Rap

Many rappers, particularly those who have converted to Islam, express a personal dislike of [[Jews]]. For instance, Chuck D of Public Enemy once praised epic Jew-hater [[Louis Farrakhan]] as "a [[prophet]]" and complained that the Jews who control the media were [[pwn|crucifying]] him, just like they did to [[Jesus]]. Professor Griff, another PE member, went so far as to blame Jews for the majority of evil in the world, including unleashing "[[bling]]" culture onto black ghettoes through their [[Protocols of the Elders of Zion|control of the diamond industry]]. However, Public Enemy's first album was produced by the Jew Rick Rubin and all of the businessmen responsible for distributing their music were Jewish, revealing it all to be a staged spectacle put on by the Jews to confuse and entertain the populace and make money out of others' misfortunes.

Essentially, rap music is nothing more than a plot by the Jews to convince black people that it's cool to be [[angry]] and violent [[criminals]] fated for [[prison|zoo]], while they make lots of media money by selling records of blacks being angry and violent criminals in the zoo as entertainment. Essentially, it's modern day [[slavery]]. Not that black people need much encouragement in this regard.

Constructing the Rapper

A W Mann, prophet without honor

Rappers did not exist, so it was necessary to invent them

Tie-in merchandising can be hugely profitable

Lifestyles of the [[Rich]] and [[Criminal]]

Rappers smoke overpriced [[weed|schwag]], smoke heavily cut/overpriced [[crack]], drink overpriced [[liquor]], pop [[meth]]-cut/overpriced [[X]] and generally use the [[money|dollars]] of their adoring [[fans]] to pay the bikini-clad [[black chicks|black women]] who [[whore|strip]] for them were originally honor students at [[college]], but were kidnapped, brainwashed and are now permanent prisoners in the mansions of the hip-hop artists.

It is also worth noting that in order to be a rapper, you must [[hate]] white people. It is, however, acceptable if you buy overpriced brand-name products from [[whitey]], such as [[cars]] you don't know how to drive (e.g. Mercedes, Cadillac, Lamborghini, Rolls Royce, Bentley), jewelry you look like an asshole wearing (e.g. Rolex), designer clothing you trash daily (e.g. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada) and other sophisticated things that niggers are too stupid or lazy to make.

Clothing

[[Flea Market Montgomery|One of the greatest rappers of all time

Hip hop apparel usually consists of dangerously baggy pants that drag on the ground and trip the rapper, boxers that are constantly visible, a 25-pound matching hooded sweatshirt, oversized brown boots, fake jewelry, $500 Air Force 1 shoes (because "they're fuckin' hot kicks") and the [[ape]] inside of it all (see right). [[Wiggers]] can wear this, but their typical attire is usually wearing dark and nylons with blue flames and a lame ass [[dragon]] on the back.

Tips to Rapping Fashion

*Wear baggy clothing to look like a complete [[Faggot|tool]].
*[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Claim you're the best thing since sliced bread]]
*[[Unoriginal|Rap about drugs, sex and money]].
*Own a collection of flat-brimmed hats that all have LA or [[New York City|NY]] on them.
*Wear excessive cologne and grills.
*Own about 2,000 pairs of shoes, yet never ever tie any of them.
*Wear excessive bright colors that don't match at all.
*Walk with your hands tucked into your jeans.
*Pretend to like whitey sports (ex: [[Tiger Woods|golf]]).
*Pretend to hate the police while at the same time show that you don't care what they think.
*Pretend to be from "da hood", which is actually just a fictional place with couches on the lawn and rabid dogs.
*Find out [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|WHO THE HELL SHORTY IS]]! He's in like every freakin' rap song! Who the hell is he?

What Classifies As A Rap Song?

[[Soulja Boy

For a song to classify as rap, one must be able to identify most or all of the following elements:
* A list of [[felonies]]
* [[Ebonics]]
* [[Fuck|Swearing]] [[shit|every]] [[ass|other]] [[bitch|line]]
* Even though not in concert, you must use phrases that refer to you being in an actual concert, such as "Put ya' hands in da' air"
* Lyrics or titles containing the pseudomorph tha. as in Tha [[Cops]] Was Aksin' Me
* Multiple references to some sort of "hood" or "projects". (Somewhere in [[New York]] is always a good place to start.)
* Lyrics about raping white women in [[KFC]] (they were [[asking for it]] which is always the case).
* [[Police]] sirens.
* Anything describing sex
* [[BAW|Singing about]] [[Poverty|hard times]]
* [[Drugs]] -- lots of drugs
** If you're from the "[[Africa|dirty South]]": Include references to trashy and [[Psychosis|psychosis-inducing]] shit like [[PCP]] and sizzurp
* Stealing other people's [[shit|work]] and mix it in with random [[bullshit|sounds]]
* [[Will Smith|The story all about how your life got flipped, turned upside down]]
* If its modern rap, have a Roland Drum machine that does a beat sample played at a bat-shit crazy tempo, and then say how you're tired of using technology.
* A dance that involves being so low to the ground that you get trampled by a [[retard]] that is [[doing it wrong]].
* Random DJ that constantly yells his name throughout the song.
* [[Bix nood|Gibberish]]

Rules of Rap

[[Rape|Not to be confused with...

# All post-1990s rap songs are ripoffs of other songs.
# Rhyme; it's called [[Retards|retards]] [[Failing|attempting]] [[poetry|poetry]] for a reason.
# Use copious filler.
# Absolutely under no circumstances can you use a time signature other than 4/4.
# All white rappers suck, [[no exceptions]].
# [[Original Content|Originality]] is bad.
# If you're not [[pussy|gangster]], you don't belong.
# Rap about [[bitches]], hoes and tricks -- especially if the only women you get are stank-ass, [[STD]]-infected [[prostitutes]].
# Button your clown lips. If you bitch about your Jew [[Back-stabbers|paymasters,]] they will https://www.newstatesman.com/culture/2017/12/i-reported-reggie-yates-s-comment-weeks-ago-so-why-there-only-outcry-now" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">kick you to the kerb before you know what hit yo bitch ass. (Archived:

Creation of a Hip-Hop Song

Legendary producer and known kike-puppet, Dr Dre in the studio.

The fabled "hood" which is spoken of so much in rap.

[[SUP DAWG

First, a music producer goofs around on a cheap Casio keyboard. You know, the kind you could pick up for five bucks at a flea market and has old leaked batteries inside of it and sticky juice-stained keys. Around 45 seconds later, the proper beat and tempo are found. Then the artist starts rapping some half-assed poetry about his clothes, slutty women shaking their stinky asses, lame double-entendres, acting like a total [[moron]] at a club, and his watermelon harvest. A sampled melody from an unpopular Alan Parsons Project song may be included by the producer. And that's how a hip-hop song is made. If that's too advanced for you, we here at ED have created a handy guide:

# First, you must create a TOTALLY PIMPED-OUT and preferably illogical pseudonym because regular old names are too boring for today’s X-TREME generation.
# To establish yourself as a [[fag|totally unique individual]], you must write songs about highly innovative and original topics such as [[sex]], [[drugs]], [[violence]], [[money]], [[women]], and nightclubs, because those topics have never been written about or even discussed before.Remember, nobody likes a poser! Also make sure to be sexist and racist towards white people.
# When you write a song, go for style and not substance! Make sure you rhyme as many times as you can. Don’t worry about sacrificing the coherence of your message to all your forced rhyming; there’s no substitute for [[gay|kool]]!!! In fact, the more incoherent your song is, the better. For inspiration, see [[Riding Dirty]]. Also, a lot of [[fun|swearing]]. Every other line, say [[fuck]], [[shit]], [[bitch]], [[hoe]], nigga, [[ass]], [[dick]], [[pussy]], [[piss]], or muthafucka. You are trying WAY too hard if the chorus of your song contains more than 5 different words.
# Make sure to repeatedly lace your lyrics with random vocal interjections such as "uh-huh," "yeah," "dat's right," and most recently "ballin" to remind everyone that you’re totally off the hook. Of course, these meaningless vocal spasms of shite do not serve to fill the void when you can’t think of more substantial things to rap about...
# Don't even bother about singing, because that takes talent and effort. Just talk in somewhat of a rhythm—occasionally. Speak normally the rest of the time. Make certain that you butcher the English language as much as you can. Never speak correctly. That's not being totally pimped, yo!
# Turn on the radio to a rock station. Listen for a catchy guitar riff and record it. Synthesize it, and alter it slightly. Loop it about 100+ times and you have your [[bullshit|VERY OWN, NON-PLAGIARIZED RAP SONG]]! Next, drop [[random]] samples of [[police]] sirens and load [[guns]] to prove you're a badass rebel. Then give yourself a cookie.
# Don't forget to put a picture of a hot woman on your CD cover to compensate for your lack of hot women in the real world. Also, do it to boost the sales of your CD because you know your shit sucks, and is hence likely to attract the sort of [[basement dweller|crowd]] liable to use it for a cheap [[wank]].
# Sit on your [[lazy]], [[narcissistic]] ass and let other people who are more competent and talented than you mix, produce, print and publish the album.
#??????????
# [[PROFIT]]!

[[PROTIP]]: It is impossible for a rap "song" to be written by just one rapper. It's a little-known [[fact]] that every rap song features [[at least 100]] other rappers, most of whom are unknown. In fact, the majority of every rap CD does not feature the actual rapper itself.

Anatomy of a Rap Song

The Notorious K.K.K.

Poop Dong is [[Want|not sure if want

#truth

For the Jews to make any money off this garbage, they have to have a systematic formula that both sells albums and retards the middle class. It also has the ability to make you "uncool" for seeing it for what it really is: THE SAME STUPID SHIT - EVERY FUCKING TIME. Top men have been studying this for years and have finally broken it down. Be warned, however: if you enjoy rap music, and still do after seeing this, you might be retarded. Only your physician can tell.
# Start out with a single loop. Every fucking rap song in existence is in a 4/4 time signature, which is due to the fact that it's all that's covered in the instruction manual that came with the equipment they stole and that niggers can't comprehend music theory in general. The initial loop is going to continue the whole song, so make it "good"! PROTIP: Rip off a song that's already been famous. Rule of thumb: Whatever that song made when it was released will be multiplied by the current cost of living in record sales (which in a nigger's case is only about as big as his welfare check, but you'd be surprised). Their record label will keep all the money anyway. It's probably owned by Dr. Dre.) 
# Just before the beat comes in, scream your fucking name, then scream the DJ's name, then scream your label's name. The more names you can fit in the beginning of the song will determine how much people will give a crap when your shitsampler destroys EVERYTHING REAL MUSICIANS WORK FOR. Example: "LIL (insert name)! FEATURING (misspelled something, then misspelled your name) and DJ (someone no one knows).
# After shouting over 9000 names, give a shout out to who your target audience is. Since it's niggers and suburban kids who wish they were niggers, it's probably going to be somewhere where poor people live. For added lulz, tell them how you contribute to social growth and society in general. Example: "Doin' it beeeg n da dirty south dawgs keepin' it real! for all my homies and shawtys, word!"
# Beat comes in; again, it's a 4/4 time signature. As long as the bass is turned up all the way, it could be a chimp farting on a snare drum and it will still get played in the club. BE SURE TO INCLUDE GUN SHOTS AND POLICE SIRENS. Without them, you're not a baller. And no one will take you seriously if it doesn't sound like someone was being shot when you were recording this. Statistics show that most gunshots in rap songs were actually fired during recording.
# Here comes the easy part: LYRICS! Basically, to efficiently write rap songs, templates are available. Each record company has their own, and they work similar to Mad Libs. Just fill in the blanks and you are good to go! Make up words for extra points! EXAMPLE: (PROPER NOUN) BE (VERB) CAUSE I LOOK SO (ADJECTIVE); (NOUN) WANNA (VERB) ME WHEN I (VERB) THEIR (NOUN). Since black people can't understand English, it actually makes it better for some reason. No one knows why. It's probably because if you're stupid enough to like it, you're stupid enough to understand it.
# Write your hook! It should include at least one of the following subjects:

::*Looking good.
::*How cool your [[car]] is.
::*Your [[gun]]s.
::*How easy it is to get [[women]].
::*How much [[money|paper]] you make.
::*How nice your clothes are.
::*How jealous others are of your talent.
::*How [[Awesome|great]] you are.
::*How great your neighborhood is.
::*Something tragic.

N.B. If utilizing the concept of tragedy, it must relate to black people for it to be taken seriously. If it happened to white people, the government would have stepped in and helped because THEY DON'T SELF PERPETUATE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THEIR PEOPLE FOR PROFIT. Yea, that's what rap is.

Basically, just a lie. It's not like you have anything to prove anyhow. Since it sounds like something someone already did, it's going to sell.

# INSERT HORRIBLE FEMALE SINGER NO ONES EVER HEARD OF NOA! The less known, the better! That way, while she's fucking you for a shot at fame, she might make it really big in the meantime and insure your future as well! Better start hitting the strip clubs! PROTIP: Make them spell something. This shows that she actually has learned in her education.
# After repeating the hook over 9000 times, repeat step 1 until you run out of memory on your stolen Acer laptop. 
# Burn to CD or your Zune (also stolen.)
# FUCKING FAMOUS.

Music Videos

Every rap video ever

Gallery

See also

Another Aryan invention [[Typical|plundered by darkies

If only we had listened...

Rappists

* [[2Pac]] - murdered by the [[JIDF|Jewish Defense League]]
* [[Eminem]] - the white nigger
* [[50 Cent]]
* [[bonzi_b]]
* [[Canibus]]
* [[Charlie Check'm]]
* [[Chuggo]]
* [[Ean Griffiths]] (Top DAWG)
* [[Flea Market Montgomery]]
* [[The Game]]
* [[Hyphy]]
* [[Lil B]]
* [[Nicki Minaj]]
* [[Meek Mill]]
* [[Rick Ross]]
* [[Soulja Boy]]
* [[T-Pain]]
* [[Will Smith]]
* [[Xzibit]] ([[SUP DAWG]])
* [[Fuck_What_You_Heard|DMX]]