Facebook Groups
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If the above phrase sounds familiar to [[you]], there is a chance you have been introduced to the feature "Groups" on [[Facebook]]. Only on Facebook will you find dumb hipsters, scammers, old political spinsters, and utter retards vying for your imaginary patronage to their Facebook Group, as if achieving the goal of having one million people click a button completes your life. The pinnacle of keyboard warrior activism, Facebook, is awash with impotent threats, welched bets, and million man marchers who have no intention of actually showing up in the real world.
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Classes of Groups
Like every bad [[RPG]] ever, we can easily break down and pigeonhole every group imaginable into several discrete categories. Also, as in said terrible RPGs, you will find it is the class that incorporates elements from every other class that is the most powerful at sucking in retards.
Facebook Changed so we're all going to leave
Probably the most common of the groups, people often mistake the friendly web 2.0 veneer of the Facebook user interface for something that actually gives a shit about them. The truth, of course, is that it is a cold, hard, data-mining machine that doesn't give a fuck about [[you]] or any of the millions of saps that give it every detail about their lives bar a piss sample. The result is that when your aunty can no longer find her farmville icon because it was moved 10 pixels to the right, this is taken as an indicator that the company has sold out. Idiots mobilize and join a protest group and won't leave it until their demands are met.
Local Organisation/Club
These Groups really aren't so bad. They usually consist of 10-30 members who barely know how to use their computers, outside of clicking "Safari" and staggering their way into the [[Facebook]] website, so they can play Mafia Wars and click the "like" button on all their friends' statuses.
If This Group Gets X Members, Y Will Occur
This group relies on humanity's need to feel like a causal link in a chain, by enticing users to believe that they will somehow contribute to something good/chaotic (bad things are forbidden on Facebook) when they join this group. There are several variations on this class, but they rely on the same basic principle which is common throughout Facebook: people are idiots.
I Will Name My Child X
This group claims that, after a certain number of people join the group, the creator will name their child some ridiculous name, such as
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