compare Hitler to Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro. For added lulz, find out their fave Commie country and compare the leader to Stalin and his purges. Then Hitler.

1ObK3CUM994
Humming the Soviet national anthem is optional.


*Tell them that the SP, or Socialist Party is the only real Workers party of substance, and that they talk the talk but do not walk the walk, bring up not officially supporting TUSC, that really pisses them off.
*Say Marx was a dirty nerd who needs to bathe.
*Mention [[Taiwan|China]]'s booming, capitalist economy (compared to the utter shithole it was when [[Lmao Zedong|Mao Zedong]] was in charge).
*Pointing out Marx was actually a Anti-Semite with a book called "On the Jewish Question".
*Come up with some bullshit about how Marx would have loved the [[In Soviet Russia...|Soviet Union]] and the People's [[China]]. Make sure to say he was probably [[bear|gay]] or into Scat. The more [[lie|falsified]] information you present complete with straight face the [[Lulz|lulzier]] it will be.

To troll any nearby New Labour mouth breathers (who will inevitably hang around SWSS gatherings), try the following:
*Say you support Israel and the war in Iraq.
*"Tony Blair was justified in trying to get Oil, they were savages."
*"RED ED? I'm with Boris."
*"Oil is important, without petrol, how will we get to work?"
*"I voted for David Milliband, but the commie dominated unions forced through that unelectable turd Red Ed anyway"

How their Bullshit Works

The [[Anjem Choudary|Islamist dominated]] SWP is "run" by a Central Committee almost entirely compiled of bitter polytechnic lecturers and Aristocrats rejected from the Tory party - they re-elect slight variations of themselves each year at a [[Convention|National Conference]]. [[Fascism|You can only elect members who agree with the Central Committee, which tells you all that you need to know about how Democracy will potentially function under the SWP]]. Members who agree with each other can meet up with other members and then [[lame|agree with each other]]. At councils two delegates from each branch, who agree with the leader of the branch and the Central Committee, can put their hands in the air as the need arises. Possibly.

In 2009, the members of the Central Committee included Chris Bambery, Alex Callinicos, Chris Harman and John ‘I’m Working Class’ Rees (who resigned). Chris Harman and Alex Callinicos (one of a middle-class background, the other is the main [[Rich|aristocrat]]) have been in the Party for a long time and have sold literally [[old meme|over 100]] books to [[losers|people who like reading books written by the SWP]].

The SWP's quest to make us all [[Cuba|queue for bread outside]] includes "Deflected Permanent Revolution". This means the country can be converted to Commu[[cum|jism]] only by "[[them|intellectuals]]", rather than [[you]]. [[them|The "intellectuals"]] [[lie|pretend]] to have solidarity with [[you]], and get brainwashed middle class students to scream about [[bullshit]] in the streets, and/or to set fire to them. SWP aim to pressure society, business and government into a slow Neo [[Socialist]]/Neo Soviet (think Stalin, not rail nationalisation) decline, from which they themselves profit financially and in infamy. The main problem with their [[failure|views]] is that in reality, the "intellectuals" are SWP's own core organisers, wealthy Oxbridge toffs (HAWHAW) from a background of luxury, no different from those who run the Conservative party. It's essentially a [[scam|con]]. The technical term for their bullshit is Blanquismhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanquism]." class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">In their own way, Alex Callinicos et all are throwing the Tory line "[[slavery|We're all in this together]" with a different slant. Once they are in charge...That will never happen.

Other prominent members include John Molyneux, Rob Owen and Pat Stack. None of these figures are known to people outside the SWP (or its far-left rivals), but they are known to the people who know them. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

The SWP has a ‘industrial department’ which [[recycling|hands]] out old scrolls by [[Leon Trotsky]] to union leaders, made in a cave by Bob Crow when he is not forcing all public transport workers to [[unemployment|strike]] for pay raises from £10 PH to £15 PH, which is fine if you're a fag smoking greasy unemployed Marxist, but substantially more annoying if you're trying to get to work. To buy a sexy 3D HDTV. You'll probably (as a fine upstanding member of the community, no doubt) also pay the striking tossers continually hiked wages with your taxes and rail fares. Bob also informs Boris continually as to [[Doing it wrong|how misinformed he is]].

How their Bullshit works: Pretentious Students

The SWP incorporates the [[middle class|Socialist Workers' Student Society]], which is actually the whole of the SWP (apart from ex-students who are leaders - but only if they are [[rich|loaded]]). These societies run meetings such as ‘[[Pretentious|How to master the cockney accent]]’, ‘[[Lying|How to pretend that one’s parents aren’t rich]]’ and ‘[[brainwashing|How to memorise the party line]]’

Gallery

The 'Inner Circle': Highlights

Alex Callinicos

Callinicos is an aristocrat, through his mother, of the 19th century English historian [[Rich|Lord Acton]]. During World War II his Greek father was active in the Greek Resistance to [[Nazi]] occupation, whilst his mother, [[srs|Ædgyth Bertha Milburg Mary Antonia Frances Lyon-Dalberg-Acton]], was the daughter of the 2nd Lord Acton. He was educated at St George's College, Harare.

Callinicos himself first became involved in [[lies|politics]] as a student at Balliol College, Oxford, from which he received his BA. In 1977, Callinicos married Joanna Seddon, a fellow Oxford doctoral student. He received his DPhil at Oxford.

You'd think Alex would prefer the [[Tory]] party but whilst the SWP obscurity is greater, the rewards of being at the top of a new political tree are just far too compelling, and lets not forget he'd be an outcast in the [[Tory]] party now. Really the decision to go far left after University was just a mistake. And it's one that he now cannot backtrack on, and nor would he, for the academic influence (has control over lots of headfucked students), and general influence (his own guardian section online) his little niche affords.

tl;dr Summary:
*Aristocrat
*Upper Class
*Oxbridge Graduate
*On the board of Directors at Kings College, London

Jake Smith: SWP MEMBER PROVIDES NUDES LOLOL

Prominent "inner circle" member, and at the time leader of the Sheffield branch of the SWP, Jake Smith posted his nudes online on NewbieNudes and then http://www.newbienudes.com/profiles/viewProfile.asp?id=2584012" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">BELETED THEM. Go on his http://www.facebook.com/JakeIzaakSmith" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">facebook profile and send them to all of his friends add him as a friend then tell all his other friends about his prOn star lifestyle.







Jake then assaulted some Police officers, lulz ensued. Guise, you can all fuck off saying Jake is a nutter who assaulted da police. He was cleared of all chargeshttp://www.socialistworker.co.uk/art.php?id=20714]." class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">

We'll have no moar badmouthing of this sexy sexy man with his alleged 8 inch penis (according to his n00bie n00ds profile). In fact, call him NOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW and apologise on these handy phone numbers we found [http://www.sheffieldhelpyourself.org.uk/full_search_new.asp?group=20665