Dr. Date Rape

In late 2008, a [[baw]]wing [[feminist]] [[article]] brought to light the [[lulz|brave actions]] of one [[Wop|Jeffrey Marsalis]] - AKA Dr. [[Date Rape]] - who is neither a doctor nor going on very many dates these days, at least not by choice or with the opposite sex. Before he was [[V&]] then [[IRL B&]], "Dr. Date Rape" managed to [[rape|woo]] [[at least 100|hundreds]] of women using a strategy based on brilliant [[logic]]:

# All women are [[whores]]
# All whores crave [[money]]
# Therefore, [[Logic|all women must like doctors because doctors have money]].

To exactly [[noone]]'s surprise (except the women, LOL) this worked flawlessly.

I was Raped On a Date Stories

Sheryl, a student, once had a narrow escape with a rape.

Let's Learn From The Master

[[Fight Club|The first thing you need to understand]] about Marsalis is that he was a very fuckable, good-looking guy. [[Not gay|I mean, this dude was handsome]]. As the prosecution stated, "Look at this adonis of a man. He's [[hawt]]. Any woman in her right mind would want to skewer herself on his dick. [[I'd hit it|Hell, I want to fuck him in my ass right now]]. There's no way this guy couldn't get some willingly, from a woman if he wanted to." Marsalis, unlike [[you]], was not an [[ugly]] [[troll]] and thus did [[lie|not "need to rape"]] to get some. That he was capable of raping so many women due in part to his good looks and charm [[Nerd rage|is a testament to the shallowness of women everywhere]]. In actuality, this adds to the body of evidence that rape is about lulz, not horniness.

Moving On...

Dr. Date Rape is living [[fact|proof]] that all women are [[asking for it]]. In point of fact, many of his dates literally asked for it, repeatedly. [[Extreme advertising|But don't take our word for it!]] Their actions speak louder than their accusations:

Template: frameView/Edit

Template: frame
This template inserts specific content or formatting. View template page for more details.

|border=blue|background=beige}}

Getting Away With It

Like [[kittens]] 99% of all good stories involving sexual assault and [[sick fuck]]ery these days, the [[internets]] was probably [[lurk]]ing somewhere behind a dumpster, refusing interviews from the [[media]] about its [[obvious|alleged]] involvement.

The [[facts]] speak for themselves: Marsalis used [[Online dating|Match.com]] to meet most of his [[Gullible|marks]]. Later, this fact would be used against the [[victims]] in [[Internet law|a court of lawl]] to assert that anybody who uses online dating services is pretty much saying, "[[Nirvana|rape me]]." In this way, Marsalis was brought to court several times, and [[LOL|let free to rape and rape again.]]

The [[Irony]]

This section was going to point out the irony of the [[fact]] that after he had raped hundreds of women, Marsalis is now in [[prison]], being pounded [[in the ass]] by some huge hairy black person with [[shit]]ty prison yard tattoos all over his [[cock|weiner]]. You know, sort of like in [[Shit nobody cares about|that Sublime song about date rape]]. However, as it turns out, the state of [[Pennsylvania]] where Dr. Date Rape was put on trial [[LOL WUT|did not convict him of a single count of rape]], despite the jury being treated to a parade of dozens of witness-[[cum]]-victims. This is because it was clear to the [[sick fucks|good folks]] of [[Pennsylvania]] that his "victims" obviously had it coming, and, in point of fact, liked it (at least while they were conscious, [[LOL]]). Marsalis was put in minimum security jail for [[like]] 2 years max for some [[pussy]]-ass [[Fail|cop-out "sexual assault" charge]]. This is not nearly as much time as he would have received for being found guilty of rape - [[Shit nobody cares about|which he was, in fact, guilty of]].

In conclusion: [[Patriot|God bless America]], and [[freedom]] for all [[hypocrite|unless you're a woman]] a moron who continues to see your date rapist because you're happy you snagged a moderately attractive doctor.

See Also

* [[Alcohol]]
* [[Asking for it]]
* [[Drugs]]
* [[Feminism]]
* [[I CAME]]
* [[Internet Law]]
* [[Online dating]]
* [[Rape]]
* [[Victim complex]]
* [[Woman]]

External Links

* http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27825997/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Original article, *sniffle*
* http://www.phillymag.com/articles/features_he_said_they_said/page1" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Loooong Philly mag article
*