Virginia

[[bondage|Virginia]] [[conservative|flag]].]]

The Commonwealth of Virginia is one of the [[lies|most progressive states]] in the entire [[United States of America]]! Our long, illustrious history has given our state lots of time to grow and advance from the [[yuppie|founding fathers]] creating the first [[ghetto|cities of our nation]], to the [[shit|wonderful place it is today]]!

Some of the things Virginia is most known for is it's long history of [[KKK|racial tolerance]], [[conservative|open-mindedness]], and [[redneck|highly educated population]].

[[DISREGARD THAT|Oh, wait....]]

History

, [[slavery|progressive]] state.]]
.]]
!]]

Not too long ago (by [[England|European]] standards) a bunch of rich white guys decided they weren't rich enough. When those crazy [[Spain|Spaniards]] discovered [[Mexico|the Aztecs]] and their amazing [[so cash|city of gold]], they thought that all of the "[[America|New World]]" would be just like the city of gold. That is, dripping with [[jew gold|fucking gold]] and [[Mexican|half naked, easy women]].

So, all these [[yuppie|rich white guys]] come over to the new world expecting to grab some gold, nail some bitches and go home only to find what every person who visits Virginia already knows: there is nothing here.

But do these guys give up? [[WTF|Hell no]]! Instead they decide to [[truth|build a city in the middle of a fucking swamp]], thinking that the gold has to be around here somewhere. They then were shocked all to hell when [[swine flu|diseases borne by bad water and mosquitoes]] [[fail|killed half the population within the first year]]. Almost everyone else died when winter came as the [[retarded|retards brought trade goods instead of seed crop]]s and could not grow any food.

The only reason anyone survived was because [[injun]]s [[welfare|bailed them out]]. Of course, we later [[pwned|repaid their kindness]] by [[truth|killing them in mass and stealing all their shit]]. Don't mess with the USA!

Later on, the [[Dutch]] come over with an awesome trade good: [[niggers]]! Well, rich people hate working more than they hate niggers, so they bought up a ton of niggers [[slavery|and put them to work]]. Their longstanding codes of conduct stand the test of time and are worth the read even today. With no work to do, the rich white guys did what any of us would have done: [[fuck|they started fucking]]. This would have been fine and dandy if it weren't for two problems...
#They would only fuck "[[cracker|fine, upstanding white Christians]]"
#There weren't many white people around....

When the civil war hit, this got even worse as many men and women died, further limiting the gene pool. [[Incest|Cousins started fucking each other]] with nobody else to screw, leading to the [[inbred|common Virginian]] we see today. On the bright side, all those freed slaves gave rise to the most popular southern pastime: [[lynch]]ing [[niggers]]!

Seeing how inbred and racist Virginia was made about half the state kind of embarrassed. I mean, they could be [[wincest|fucking their sisters]] instead of their cousins and [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burning the niggers]] after they lynched them, you know! So, back in 1862, [[West Virginia]] split away from Virginia, leading to the state you see today!

Lynchburg Colony

In 1914, the people of Lynchburg decided that they had had enough of the [[niggers]] and [[retards]] plaguing their state, and so decided to hold a [[holocaust|big party]], and all the "feeble-minded" people of Virginia were invited! For over 50 years, Lynchburg was the epicenter of the eugenics movement in America, sterilizing [[over 9000|8,300]] niggers and downies over the course of its operation. Even while [[Adolf Hitler|Uncle Addy]] was throwing a party of his own in Germany, the brave Virginians continued their tireless crusade against the untermenschen. This went on until 1972, when the [[leftards|ACLU]] complained enough that Virginia was forced to [[delete fucking everything|remove all traces of the colony and pay reparations to the sterilization victims]].

In 2009, a Welsh band [[shit nobody cares about|that nobody gives two shits about]] released their [[Lie|hit album]] "Journal for Plague Lovers", in which they have a song about the Lynchburg colony, creatively titled "Virginia State Epileptic Colony".

jBvB6TegwUI
Don't even bother listening to it. It's just as shitty as you think.

State Song: Carry Me Back to Old Virginny

]]

The song, "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny" was written in the 1800's by a minstrel playing on his [[redneck|banjo]]. In an amazing show of how far the state had come, this song was adopted as the official state song of Virginia by the General Assembly in 1940.

http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/song/va_carry_me_back.htm" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">It remains as the state song emeritus, even to this day!

21st century

The people of Virginia remain unchanged by time, except that the [[redneck|fine upstanding Christians]] have [[trolling|computers]] and drive [[cars]] now.

Virginia itself, with no [[niggers]] to slave in the fields (they all went to the coast) now relies on tourism for money so it now tries to milk it's [[racist|ethnic heritage]] for all it can. This usually involves telling poor fools from other states that [[shit nobody cares about|important things happened out here]] and trying to shovel them all into tourist traps along the coast.

With the rest of the world [[pussy|changing]] and Virginia staying the same, shit was bound to go bad sooner or later.

!]]

On April 16, 2007, [[VTech]] student [[Cho Seung-Hui]] [[Awesome|shot and killed 31]] of his fellow [[Jock|students]] before [[An hero|self-pwning]]. The police could not initially identify who Cho was, because he shot his own face off. The offical stance of [[VTech]] is that they do not know why Cho did this or that he was clinically insane. The truth is that he just got fed up.

Anyone west of the coast loves tormenting [[black chicks|blackie]], [[chink]], [[beaner]], [[fag]] and anyone else that does not fit the [[redneck|fine upstanding Christian]] mold.

Cho sat there and quietly took it like a good [[gook]] for years, taking therapy and telling himself that it would all be better when he went to college as [[lies|college kids are educated, unlike those rednecks]]! Then he got to college and found the same cracker-ass rednecks were there along with thousands more of their hillbilly cousins from the surrounding area.

Seeing himself surrounded by [[fail]]tastic wastes of inbred hick flesh, Cho did what any of us wish we had the balls to do: [[epic win|he started shooting]].

Of the students killed, only three were by accident: they were non-asshole out of state students who got in the line of fire. Afterward Cho shot himself because [[Lynch|he knew what Southern Justice looked like]].

About a year later, another guy, also [[true|non white]] gets to [[VTech]], is harassed by the same [[rednecks]] who didn't learn their lesson the first time, and proceeds to [[epic win|shoot up the entire cafeteria, including staff]]. Sadly, VTech tried to cover this one up in order to make the school look "safe". As part of the coverup, http://www.legitgov.org/vafusioncenterterrorassessment_b.pdf" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Virginia has identified us as terrorists. (See page 45.)

The next generation isn't any better! In 2009 a group of [[douchebag|high school students]] in Virginia were arrested and [[pwned]] by the [[FBI]] on [[drug|heroin]] charges. Also, chances are, the [[rednecks]] still haven't learned anything....

All of these students went to the same high school that Cho had and either attended [[VTech]] or were thinking of going to [[VTech]]. Starting to see a pattern?

Geography

The Virginia of today has two regions: northern Virginia (noVa), and real Virginia.

NoVa

NoVa is a vibrant [[fail|melting pot]] of yuppie [[Conservatism|conservative]] voters who will all die clutching their cellphones in the next harsh winter. The people of NoVA are so [[Global Warming|afraid of snow]] that the smallest flake will drive them into a panic, buying everything at the local [[food|Harris Teeter]] only to die in a forty-car pileup as they speed home while talking on their [[cell phone]]s.

The majority of these residents think that are geniuses, but in the end all sound like [[Dubya]] with a [[fag|lisp]]. Anywhere else could call the residents of NoVa [[asspie|fucking morons]]. Unfortunately, this is Virginia where people seem to think mixing [[booze]], [[mullet]]s and [[redneck|farm equipment]] is [[guro|a good idea]]. These pathetic examples of humanity are actually considered "smart" for Virginians. If you ever wondered why your politicians are so stupid, now you know.

NoVa locations
* Pentagon
* Richmond
* Washington DC

REAL Virginia

In real Virginia there are no towns, only rings of houses built around garbage dumps. Yeehaw! Virginia: come for the [[incest]] and stay for the [[Bestiality|pig-fucking]]! The twin centers of public life are the local church and the grocery store. At the church, residents learn about the hellish fate awaiting all of the heretic [[fag | homosexuals]] and [[Democrat]]s. At the grocery store, typically a Bloom's, shoppers and clerks operate at the flow rate of molasses.

The only breaks in the [[skeezer|white trash]] parade are the [[army|military bases]] and the shitholes that surround them. The only differences between military shitholes and non-military shitholes are a bunch of tourist traps created by rednecks wanting to make a quick buck from the military bases and the poor souls unfortunate enough to be stationed there. Ignore any hype that the residents of these areas may tell you: it's all a lie made to [[Jew Gold|part you from your money]].

The rest of Virginia....
* Blacksburg
* Hampton Roads
* Arlington
* Charlottesville
* Langley
* Henrico
* Stafford

Proof That Virginia Is The Gayest State In The Union Using Only 3 Pictures

Notable VA[[fag]]s

*[[White_Paw]]
*[[PETA]] (banned for furryness), NATO Headquartered in Norfolk
*[[Michael Vick]] from Newport News
*[[Pat Robertson]] from Virginia Beach
*[[Chris-chan/Places#Ruckersville, VA|Chris-chan]] from Ruckersville
*[[Meade Skelton]]
*[[Cho Seung Hui]]
*[[Gorgeous George]]
*[[Kevin Havens]]
*[[Friends of A-Log#Honorable Mention: PaganDeathKnight - The Wannabe Friend of A-Log|PaganDeathKnight]] from Roanoke.
*[[Jacob Sartorius]]
*[[Line Trap]]
*[[Fort Hood|Nidal Malik Hasan]]
*[[Pinkiepony]] from Virginia Beach
*http://www.vidmax.com/video/657/Disturbing_guy_is_in_love_with_his_real__45_dolls/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">this guy

[[Category: Locations]]