13-year-old boy

Also known as [[shota]], much like [[16-year-old girl]]s, 13-year-old boys can be found all over [[YouTube]] and [[Discord]] or, in a less popular but more concentrated population, [[Instagram]] or [[Reddit]]. They are easily recognized by their lack of an Adam's apple, pubic hair, undropped balls, nasally voices and microscopic penises. They make easy targets for [[drama]] baiting as their slavering worship of any popular culture and known [[fucktard]]s Adam Sandler, Coldplay, Fall Out Boy, [[Insane Clown Posse]], [[Slipknot]], [[Linkin Park]], and Tony Hawk has recently reached a fever pitch. Many times they are found in [[str8]], chat rooms lying about their age (preferring to be 18 year old boys), or in [[gay]] chat rooms. In that case, it is most likely they are 60-year-old male [[camwhore]]s who like to chat with 13-year-old boys. The typical 13-year-old boy also spends most of his free time reading [[Explosm|Cyanide & Happiness]] comics when hunting for more pictures to shove into his forum signature. When not online, 13-year-old boys can be found playing Candyland, [[Xbox Live]], and [[Yu-Gi-Oh]]!, as well as [[Masturbation|masturbating]] furiously to [[pr0n]], or trying to date as many girls as possible while generating [[lulz]].

They also, like 16-year-old girls, are proficient at [[statistics]]. For example, 92% of teenagers would cry if they were called a freak and have "moved on" from rock to [[rap]]. It is unclear whether this 92% are the same for each question polled. In fact, there is no record of any actual poll having taken place, but a million [[Facebook]] users putting this in their info can't be wrong.

[[tracing|depiction]] of a thirteen-year-old boy. [[Lies|It's actually quite]]
[[gay|accurate]].]]

While they are not as [[User:Miltopia|annoying]] as 16-year-old girls, they tend to have very bad spelling skills and like to say [[cool|koo]] a lot. They also enjoy cussing a lot because it's koo and teh fucking shit beyotch LOLLZ OMFG[[Oneoneone|!111]]. Beware that many of these 13-year-old boys are really [[FBI]] agents trying to entrap innocent members of [[NAMBLA]], who are just [[12chan|upstanding citizens out for a good time, as they say.]] 13-year-old boys make up [[at least 100|at least %1.00]] of the total teen population. Due to their rarity, a repopulation program is underway and [[you]] probably want to breed with them, you [[sick fuck]].

:"13 year old boys are total fuck tards who act gay and when I say gay, I mean GAY!!!!!! Like this one boy told this other boy to fuck his ass and then they started dry humping and then all their friends started laughing like they were the kewlest thing since the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. 13 year old boys should die!!!!" - An example of the language used by said tweens.

:""LOL DUED I SNIPED 4 WITH 1 BULLET. 1v1 ME NEUB"" -Typical 13 year old who calls himself a "hardcore gamer"

Overview

Charming naïveté

THINGS [[EVAR]]!!1]]
]]

13-year-old boys are easy as hell to manipulate via the [[Internet]] because of their trust of anyone they believe to be in authority and predominantly [[troll's remorse|remorseful nature]] once confronted with objections to whatever it is they're doing at the time. There are many ways to go about wrangling a 13-year-old boy, such as offers of [[candy]] or [[banhammer|threatening to have them banned]] from their favorite http://www.serebiiforums.com" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pokémon forum. Use your newfound control for [[pedophile|having them star in your latest YouTube submission]] or http://www.futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">enacting lulz-ridden revenge.

Some 13-year-old boys, however, don't give a dead moose. It is best to quote them on ED for the lulz.

Quotes by 13-year-old boys

.]]

I have a Command Prompt and I know how to use it

Due to numerous videos on the [[YouTube|JewTube]], many 13-year-old boys now have [[Script Kiddies|mad hacking skillz, yo!]] They can do shit-chill things with the Command Prompt such as change passwords EVEN IF THEY DON'T HAVE ADMIN PRIVILEGES!!!11 (lol, just take away background admin), [[Ddos|shut down your interwebs]], play [[Basement Dweller|MUDs]], create a fork bomb in [[Notepad]], and this:

Ambitions

]]
.]]
]]
13 year olds.]]
.

*[[Shit nobody cares about|TO MA3K TEH F1RST COMMENTS!!!!11!!LOLZ]]
*2 B FIRST RANK ON THER [[Counter-Strike|CS]] SERVER!!!!
*To bang [[klarawagner|Klara Wagner]].
*To become GM in any game.
*To be a [[ghetto]] nigger.
*To be a [[ninja]].
*To be a [[Guitar Hero|rockstar]].
*To have [[buttsecks]] with [[faggot|each member of Slipknot]].
*To be [[bisexual]] ([[Truth|girls think bi dudes are HAWTT!]])
*To be in the [[Military|Delta Force]], just like in bLaCk HaWk dOwN[[!|!!!!!!!]]
*To [[shit nobody cares about|beat "Through Fire And Flames" on Expert]].http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9OXpbHprN4&NR=1 Guitar Hero Troll LULZ
*To cuss a lot (which they all do).
*To [[Fellatio|fellate]] Herman Li.
*To get a [[girlfriend]] that doesn't live in the same house.
*To [[No life|get a life]].
*To [[Secks|get laid]] by someone other than [[your mom]] lol.
*To get level 138 on [[Runescape]]!!!1!1!
*To get their [[Cock|penises]] [[over 9000]] inches.
*To [[rape|impregnate]] 16-year-old girls.
*To know something other than jack shit about [[drugs]].
*To launch [[Trey Burba|b0mBs]] at skool!!
*To master Farmville on [[Failbook|Facebook]]
*To make it to 14 years old.
*To post pictures of their childlike faces on /b/.
*To raise their status in the server from 3 to [[over 9,000]].
*To see [[Britney Spears]] live!!
*To sprout ball hair.
*To revive [[Kurt Cobain|dead 90s guitarists]] to play in their shitty bands.
*To be a [[Retard|1337 H4x0r]].
*To get the [[Internets]].
*To be [[Awesome]] No luck yet, you could be the first!
*To get [[Portal]] not illegally, let alone beat it.
*To be a [[Half-Life|Physicist and Psychiatrist that beats head crabs with crowbars]]
*To Bootnuke the school computer system.
*[[Shit nobody cares about|To perform a correct SQL injection into a message board]]
*To see [[Slipknot]].
*To drink more Monster Energy drinks than [[You]].
*To have [[sex]], which will never happen.
*To get more views on [[JewTube]] than [[Fred]].
*To not get held back again.
*To e-date every girl on the [[Internets|Internets]]. No matter how ignorant they are of [[Rules of the Internet|Rule 30]]
*To watch every episode of [[Family Guy]].
*To finally dislodge their father's 14" nigger penis out of their bleeding assholes. This is the cause of their butthurt.

How 2 be cool

*Be [[Cool]].
*Buy an [[Xbox]].
*Never spell anything correctly when on your Internet (oh, and always use [[ALL CAPS]]).
*Say random [[Spongebob Squarepants]] quotes to teh guys.
*Shout out any Internet [[meme]] that pops into your little [[ADD]]-ridden head.
*Watch [[porn]].

The very best of 13-year-old boys

Some footage of [[Shota|horny faggot boys]] [[Asking for it|begging for a butt-raping]].

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13-year-old boys on Xbox Live

13-year-old Boys can frequently be found being [[1337|1337]] and racist on [[Xbox Live|Xbox Live]]. They often play Halo or Call of Duty and can most likely be found by taking note of [[sXe|how many X's they place on the front of their name]]. They usually try and join clans and partake in [[Gay|clan]] [[orgy|battles]] and when anyone accuses their clan of being [[Gay|gay]] they will [[RAGE|rage]] and start asking for a 1 v 1 battle (which they will likely [[fail|loose]] which will result in much [[lulz]]).

The best ways to make fun of 13-year-old boys on [[Xbox Live|Xbox Live]] are:
*Call them [[gay]]/a [[queer]].
*Say their clan is [[gay]].
*Say their gamertag is [[gay]].
*Say nothing but [[your mom]] jokes.
*Tell them it's past their bedtime.
*Tell them to [[An Hero|kill themselves.]]
*Tell them to play Viva Pinata.
*Tell them to stop talking until their balls drop.
*Tell them that there are [[Rules of the Internet|no girls on the internet]].
*Tell them that they suck at the game.
*Tell them that their gamerscore sucks.
*Tell them to calm down, and that [[MW3]] is 'just a game'.

A break in the monotony?

Some 13-year-old boys could end up being your boss one day. These are called the nerd-teen-old boys. They relish in the fact that they might be able to rule you with the iron fist of robot armies with the help of the azns and weeaboos. Others are actually kind and act unlike [[You're/Your|they are]] age [[What|and can be a valuable experience]]. They most likely end up in a psychiatrist's office when the school bullies have insulted them one too many times and they end up cutting a bitch.

Fun facts

*13-year-old boys don't have to be 13. They can be [[MySpace Kid|10]] to 15 to [[daxflame|16]]. They can even go as far as 18. As they say, [[pedophile|the younger the better]].
*Don't bother [[pwn|pwning]] a 13-year-old boy; he will say "[[Your Mom]]" or "[[Noob|You´re a noob]]", resulting in [[Fail|EPIC WIN]]...
*It is totally legal to rape a 13-year-old boy, as long as you do it with a condom and don't get caught.
*Every single 13 year old boy must [[Fellatio|beg]] to get his way.
*Every 13 year old boy [[Pretty cool guy|kills aliens and doesn't afraid of anything]].
*Every 13-year-old boy must bot to win PC games.
*Every 13-year-old boy has to read every single Harry Potter book.
*Every 13 year old boy will [[C-NOTE|annoy the shit out of you]] no matter how or where.
*To humiliate a 13-year-old boy, just mention to him that the average penis size is 5.75 inches, then mention that at his age you were 10". Watch the tears flow.
*Every 13 year old boy will cry when you say ninjas do not exist.
*Every 13 year old boy will die when you look at them in the eye and say "Nick Jonas".
*Every 13 year old boy will go through a Behemoth-obsessed phase.
*Every 13 year old boy has watched every episode of [[South Park]].
*Every 13 year old boy has played Guitar Hero, Halo and Call of Duty.
*Every time a 13 year old boy loses, he will come up with any and every excuse as to reasons why.
*Every 13 year old boy masturbates; the ones who say they don't actually do, except they fap to gay porn.
*All 13 year old boys don't know what "[[gay]]" or "[[fag]]" mean.
*Any screen name/account name associated with said 13 year old boy will be surrounded by "xXfaggy name hereXx"
*13 year old boys will sometimes impersonate an Admin of [[Steam]], [[CS]], or any other [[Shit|shitty]] [[Family guy|overrated]] game. They will always do it poorly. When they are caught, they will normally cry their faggy little eyes out, resulting in epic lulz. (see here http://www.futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914])." class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">*13 year old boys possess only partially developed human brains that will not be fully developed and functional for [[Never|quite a while]. As such, they are unable to respond to anything other than [[Exploding Van|explosions]], [[Offended|gore]], and [[tits]], and cannot process more than the most [[black]] and [[white]] of plots, which naturally explains their reverence for games such as [[Halo]] and [[Call of Duty]], and movies like [[Transformers]] and [[Saw]].
*13 year old boys are incapable of independent thought, and can only form opinions on [[religion]] and [[politics]] based on those of friends, family members, and, in particular, those of the [[Faux News|popular media]].
*Most of the time, they know little to nothing about whatever religion and politics they follow, aside from [[Black Jesus|the name of whoever happens to be the leader of it at the time]], yet will defend it nearly endlessly if challenged to an argument over it, until they lose and go home crying, before coming up with some [[bullshit]] to convince themselves [[Lie|that they were right after all]].

Gallery

See also

*[[12 year old girls|12]] & [[16-year-old girl]]s
*[[30 Seconds To Mars]]
*[[Bright Neon Nike Shirt]] - What they most commonly wear.
*[[Hypothetical-Kun]]
*[[I'm 12 years old and what is this?]]
*[[Immaturity]]
*[[Justin Bieber]]
*[[Mark Foley]] - A [[GOP|gay old pedophile]] who is [[sick fuck|hungry]] for [[13 year old boy|13 year old boys]].
*[[Michael Jackson]]
* [[Generation Z]]
*[[Michelle Lyn Taylor]] - Wants to be touched by every 13-year-old boy.
*[[Pedobear]]
*[[Puberty]]
*[[Prostitute|Selena Gonads]]
*[[Shotacat]]
*[[Skript kiddie]]
*[[Slipknot]]
*[[Soulja Boy]]
*[[T. Reginald Gibbons]] - Wants to [[molest|protect]] every 13-year-old boy.
*[[Teenager]]
*[[The_Cancer|The Cancer]]
*[[Ultraviolet News Network]]
*[[Xbox Live]] - The place where they can most often be found being [[troll|a pain in the ass]].

Notable 13-year-old boys

and a 15 or 16-year-old girl start their full work day at [[Scientology]], Melbourne. They could be your boss. This is normal.]]
-diagnosed 13-year-old boy.]]
*[[Ahmed Mohamed]] - Had fifteen minutes of fame in 2015 for bringing a bomb-looking clock to school.
*[[Angry German Kid]]
*[[BodyXPolitic]]
*[[BrandontheMovieGuy]]
*[[Clayranger89]]
*[[Cheddar-Cheesia]]
*[[DaxFlame]]
*[[DJ Skeptik]]
*[[Dog264]]
*[[Dragongirl66]]
*Every single [[YTMND]] user.
*[[Flameviper]]
*[[Flardox]]
*[[GoAnimate]] users
*[[HTS-Noob]]
*[[Jawsus]]
*[[Joshu2uber]]
*[[Justin Bieber]]
*[[Kaelin Marion]]
*[[Maarten]]
*[[Mitchell Henderson]]
*[[League of Legends|Morello]]
*[[MySpace Kid]]
*[[Faggot|Palencia]]
*[[76chan#Userbase|Penisboat]]
*[[Sam Leeson]]
*[[Homo|Smellen Poo]]
*[[The rEactor]] - acts like one even though he's 16.
*[[Trey Burba]]
*[[You]]
*[[Youngconservative]]
*[[YouTube Poop]] creators

Internet hangouts

*[[4chan]]
*[[Call Of Duty]]
*[[Instagram]]
*[[Snapchat]]
*[[Garbage|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[Failbook]]
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Gmod]]
*[[Habbo Hotel]]
*[[Soldier Of Fortune II]]
*[[Twatter]]
*[[Tumblr]]
*[[World of Warcraft]]
*[[Xbox Live]]
*[[YouTube]]
**[[YouTube Poop]]
*[[YTMND]]
*[[Fortnite]]

External links

*http://giga-xisbass.deviantart.com" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Typical 13-year-old boy's deviantart. ALSO IS A FURRY WHO TALKS IN ALL CAPS.
*http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-a-teenage-guy-get-an-erection-just.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Can a teenage guy get an erection just from hugging a girl?
*https://archive.is/Nu8a0" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Typical 13-year-old boys love sex and video games.
*http://soundclick.com/share?vid=45825&bid=792905" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Textbook Example of a "funny" 13-year-old.
*http://www.xfamily.org/index.php?title=Loving_Jesus&stable=0&shownotice=1#For_12-year-olds" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Loving Jesus for 13-year-old boys
* https://archive.is/dKUEO" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Your average 13 year old boy that's a wannabe fatass "sk8borrder", likes pop punk, and cries like a faggot

YouTubes

*http://www.youtube.com/user/sku7nk14" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A shining example.
*http://www.youtube.com/theclassicdjs" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Moar shota...
*http://www.youtube.com/user/joekchannel" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Just for good measure.
*http://www.youtube.com/user/daredevilmike1" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Typical wannabe 13-year-old boy.
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJYbWYDpraE" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Typical 13-year-old fag with a shitty video.

[[Category:cliques]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]