Virgin

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[[whore|fails at virginity]]]]

[[OL]]

Untouched and pure, as in "virgin snow." Virgins are new to an [[IRC]] channel or a given community. When virgins innocently violate unspoken rules of [[netiquette]], those experienced with the [[internet]]s flame them into a smoking pile of greasy ashes, much like the [[NRA]] encountering Bambi.
Because of their boorish behavior, virgins can appear to be [[troll]]s. However, [[troll]]s are consciously obnoxious for the [[lulz]] while virgins have no idea they are [[idiot]]s. Savvy [[troll]]s will often create a [[sock puppet]] who pretends to be a virgin.

Sexual Virginity

According to a survey of [[13-year-old boy]]s, [[girl]]s fall into three categories: virgins, [[slut]]s, and [[mother]]s. According to a survey of [[16-year-old girl]]s, females remain virgin as long as they only fuck [[Jesus]] and/or only take it [[in the ass]]. History demonstrates that most all girls are not virgins (unless they're under 10, you [[pedo]]). Much to their regret, most [[13-year-old boy]]s are because they have small penises and [[noone]] wants them. (And most 13-year-old boys don't like being victim to [[Pedophile|pederasty]], no matter how handsome [[Noone]] is.) See also: [[Technical virgin]]. [[Fact|Usually virgins' pussies smell great.]]

Virgins Who Want To Stay That Way

]]
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Oddly, some virgins wish to continue their useless state of frustrated abstinence.
*http://community.livejournal.com/_modest_girls_/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Modest Girls
**http://community.livejournal.com/_modest_girls_/6233.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sample Entry: "I love [[Jesus]]. He's my lover and lives inside of my [[vagina|temple]]...so I don't need to show it off." (Note: An excellent source of [[what]].)
*http://www.ironhymen.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iron Hymen
**You don't have to be a slut! Instead, you can live a [[lesbian|bone-dry]] life that is bereft of disgusting penis snot that will try to cry its way up your uterus. Yes, you too can be a virgin for the rest of your life!
*http://community.livejournal.com/platonic_love/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Platonic Love
**http://community.livejournal.com/platonic_love/8291.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sample Entry: "Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline. 'Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymoar,' he says. 'We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.'
*Everyone on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
**[[Basement_Dweller|I]] suck cocks.
*Anne Coulter
*thepeaguy!!!
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consecrated_virgin" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Consecrated Virgins
*[[User:WheatThins|WheatThins]]
*[[Asexual|Asexuals]]
*[[User:Equivamp|Equivamp]]

Want To Be More Virginal

http://www.premaritalsex.info/#" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">even if you've been dating for 5 years, sex before marriage is a sin and will send you straight in satan's anus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_for_peace_is_like_fucking_for_virginity" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Fucking for Virginity Page was baleeted.

[[Chris-chan]] claims to be a virgin with rage, but when Clyde Cash sent prostitutes to his house, Chris refused them because he wants romance. http://anonym.to/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Clyde_Cash#Prostitutes]" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">

What We Know

Not much is known about virgins because those who are virgins typically claim that they are really [[rape|sex fiends]. Scientists speculate that most virgins are actually [[Basement_Dwellers|recluses]] who have small penises. Female virgins often complain about it on their [[blogs|blog]].

Useful Advice For Virgins

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Gallery Of Virgins

PermaVirgin

Typical [[Asperger's Syndrome| aspie]] virgin.
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Another lazy [[dying alone]] autistic virgin.
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PermaVirgin is an incurable affliction caused by the horrible virus known as [[Nice guys|"Nice Guy Syndrome"]]. These boys are caught in a [[Emo|downward spiral]] that keeps them virgins forever, no matter how hard they try or how [[Whore|desperate]] they get. Part of this [[Emo|downward spiral]] is them doing exactly what women tell them they want, being a yes man, and [[Whore|buying gifts for her]], [[Bullshit|which]], unless they're a [[BDSM|dominatrix]], [[trigger]]s the [[Camwhore|woman's]] "[[Do_not_want|Don't Fuck]]" instinct (any [[cooldude|real man]] knows that the key to [[Fail|getting laid]] is doing the [[Stupid|exact opposite]] of what a woman says she wants, being an [[asshole|asshole]] to them). PermaVirgin is also known and best described as the [[Friend Zone]]. It can also be, and is more commonly caused by [[Internet disease|internets disease]].

Famous Virgins

*[[Special:Mytalk|This pathetic fuck.]]
*[[Uncyclopedia|Uncyclopedia users AND editors]]
*[[No Cussing Club|The Entire No Cussing Club]]
*[[Wikipedia Admin Gallery|All of these guys]]
*[[4chan|All of 4chan]]
*[[Des Gregor]]
*[[Ann Coulter]]
*[[Christopher Cleary]]
*[[Fluffer]]
*[[World of warcraft|Every World of Warcraft Player]]
*[[GreenReaper]]
*[[Kraken's ghost]]
*[[Gothreaper1]]
*[[GoddessMillenia]]
*[[Raptor Jesus]]
*[[Christopher Hitchens]]
*[[Smogon|All the Smogonites]]
*[[Robert Wayne Stiles]]
*[[Morrissey]]
*The [[Jonas Brothers]]
*[[Linkara]]
*[[YouTube Commentaries#RandomDCE/JetDroidMonkey2007|RandomDCE]]
*[[SlimVirgin]]
*[[Summoner Yuna]]
*[[VegetaWorshipper]]
*[[Azure-Neon]]
*The people on [[R9k]]
*Riders of [[the Virginmobile]]
*[[LittleCloud]]
*[[WHEN I WAS|Gerard Way]]
*[[Bradford Cox]]
*[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
*[[Jason Aula]]
*[[SephirothPrincess941]]
*[[Sony-Mae]]
*[[The Spoony Experiment|Spoony]]
*[[Basement Dweller]]s
*[[Furries]]
*[[Dying Alone]]
*[[Filthy Frank|Filthy Frank fans]]
*[[The Eclectic Espeon]]
*[[You]]

Famous non-virgins

*[[Falcon_Punch|Captain Falcon]]
*[[Dorian Thorn]], who lost his virginity to food.
*[[Gaston]]
*[[Dr. Steel]]
*[[Shinra Online|Erotic Joe]],
*[[Your mom]]
*[[ByAppointmentTo]]
*[[Chris-chan]] (Former Wizard)

See Also

*[[Virgins vs Virgin]]
*[[Spastic Virgin Auction]]
*[[Silk Screen Goku Shirt]]
*[[Hover hand‎]]
*[[You]]
*[[Christopher Hitchens]]
*[[Dan Rabot: Rapist]]
*[[Tristen Alan Leritz]]

[[Category:Sex]]