AQ Worlds
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Adventure Quest Worlds is a generically-titled [[Jewnited States of Americunts|American]] [[MMORPG]] with the sole purpose of sucking away your younger sibling's life, money, soul and intelligence. It is a [[hell|wasteland]] of wasted money, 15-minute releases, broken promises, 12 year olds, [[13 year old|trolls]] and lots and lots of [[Brazil|Brazilians]].
OFFICE MAX
It was a dark and stormy night in the [[Florida|secret underground facility]] and the AE team made up of [[nerd|evil]] [[jews]] were scheming as usual.
"I have one of the greatest money grubbing idea's jewkind has had since banks!" Announced Artix to his legion of scam artists.
"We'll pose as a free flash [[MMORPG]] and lure in all the poor kids who can't afford [[WoW|World of Warcraft]]. Then we'll suck away the few dollars they have!" and at the moment of agreement amongst the Jewish community, AQWorlds was born. Their scheme rivals the sub-prime mortgage loan scams of Wells Fargo and AIG except they trick small children into buying "Membership" and "Adventure Coins" instead of ghetto black people! The Staff makes you think you're paying for an MMORPG, when you're really paying for a dress up chat room full of trolls!
AQWorlds is [[bad|irreplaceable]] amongst the gaming community, and is played by over four [[nerds|people]]. [[KKK|AQW]] is also a crowd space for many [[scene]] kids, skater kids, [[13 year old|trolls]] and [[pedobear]]. These are actual kids, so destroy them before they can evolve into their [[Gay|teenager]] form.
The game has a very [[Autism|special]] kind of humor, much like an adult or [[party van|FBI agent]] trying to relate to [[cancer|4channers]].
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Despite the fact that it's totally flash based they manage to lag your four thousand dollar PC more than [[Crysis]] just by adding a handful of pets into the game. Other then that, the characters run in some demonic sideways form to make up for the lack of 3D space.
AQworlds also shows the most advanced security system on the internet, which is made up of schoolyard tactics of http://www.aq.com/aw-designnotes.asp" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">bluffing in the design notes, which is also full of shameless self advertisement on pretty much every site you can think of.
GamePlay (yet to be released)
There is no gameplay.
AQWorlds is a flash based game with graphics only toddlers could love.
The characters are made of 2D sprites that run up and down the screen while their legs move in an awkward forward motion.
The game is composed primarily of doing quests that are meant to be "fun", except you end up having to kill the same mofo over again 20 times to pick up the "differently titled" shit they crapped out. The cardboard cut out/brain-dead NPCs that give the shitty quests don't even look at you or move for fear of being charged AC taxes like the players.
The quest lines are usually boring and completable within 15 minutes of starting a new area. All of the items in game do the same damage from fucking dildo cunt sausage-chucks to the almighty beta blue balls star sword. All armor is purely aesthetic and by no means does anything to protect your sorry ass from anything from dragon fire to the level 100 lag monster in every room. Instead you are able to enhance these worthless pieces of shit and data by purchasing level related "Enhancements". Some smart and clever AQW players that taught themselves how to read and write (a rare happening on AQdubz) have made "Class Builds and Recommendations" guides on forums. Don't ever listen to this flaming lying pile of goose shit as each class is best with all luck enhancements which just so happen to be sold by the big green mutton chop wearing faggot; Cysero himself. Every enhancement except for luck is pointless and blows more chunks out the ass then a cholera infected infant in Zimbabwe.
The closest thing AQDubz ever came to adding actual gameplay would be when hentai-lolicon animator Milton Pool now known as Nulgath, tried to create his own area hoping to make the game a little less gay. Milton's area was meant to be an "end-game" area for players that had done all of Cysero's 15 minute releases and wondered why there weren't any that lasted 30 minutes. Milton decided he wanted to release an area that would take more than 30 minutes to release and so the rest of the staff (Cysero) blew a gasket and beat him to death swiftly. The area was then shut down and re-opened after Cysero wiped his greasy hands all over it, only after using them to clean his brown, dukey stained ass first. As time went on this zone began to grow in popularity and players almost began enjoying the game again. Cysero didn't like this one bit and thus arranged to have the zone destroyed and built up from the bottom for non-members and quest loading Brazilians to enjoy. As a parting gift, Cysero wanted to fuck over the paying members further and released all of their shiny Tercessuinotlim shit for free and allowed them to be quest loaded for a good year before finally throwing them into the "rare forever" pile. Tercessuinotlim has now been largely replaced by Daggot The Feeble and his legion shit tokens, a sad, wannabe mockery of a formerly decent zone. What is left of the scorched earth Tercessuinotlim area are of all of Milton's unreleased artz shoved into Juggernigger items of Nulgath. After holding him across his lap and spanking his ass, Cysero banished Milton from AQdubz land and forced him to make his own MMORPG if he wanted to fuck with his paycheck. Milton's name and humanity/human rights were also revoked as he was changed to Nulgath, a fat grody alien rapist bug as part of his
Just about everything in AQdubz from items to inventory space needs "Adventure Coins" to unlock (see big Mr.AC_AC). AE follows a mob mentality marketing model in order to make profits. They have over 9,000 rares pumped into the game annually. In order for the players to feel like they didn't miss out on Daygez seckzi aurtz, the poor imbeciles are compelled to shill out their lives savings in order to buy up the almighty pixels before they go rare forever. This is a weekly occurrence.
Players can by and customize their own houses which you must buy from a company called "Centaur 21," an extremely [[original]] name for a real estate company. All of the houses are either claustrophobic ghettos or cardboard boxes with "wooden" furniture. You can buy better items for your fap-pad but you need to give some head to Mr.AC_AC first before he says it's okay.
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Notes
# The "color" and "size" parameters refer to the quotation marks—not the text.
# The "textColor" and "textSize" parameters refer to the text.
# The "sourceColor" and "sourceSize" parameters refer to the text for the quoted persons or source.
# If you want to change the color and size variables, you must declare the parameter explicitly (i.e. you must include "color=" or "size=").
# If you want to change the size parameter, then you must include a unit of measurement (e.g. %, px, pt).
# If a parameter value contains an equals sign, the parameter name must be declared explicitly." This means that if you want to include a URL in your quote, and if that URL contains an equals sign, then you must explicitly declare the parameter. All that means is that you should add "1=", "2=", or "3=", as appropriate, ahead of your quote text, speaker, or source, like this:
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Game Rules
Adventure Quest Worlds is a child friendly game, meaning that unless your parents net worth is less than 5 million dollars, you're not allowed to act like an autistic sexually deprived virgin (See 18bc). Once you have done the above: Congratulations! You are now free to talk about anything on AQW as long as it's related to what your favorite naval commander is or complain about how you are going to write a 5 page petition for getting trolled on a 2D game with recorded evidence!
Under no circumstances should you let anyone suspected of buying an account go, since players that didn't pay 7,000 dollars to load rares on their account are most likely to steal attention from other naval commander wearing pros, making you less relevant when you /afk in yulgar.
Don't be scared to talk about how you've sent multiple pictures of your crooked dick to underaged AQW [[guys|girls]]. Pedophilia on AQW is NOT enforced and is heavily encouraged by (ex)moderators with their own epic personal items. If you're somehow not a 2008 player and are retarded enough to want to hang out around the pro AQW players you can just apply to become a moderator and get your own faggot pirate armors so that they will notice you. Having an AQW twitter is also very important and the primary source for roleplaying and taking screenshots of your friends wearing the same set as you so that people know you're from 2008 still playing this shit game.
While casually having a fat wank to your naval commander and you see someone attempting to troll you or move their character and types /dance behind you, make sure you resolve this like any severely autistic person in their 20s would and do one of the following.
*Threaten to tell one of your several moderator friends that someone is trolling you on AQW
*Equip your alpha pirate that one of your equally brain damaged mod friends helped you load.
*Recite the rules of AQW that you spent 10 years memorizing to show you are on the deepest end of the spectrum.
*Write a strongly worded letter detailing how trolls have devalued the 7,000 dollars you've spent on AQW
*Tell them how much money your dad made last year so that trolls know they are inferior to you in every way
*Record yourself playing AQW 24/7 because so no rulebreakers go unseen
*Tell them that they will never get the code to your custom AQW weapon that you bought with your dads multi-billion company funds
If at any time you are caught by Artix Entertainment breaking the rules of AQW, make sure to remind them how much money you've spent to get your OG set from 2008 loaded onto your shitty account and they are sure to revoke any mutes or bans on your account.
Story
The AQ Worlds storyline is your typical cliché Good vs. Evil with purple in it; the Lemon Party king and Darth Asshole are fighting over the fate of the universe when an outrageous purple faggot named Drakath comes in and gives the two every STD known to man. He then proceeds to grab Darth’s balls and break them turning the entire Evil faction into a recolored Good faction led by Ms. Fanservice herself. Drakath then goes on about some shit about his Lords of Chaos who end up fodder at the end of the day anyway.
Shit seems pretty cool for the new AQ Worlds players so far with these revolutionary new assholes to plunge their Default Swords into while Quibble Coinbiter makes his debut after Artix is forced to pay legal and insurance fees for accidentally reversing his shitbox car over a baby.
*First comes Escherion; some purple nigger who flipped and turned upside-down the entire town of Mobius harder than the Fresh Prince of Shit himself. Artix rammed a shitload of monsters into the member preview for the Escherion arc and made the players grind through a few hundred thousand. This was too easy for them all so he added another six billion which made a lot of people mad. Then someone just cheated their way into the Boss room and got all the cool drops.
:A week later the arc was released for all the free players and everyone just botted for rewards and such. Escherion ends up getting beat like a bitch and raped when the Hero pulls a mirror out of his/her ass to reflect spells and shit.
*Second are the Twins that nobody gives a shit about because they get pushed to the side. The Twins are just used as a big plot device for everything that goes wrong in the AQ Worlds storyline now because the writers got tired of this shit long ago. There was also that whole Sneevil war that nobody ever gave a shit about because all the drops were reused.
*Third came a pleasant purple penis pounder named Vath who abolished anti-slavery laws in Dwarfhold and forced all the nigger dwarves to farm for cotton. The Vath arc brought along with it meatgrinding for reputation and butthurt of epic proportions over Vath’s armor – the recolored Evolved Dragonlord. Players who upgraded in DragonFable insisted that they should have exclusive rights to the armor and players who upgraded in AQ Worlds told them to fuck off. This back-and-forth fighting ended in some invalid staff member saying that Evolved Dragonlord was his personal item and it would never be released.
:All in all this was the same thing as the Escherion arc with the same generic ambiguous demise. Vath gets carried away by a giant dragon to be raped over and over till purple blood spills out his elfin ass.
The rest are just as shitty. If I were to actually bother listing all of these I would just be doing exactly what Cysero does to this day – regurgitate the same content over and over. Just play Final Fantasy or something if you want repetitive bullshit.
Special Events
On top of a storyline that seems to be written by 3rd-graders, AKA the brain-child of the office's [[college]] [[slut]] Beleen with her big [[tits]] but no [[brain]], AQ Worlds has [[special]] events and releases used as an excuse for players to pay even more [[money]] for rip-off Adventure Coin items they don't need on top of membership. Apart from AE being a bunch of [[jew|gold grabbing cheapskates]], the reason for the constant plague of Adventure Coin items is due to only about 1% of the [[children|player-base]] actually paying for upgrades! The other part of the player-base numbering at a whopping 99% are completely [[poor|non member]] and don't ever pay for a thing because they're too [[poor]] in [[Brazil]] or are only three years old in America! Smart right? So since if the [[Brazil|Brazilians]] and [[Children|Chillins]] can't get a job/beg their parents to pay for membership, Lord Cysero took it out on those who can pay by slowly turning them into rare hunting zombie [[faggots]] and mind washing them into buying AC item after AC item in order to support the strain those silly non members put on the AQ World's already crippled bandwidth. To add some perspective on how effective this has been so far in supporting the game, think of the servers running as fast as a one-legged donkey pulling a cart of iron bricks.
The "special events" largely consist of Cysero sending Beleen to [[blow job|cock suck]] mediocre musical talents in order to convince and bribe them with the price of a large pizza so that they agree to guest star in the shitty game. However, when they cannot find a mediocre musical talent to cock suck/bribe, they resort to the only thing they do best which is re-releasing last years holiday event shops. [[Not|Resourceful!!!]]
Most of these events including the re-used ones come with a special [[cunt|vag-badge]] to show that you were one of the dumb fucks who actually played through the shit fest of fail and wasted at least 15 minutes of your pathetic life.
Some of these magically queer events are!:
===Musical===
*[[Emo|Voltaire]]! Too cool to turn down yet another one Beleen's sloppy wet blow jobs!
*One Eyed Doll and the bat-shit [[insane]] lead singer Kimberly!
*[[Ginger|Johnathan Coultrane]] (who actually didn't do shit except flip Cysero off at the last minute!)
*[[China|Ayi Jihu]]! A fugly escaped [[Chink|Chinese]] prostitute who is constantly being chased by the fear of being captured by [[communism|communists]] and taken back for [[rape]] and beatings!
*[[Nerds|ArcAttack]] Nerds that play with lightning because they think its cool getting your ballz zapped!
Talentless
*[[Old|George Lowe]]! The one and only decrepit old man who voiced Space Ghost! After being given a [[blumpkin]] at an unnamed con, he agreed to do one of AQ World's countless Friday the 13th events! [[Bondage|His whereabouts are currently unknown but is thought to be chained up naked in AE's basement]], kept alive off stale crackers and water only so that he can continue to voice every last one of the companies god awful commercials! I bet he wishes he turned down that [[blow job]] and skinny Indie Company Pay Check!
*[[Loser|Paul and Storm]]!: Do you know who the fuck these dangle berries are? That's right, you don't. Because nobody does. Kidnapped and forced to do AQ World's second upholder birthday bash these completely unmemorable gays reflect the AQW Spirit.
*[[CTRL ALT Delete|CTRL ALT Delete]]: [[Tim Buckley|Tim Buckley]] and his uncreative plagiarist antics. Cysero found Fuckley after trawling through the net for ideas to steal for AQW and the two made a deal; Fuckley gets to promote his shitty webcomics through AQW and Cysero gets a free plot. Little did Cysero know that Fuckley was shittier at writing than Beleen after a long hard session of anal without lube. The release sucked and Cysero threw Fuckley out on his ear.
*[[Mu/|They Might Be Giants]]: TMBG is some shitty band that no one knows about. A rumor following their debut in AQW is that They Might Be Gay after the TMBG cast were seen walking out of Cysero's rape dungeon clutching their behinds. See also; Vindicator of They.
Yearly Holidays!
As stated earlier AQW thrives off reused and recycled shit. From artwork and events to condoms and toilet paper, the AQW staff will reuse just about everything they can get their cheap and uncreative hands on. AQW reuses a lot of things, but tweaks art a bit so it almost looks a bit different! AQW reuses everything for each release! AQW reuses things from previous releases in almost every new release! This shitty section reuses the same fucking fact over and over to reinforce this point! In AQW it's is what they do best, reuse! This method of reuse has been used since the beginning of AQW to minimize the already nonexistent workload that doesn't start getting done until a few hours before the release!
Events include;
*A shitty Halloween-styled event!
*Shitty Thanksgiving-styled event!
*Shitty Christmas-styled event, only you're paying AE for your gifts!
*Shitty Japanese Chinese New Year-styled event!
*Shitty Valentines Day-styled event!
*Hero's Heart Day!
*April Fools, with the real fool being the stupid fuck who pays for this!
*Faggots' birthdays!
*Faggots' weddings!
*Any other shit that can be used as an excuse for profit!
===Alpha Asspiracy===
One day Captain Rhubarb had a few too many bottles of [[booze|gin]], [[vodka]], [[alcohol|rum]], [[alcohol|absinthe]], [[beer]] and dog urine to drink while at work, thus was inspired to go on a drunken rampage around the lab. It was said he raped each of the [[slut|female]] workers twice, threw thirty seven swivel chairs through the windows onto the street, jizzed on Cysero's monitor four times, and urinated on the rug and fake plants thereafter, he finally smashed down his fists on his keyboard until every single account made during the Alpha period of AQ Worlds was deleted. After Rhubarb woke up from this drunken spectacle (though common in Irish workplaces) he realized that what he had done was a major no-no and Artix was [[disappoint]]! He sought to make amends with the [[retarted|confused]], account-less and bawling players who had spent so much time and money farming to level 10 during Alpha! Rhubarb decided to give these players rogue class with a black pirate coat on it! The faggots loved it! But all was still not well in the lab. Cysero and Artix realized that Rhubarb had given this class out for [[tits|FREE]], and while sober to boot!! That definitely wouldn't do, they had planned to charge players a year of membership in order to get their accounts back. So they schemed, plotted and [[rage|raged]] in the Jew-Cave until eventually, Talk Like a Black Naval Commander was born!
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Every September from that point on an expensive AC shop was opened, selling recolored versions of the Alpha Faggots' precious class with a slew of other shit-tier items thrown together at the last minute. This bred feelings of jealousy among the Alpha-phase players.
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The irony in this is that the same fags who bought the first Navals raged with twice the intensity over the blue recolor. In 2010 the legion of fags united under a single anti re-recolor banner to protest the coming of the Assy Naval Commander.
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In 2013, leading down syndrome researchers discovered a revolutionary method to treat the most severe of mental retardation and passed it down to the Israelites known as Artix Entertainment to be released as the Wheel of Doom. The mental asylum known as AQW drooled at the idea that they could piss away 100 dollars for a gay pirate armor or pay 500 dollars to have the legendary alpha pirate loaded onto their account. All the faggots with the original Naval Asseater armors unleashed rage with all the might of their extra chromosome because the only self esteem they had came from having a nigger color pirate armor.
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Rhubarb got demoted, Alpha Faggots got trolled, Cysero profited.
The Moglin Kickstarter
In the year 2018, with only 2,000 players left on AQW, the AE team traveled to Israel seeking a desperate plan to have the remaining playerbase cough up every last shekel in their parents bank accounts. Every Rabbi in all of Greenguard heard Alina's call. With the combined power of every Jew they used their Jew magic and came up with the ultimate money maker, a Moglin kickstarter. The plan was to make some shitty stuffed rats and hand out custom weapons to the real-world rejects who wanted to be noticed on AQW in addition to giving a class to retards who spent more than 120 dollars. They used their ugly Mexican slave Vesper to promote the kickstarter so it would attract the farm of virgins that play AQW to fill their pockets before Hanukkah started.
Everyone in AE took to Twitter to promote their inbred stuffed rats in hopes that the faggots that had AQW dedicated Twitter accounts would help promote their shitty fundraiser. Every faggot with an AQW Twitter let out cries of how AQW is dead, despite even the most braindead players knowing AQW is going to be empty by next year. Many people realized AE's classic Jewish shit, but the most autistic of the AQW fanbase obliviously emptied their wallets in hopes of getting attention on AQW with a custom weapon. This shit quickly became a popularity contest amongst the few that have spent thousands on AQW, money that could've been used to cure AIDS from their Nigerian relatives.
After a day, over 20 autists already took the bait and spent over 500 dollars for a worthless custom weapon for attention on a game struggling to reach 2,000 players. When AE realized they had underestimated how retarded their playerbase was, they quickly added a 700 dollar option for some more retards. As expected, most dumb fucks that bought a custom item had unoriginal ideas that were either remakes of some old shit they couldn't get or just some tasteless dick weapon to match their naval commander. Everybody immediately scurried to their little computers and wrote down lists of irrelevant people to give them popularity by giving them their dogshit weapon.
In the end no one actually gave a fuck about any of the worthless stuffed coons and people realized having some autistic kid's custom weapon wouldn't actually get their dicks wet, despite AE walking away with 200k that they scammed from their players.
The Wheel of Doom V2
Sometime after the Jews over at Artix Entertainment banked over $200,000 from the retarded fanbase of AQW, they released the Wheel of Doom V2, this shekel stealing device allows minors to gamble with their parents VISA card, under the visage of an indie flash game. This Wheel comes with an Epic Item of Donated Awesomeness and if you're to poor to afford the $2,000 buy in to get it, you can spend $700 dollars to get a personal reach around from Rolith and any one rare from a "donor" account that hasn't bought any ac's in over a month. It's like secret Santa for Asperger's! Lil-Tay's autistic friends can be seen flexing their potions to other players, letting everyone know that they just spent $700 of daddy's money to get a 30 minute flash art. Don't worry though if you don't have the money for the Wheel, you can sell all your rares for a few spins and then buy back your rares for full price! It's a win-win!
The Dage vs. Nulgath War
It was another dark and stormy night in the Jewcave when Cysero, unsatisfied with the monthly net income from AC purchases, was plotting his next big in-game money making scam. Things were not looking good at the AE HQ; Artix had freed himself from the basement and run down the halls, shit and semen dripping from his gaping asshole as he ran for the exit. In his attempt for freedom he had knocked down a number of priceless crystalline dicks and managed to fuck Daimyo, the company mascot, in his doggy ass twice before being subdued.
An idea came to him as Beleen stumbled into his office covered in bruises and more shit than a nigger after anal in a pigpen. She was filing another complaint for sexual harassment when Cysero noticed her bruises; blue and gray. Blue and gray, just like Steven "Daeg Eval" Griffin's insipid WoW-inspired Undead Legion.
Meanwhile at the shit shack, Orange County, CA, Miltonius was busy not giving a fuck and jerking off to Akumi when his inbox was shitflooded by the AE team.
"Milton Pool, we know we fucked up bad and analed your zone hard but we need money, so we're giving Dage rights to your intellectual property so he can write a shitty background story and then kick the shit out of you in a massive AC-filled online war! Also we reported you to the FBI for uploading lolicon from the lab. Best wishes, Adam Bohner"
Milton read the email, called Dave an alleged bitch, and flagged the email and sender for spam. With a shit not given he opened up Flash and started to draw Artix fucking Cysero's wallet with a big alien cock.
Part 1
Across the world there were thousands, no, tens of thousands of faggots glued to their screens awaiting the release. Hordes of Brazilians and Filipinos who had spent days sitting in their own refuse for the release, the Dage vs. Nulgath war. White kids with their parents' credit cards and fat middle aged pedophiles from basements across America and Europe would join forces in this war to combat their foe.
The servers went down, and silence followed. One minute, two minutes, three, this was the time spent by the AQW design team on making the quests. Cysero turned to Dage and asked for the hundredth time "Steven, are you sure that your quests are working? We don't want to give free content to those monkey-fucking Brazilians."
Dage drooled a bit, but did not reply. The quests were finished, and the servers were put back up. Immediately the horde of faggots rushed in to find that their precious 1,200AC Legion was being farmed by Brazilians. As it turns out Daeg Eval did not check to see if his quests were secure and Legion-exclusive. The results were devastating; scores of Brazilians rushed to Dage's side to farm for free shit while Steven himself licked his monitor.
The Nulgath fans, butthurt at this outraged cried endlessly on Twitter, and the ripped-off Dagot fans demanded retribution on the forums. Cysero told both to fuck off and did what he does best; nuke everything and release some AC items. Kids cried, Aranx sided with Dage in exchange for buttsex and later got into an argument with Revontheus about how to draw a stick man. Aranx was crowned Dage 2.0 and Revontheus a little girl who cries about online arguments. Bots were made for easy farming and the first round went to Daeg. The Nulgath army stopped giving a fuck about halfway and went off to bot for Juggernaut items.
By the end of the week the death toll for Dage vs. Nulgath rose to six; four players killed themselves over Dage selling out their Legion for free, one killed himself because his precious Nulgath lost, and the last one died from malnutrition. His step-mother found him in the basement in front of his PC, decomposing and surrounded by feces and empty KFC buckets.
Part 2
Obviously Daggot the Faggot won because [[Assault|black and blue]] is "so [[Not|coolz0rs]]!!!1", and it took two and a half fucking years for Miltonius to catch up; with a ratio of 1000:3 (Dage:Miltonius). As another laggy ass Friday came by, they updated the shops of precious rarz11!!, and with it everyone with a brain bigger than an eraser head profited on Dage's behalf, Cysero did not like this; so he rigged the [[Retard|ALREADY]] rigged war into Miltonius' favor to scorn Dage for his shitty teal items. The war quickly escalated to 1-1 Dage/Milt. Aranx, from here on out named Daeg2, was an all out faggot and sucked so much of Daeg Evuls cock it re-wired his brain; was being a fag on twitter like usual until he got called out by one of Miltonius' faggot "apprentices", in which sparked a four minute firefight of words of which there were no survivors.
During this, Dagay proceeded to shit bricks about his losing and wrote an http://www.twitlonger.com/show/if1uam" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">elongated asspained response, bitching about such retardation as being tag-teamed by the fat, quadruped slug Nulgath and his anorexic weaboo stableboy Revontheus. It was during this fit of rage and shit-flinging that he offered his abysmal Paragay armor, decked in the typical fugly-looking black skulls and a cape that had been torn up after being furiously anal-fucked by his former master. To counter, Revonthenig offered the Miltonius armor, that which housed the being that would evolve into the faggoty six-eyed rapist alien we have the misfortune to be meatgrinding items for today. However, it was unfortunate that neither of these cunts fucked about the promises they made with Cysero, even if they only served to fuel the mindless tryhard horde of rabiest-infested Brazilians and botters that fight their glitchy, shitty-planned war for them.
Part 3
Well this shit is just getting repetitive. Miltonius stopped giving a shit long ago and Revontheus was out of commission after being flamed by Dage and his buttchum Aranx for stealing Dage's famous Dork Caster. With Miltonius' artwork factory gone the Asian rape artist was forced to pick up his damn pencil and do some work for himself.
The servers went down. More quests were written at the last minute, and the backgrounds from Miltonius' own game were ripped and stuffed into AQW's database. The servers flared back to life and so began a Brazilian shitflood of biblical proportion. After burning ten minutes trying to load properly players rushed to Dagot and Nulgorth's maps only to get locked in a shitty cutscene. In spite of Dage getting beaten like a runaway slave in the last round the cutscene depicted him winning the war.
Obvious foreshadowing is obvious and the botting commenced; Part 3 became Part 2 2: Electric Boogaloo after Dagot started taking a beating twice as severe as his last. With his chance of online victory slipping through his shit-smeared fingers Dagot opened up Twitter and promised his dickweed subjects Black Blade Master before going back on that and offering Paragay again. This time Miltonius cockslapped back offering his own personal armor. Then some skid with shit taste downloads and decompiles the AQW .swf and leaks the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag3YO8ZysqA" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">super secret ending to the Dage vs. Nulgath shitfest.
tl;dr Dagot ex machina. Dage wins regardless.
PTR (Public Test Realm)
The first instance of PTR was in 2009 and it was pretty cool; shit was glitchy and items were deleted and there was that PvP thing. The interface in PTR was good and everything was animated. Of course the AQW team decided for every step forward there had to be two steps back - custom stats were shitcanned and damage and stun animations were removed. Also ACs.
The second (and third) instance of PTR was in 2012 when the playerbase started asking Cysero why AQW lagged more than a nigger in chains. To fix this problem Cysero changed Sir Ver to 'PTR' and told his moron players that the AQW team were working on a super secret solution. Of course nothing was fixed and players that 'participated' in the PTR test by logging into the renamed Sir Ver were given another boy scout badge and a complimentary molesting courtsey of Cubmaster Cysero. Also guilds which took four years for AE to add. Players that expected revolutionary change to AQW were sorely disappointed to find guilds consisted of a name under usernames (e.g. < Cocksuckers >) and another chatbox.
tl;dr Cysero is a lazy fuck who can bite the hand that feeds as much as he wants because his players and investors are fucking stupid.
Adventure Coin Currency and Big Mr.AC_AC
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*WARNING: this part of the Article was horribly written by a noob, you have been warned* (Hint: It is the butthurt warning above this article typed in bold)
In Adventure Quest Worlds, now referred to many players as "Adventure Coin Worlds" there are two types of currency, gold (virtual pixelated shit only valued by Chinese sweat shop workers in other MMOs), and Adventure Coins: Pixelated Jew Gold purchasable with real life Jew Gold. The staff long ago realized that the majority of their player-base consists of rich, no life white faggots and poor niggers with rich faggot parents. Since day one, when AQW went up shit creek and got stuck, Cysero put into motion a plot to rob the innocent players of all their money before shutting down the trap MMO and then moving to Cuba with George Lowe, Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur. As pictured above, Mr.AC_AC is Cysero's secret alter-ego which he does not wish players to find out about! Thankfully the agents here at Encyclopedia Dramatica did some deep undercover spy shit and discovered this revealing photograph of the man himself in true form!!!!!! Big Mr.AC_AC can usually be found shoving his chode down players throats until they shit out their financial contributions to his empire. After the staff and their new hero Big Mr.AC_AC discovered that shitheads would keep paying the same for crappy items instead of for things any respectable MMO should have like gameplay and functionality, the fiesta began. It never stopped. It is still going harder than a certain 70 year-old Penn State Football coach pounding a little boys anus in court! The staff now works approximately 30minutes a week prepping 15minute re-releases by copying and pasting last weeks code but with Dage splattering a new coat of paint on it (new armors that look purty) and calling it the next Chaos Saga! Despite this, they still profit the same as if they really did do any actual work at all! Step aside World of Warcraft, Runescape and Rift, you're all shitheads compared to THESE geniuses! The clever players of AQW keep purchasing and purchasing until they finally have to sell their internal organs for Alpha Pirate re-makes! No other MMO can make you do that now can it? At least Big Mr.AC_AC doesn't think so.
The Great Xusha Fiasco of 2012
The shitterpipes and floodgates were gushing over the news of Artemisia (or Xusha) and her date-to-be with the operating table for coronary artery bypass surgery or some something along the lines of. Fake tears were shed by all the fanboys and wannabe-artists like Reki (who drew the worst fucking sword ever and a shitty armor to match) as news of Xusha's death spread across the AQW social media network faster than dysentery and lice in a Russian forced labor camp. To remember the loss of the ex-moderator the AE team went ahead and changed the name of her shittiest suggestion shop item from 'Xusha's Curse' to 'Xusha's Legacy'. And what a legacy it would be.
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# If you want to change the size parameter, then you must include a unit of measurement (e.g. %, px, pt).
# If a parameter value contains an equals sign, the parameter name must be declared explicitly." This means that if you want to include a URL in your quote, and if that URL contains an equals sign, then you must explicitly declare the parameter. All that means is that you should add "1=", "2=", or "3=", as appropriate, ahead of your quote text, speaker, or source, like this:
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Xusha became the next Jimmy Hoffa as the fanboys debated her death. Of course everyone turned to Cysero and pointed their shitstained fingers at the Big Jew for answers (not that Cysero is ever truthful). Of course Cysero had no fucking clue and so he first turned to an account set up by Xusha's so-called sister who replied in her death-to-America quasi-English that Xusha did indeed kick the bucket despite Xusha tweet'ing over and over during the incident. More denial and pissing kerosene over the fire from Cysero, more angst-ridden bandwagoning on the forums and on Twitter. A big statue shaped like a horsecock was erected in the middle of Russia to honor her passing. Then some fag discovered that she was stealing art from some other chick and the shitstorm went up from a Category 5 hurricane of shit to a theoretical Category 6 of pure oh fuck no.
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# The "color" and "size" parameters refer to the quotation marks—not the text.
# The "textColor" and "textSize" parameters refer to the text.
# The "sourceColor" and "sourceSize" parameters refer to the text for the quoted persons or source.
# If you want to change the color and size variables, you must declare the parameter explicitly (i.e. you must include "color=" or "size=").
# If you want to change the size parameter, then you must include a unit of measurement (e.g. %, px, pt).
# If a parameter value contains an equals sign, the parameter name must be declared explicitly." This means that if you want to include a URL in your quote, and if that URL contains an equals sign, then you must explicitly declare the parameter. All that means is that you should add "1=", "2=", or "3=", as appropriate, ahead of your quote text, speaker, or source, like this:
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Xusha's 'Legacy' was renamed 'Liar's Curse' and Xusha was banned from the AQW and all of AE's intercock forever. The bandwagon crashed into the Russian poo-man and his poo cart soon after and shitty stinking ex-fanboys disloged themselves from the smelly brown mess. Of course some good did come from this event that would go down in AQW history; Xusha proved that AQW players will indeed believe anything if it means they look sensitive and caring and all that other shit that you wish you were.
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Template usage
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Notes
# The "color" and "size" parameters refer to the quotation marks—not the text.
# The "textColor" and "textSize" parameters refer to the text.
# The "sourceColor" and "sourceSize" parameters refer to the text for the quoted persons or source.
# If you want to change the color and size variables, you must declare the parameter explicitly (i.e. you must include "color=" or "size=").
# If you want to change the size parameter, then you must include a unit of measurement (e.g. %, px, pt).
# If a parameter value contains an equals sign, the parameter name must be declared explicitly." This means that if you want to include a URL in your quote, and if that URL contains an equals sign, then you must explicitly declare the parameter. All that means is that you should add "1=", "2=", or "3=", as appropriate, ahead of your quote text, speaker, or source, like this:
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