Steam/Games

Games available on Steam

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* [[Age of Conan]] - That's right, this [[Norway|Norwegian]] pile of broken content is available on Steam. The only good thing about this game is the fact that you can undress as far as to the tits! TAKES FOREVER TO INSTALL.
* Alien Swarm - [[Call of Duty: Black Ops|Dead Ops Arcade]] with aliens. Noone ever plays this ever because they're too busy [[Team Fortress 2|trading hats]].
* Anything by PopCap - Why pay $10 for a [[lame|flash game]] I can find on the internet?
* [[Call of Duty]] - [[Sarcasm|60 bucks well spent!]]
* [[Counter-Strike]] - A clusterfuck of [[shota|prepubescent children]]. Famous for the useless shit people stick on their servers. Also home of [[Myg0t]] fags and according to [[Hilary Clinton]] causes the most [[Columbine|school shootings]] after [[Doom]].
* Counter-Strike: Condition Zero - An additional clusterfuck of [[shota|prepubescent children]], only with an added taste of french furries having microphone sex, and shouting 'beaum le headshotte' every ten seconds. Strangely has a larger population of prepubescent little girls than average, leading to an increased number of hairy pedophiles found on the servers.
* Counter-Strike: Source - Some MOAR additional clusterfuck of [[shota|prepubescent children]] , now with HD SAUCE GFX OMG!11!11!. Gameplay still consists of [[Fail|getting shot by AWP's every time]], and getting yelled at for not being a [[Gamer|pr0 1337 gamer]]. Hairy pedophiles are still existing in this one.
* Counter-Strike: Global Offensive: Take Counter-Strike Source and put it on the Left 4 Dead 2 engine. That's it. Also coming out on consoles so that pisses of the oldfag PC elitist players.
* DEFCON' - 2D Nuclear holocaust has never been so boring.
* Day of Defeat - Call of Duty minus singleplayer. Doesn't use the [[Nazi|swastika]] for the Germans even though its a fucking WWII shooter.
* Day of Defeat: Source - Same as above, but now with [[Crysis|BETTER GRAPHICS]] and moar faggotry, and it now uses [[Gay|TEH ORANGE BAWKS]] ENGINE OMFG, now everyone will [[Incontinent Student Bodies|BAWWWWWWWW]] about how low their FPS (Frames per Second) they're getting from their own shitty [[at least 100]] year old computer. Also in the Beta, shoot rockets at movable props to instantly win.
* Deathmatch Classic - Quake, with [[Half-Life|Gordon Freeman]].
* [[EVE Online]] - Space libertarianism, in MMORPG form. It contains a lot of [[SA]] [[Goons]] trying to ruin as many things as possible... IN SPACE.
*[[Dota]] [[Electric Boogaloo|2]] - Valve stole the Warcraft 3 mod and made a sequel of it for MOAR MONNIES because they don't get enough money from hats.
* [[EverQuest]] - An ancient MMORPG designed by opium addicts and Mexicans. In this game you can be a [[Battletoads|Battletoad]] that goes onto the moon to fight steampunk [[robot]] [[dragons]] and mushroom men.
* [[EverQuest II]] - And of course, the [[Electric boogaloo|sequel]] is added to the lineup. It's an easier EverQuest with voice acting.
* [[Garry's Mod]] - A sandbox mod for [[Half-life_2|HL2]]. Used to put Half-Life characters in sexual positions as a masturbatory aid. Killed by [[Roleplay|RPing]] [[Furries|furfags]] and EXTREMELY UNFUNNY GMOD VIDEOS ALL OVER YOUTUBE.
* [[Gynophobia]] - Some dude afraid of spiders and women.
* [[Half-Life]] - You need to kill aliens trying to take over the world. Real fuckin' original, eh?
* [[Half-Life 2]] - [[You fail it|You failed]] to kill everything in the last one so you need to kill the [[transgender|Combine]] that's taken over the world.
* Half-Life: Source - Just like original Half-Life, but with [[Sauce|Source]] and [[Ragdoll Physics]] OMGLOL[[oneoneone|!!111]] But no graphical enhancements, this pisses off graphicfags so that they're making a mod with it.
* Half-Life 2: Episode 1 - You failed again so you need to kill [[MOAR]] Combine and aliens, but this time there's a girl with you!
* Half-Life 2: Episode 2 - You failed AGAIN. You blew up shit and now you need to GTFO. Also you have a shitty car that's busted up, so that it looks like a strider got to it before you fucking did. And Morgan Freeman dies. Boo hoo.
* Half-Life 2: Episode 3 - [[Valve]] can't count to 3. It's never coming out because every single joke aimed at [[Gabe Newell]] causes him to press the "delay HL2:Ep3 by 1 year" button so at this rate we're getting it when all human life becomes extinct. Or when the internet dies.
* Half-Life Deathmatch: Source - You go around killing other people with no other goals, pretty boring huh?
* Half-Life 2: Deathmatch - Same as the first one but you use a GRAVITY GUN to shoot toilets at people.
* Half-Life Blue Shift - You're in the original Half-Life but you're a SECURITY GUARD! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?
* Half-Life Opposing Force - They're not done milking HL1 yet. Now you're a soldier, but you never get to run around killing innocent scientists at will.
* Killing Floor - Kill waves of zombies Zeds with five other [[noobs|players]] online, only to be assraped by [[Final Boss|the Patriarch]]. Every. Fucking. Time. Expect fellow players to beg for [[money|DOSH]] ad nauseum.
* [[Left 4 Dead]] - You go around seeing mother fucking zombies, you can be either a [[Vietnam War]] [[Oldfag|veteran]], some [[fag |biker dude]], a [[girl]], or a [[nigger]], make sure you don't shoot the zombies, no the zombies are your friends, just mostly shoot the guy who's a [[nigger]].
* [[Hurricane Katrina|Left 4 Dead 2]] - Same as [[Left 4 Dead]] only with more [[nigger]].
*[[The Orion Project|ORION: Dino Horde]] - Indie Halo clone with dinosaurs that aims to milk money with [[hat]]s.
* Peggle Extreme - [[Sarcasm|THE. GREATEST. GAME. EVER.]] Because it's [[Fail|Peggle]], with [[Half-Life|Gordon Freeman]], [[Team Fortress 2|Heavy Weapons Guy]], and [[Portal|GlaDOS]].
* [[Portal]] - You create Vagina shaped [[cunt|holes]] and jump through them. Seriously, this is all you do. Despite this, [[Lie|it still manages to be the best game created in the last 100 years]]. [[You|Retards]] abused the same jokes all over the internet and made it unfunny.
* Portal 2 - The sequel, with more unfunny memes abused to death by retards.
* [[Tron Guy|Ricochet]] - You jump from platform to platform in a black [[anus|void]] throwing Frisbees at people. Despite the Frisbee mechanic, you will most likely just fall to your death. A lot.
* Sam and Max - A [[furry|talking dog]] that stands up right and wears clothes is featured. Also featured is another talking creature that almost looks like a rabbit. SOUNDS [[Gay|EXCITING]] !!!
* Shattered Horizon - FPS in space with only one weapon and 4 maps. Random disconnects for no reason, horrible loading times, and crashes constantly.
* Smashball - A Handball/Unreal Tournament hybrid for fat homosexuals - but not fat fags, they play counter strike - to feel like they can actually play a sport, when all they are really doing is slowly carving an ass shaped groove into their semen encrusted fap chairs
* [[Gay|Spiral Knights]] - Some shitty F2P game added [[Last Thursday]]. Playing it earns you a hat in TF2.
* Team Fortress Classic - Like every other god damn shooter Valve makes but with different looking weapons.
* [[Team Fortress 2]] - [[lol|The game is free but charges you $15 for virtual hats.]] ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶t̶a̶r̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶r̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶u̶l̶l̶ ̶p̶r̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶"̶n̶e̶w̶"̶ ̶C̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶D̶u̶t̶y̶.̶ Scratch that, hats count for about 3/4 of the game.
* Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - A once-shitty MMO that got [[Bel-Air|flipped upside-down]].
* X2: The Threat - You fly through space in really slow space ships going from space station to space station making deliveries and getting in 20 minute dogfights with the [[Cock|Kha'ak]].
* X3: Reunion - The same as above, but now you can use the mouse in the GUI! Holy shit!
* Zeno Clash - You run around and punch mongoloids in the face, all the while wondering why the fuck you bought the gaem in the first place.

[[Category:Gaming]]
[[Category:Valve]]